09 January 2011


I had the worst end to the best day. It was spent with friends having 2 pm breakfast, wine and lots of laughs. Fantastic company, lots of fun.

I headed home on the train about 6.30. I put my headphones on and noticed a group of four teenagers staring at me. My music was on softly so I could hear them say how red I look, and laughing about my appearance. The ones who could see me pointed me out to the ones who were facing away from me. For them to get a better view, two of them took photos of me on their iPhones and showed them to the others. The angles they held their phones at made it pretty obvious they were photographing me. They continued to take photos of me, and when I stood up to exit the train, there a mad scramble to put their phones down.

I rarely confront someone if they aren't directly speaking to me about my appearance. Today I did.

When I reached the door, I said 'hey guys, could you please stop taking photos of me and showing them around. It's disrespectful'. Of course they denied it, muttering how stupid I am to say that. I said 'I may be red but I'm not stupid. I could see what you were doing'. Smirks continued. I said something else about them not understanding or respecting disability, and mentioned that my appearance has got me a role on TV. I was shaking, and even almost an hour later, I am still shaking.

Then, for the kindness of strangers, a man who sat opposite the kids took out his headphones and gave them a serve, telling them to stop harassing me and that he'd take them all on. It was quite a hallelujah moment for me. He really did improve the situation.

It's rare that strangers come to my aid when others stare, point and harass me. I thank this man so much for doing so. He's a really good person for doing so.

I doubt these kids will even reflect on what they've done and I've said. They're probably laughing about the crazy red girl who told them off in the train, and comparing pictures of me with their other small minded mates.

I was speaking to someone yesterday about the hot weather, and how I hate it. She sympathised with me. I said that the weather is physically difficult for my skin, but the thing that is often worse is peoples' reactions and assumptions about it. Times like today I feel like a freakshow. Like the silverchair video. But without the botox or Daniel Johns.

I know I'm not a freak. But I am someone whose appearance is ridiculed on a regular basis.

I do know, however, that I am courageous, smart, positive, and beautiful enough to rise above their shit. I also have enough self worth not to carry this day with me for the rest of my life, and remember that the peoples' opinions about me that really matter are those who love me for who I am. And I'm stronger than these fuckwits will ever be.


  1. Good on you for saying something to them! I hate public transport, I've had some situations where I wish someone had stood up for me. It left me shaking too so I certainly don't blame you. I'm never taking public transport alone again.

    Love that song - how young and cute do they look lol

  2. You did the right thing confronting them. It's easy for people to say 'be the bigger person and let it go' but those teenagers definitely sound like class A dickheads to me and they deserved a good talking to.

    It's great a stranger helped out - that's becoming rarer by the day.

  3. u inspire me Carly. You have traits that most people struggle to even conceive of. You really do inspire me.

    Anna xo

  4. Good on you, Carly for taking a stand.

    I'm sorry this happened to you.

    SSG xxx

    Sydney Shop Girl blog

  5. Good on you Carly! I'm sure bullies like that are very surprised when people stand up to them and it's great that you have the self confidence to stick up for yourself. I'm sure anyone else watching would have admired your courage as I'm sure all of your blog readers do too!


  6. You are so strong, good for you!!! I can't believe children/teenagers can be so cruel. One day one of them will reflect on this and do some good.... well I hold out hope that they will. They don't realise that words can hurt.

  7. It's awesome that you had the courage to stand up to them. I had some kids do that to me on the train once - taking photos, and laughing about the scars on my face. I just hid, and then cried on the phone to my mum. I admire your courage! You rock!

  8. Hi girl...
    Hope you are better ...:)

    People with small minds are everywhere...and you can be sp proud of yourself for standing up them...one day they will understand...
    And feel STUPID!
    And they are...

    Love is send from Norway, and a girl that knows what feeling like a "freak" sometimes feels like....


  9. People are generally rude and shithouse at the best of times. Blinded by their own need for trivial "entertainment". You are absolutely, positively fabulous, inspirational & beautiful in every way. DO NOT ever EVER let them shake your foundations. xxx

  10. I only have two things to say:
    1. People suck
    2. Karma's a bitch - they'll get what's coming to them sooner or later!

    Good on you for standing up for yourself!


  11. Good for you for standing up for yourself. And what a lovely man to come to your aid.....there's not much of that around these days.

  12. It really upsets me that this happened to you; for some reason I always find it more upsetting when things like this happen to other people. I hope you are feeling a bit better by now. I don't really like to generalise, but I've always (before and after the reconstructive surgery I've had) found teenagers to be the worst in their treatment of me. They seem to be the most common source of sniggers, smirks, pointing, etc, for me. They're also the most common people that I will say something back to, although far less politely and eloquently as you.

    I really hope you are feeling better and you are definitely a million times stronger than people like that ever will be. xoxo

  13. This is the first time I have read your blog & it broke my heart. I respect & love your honesty & will now be an avid follower - I bet those 4 imbeciles don't have a loyal following of 232. I can only hope they returned to their respective homes with hearts filled with guilt - the worst feeling possible in my book. And hallelujah for the stranger who gallantly stuck up for you - what a man. You have witnessed the best & the worst of human nature today.


  14. Bloody hell,
    some people really beggar belief.
    I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I am glad there are decent people out there in the world.


  15. Terrible.

    I really do hope that they were being "teenagers" and that they grow up.
    I'd love it if they went home and reflected on their pathetic attitude and thought about how hurtful their actions were.
    It would be fantastic if this incident stayed as a stark reminder in their brains that it's not "ok" to behave like that, if they could learn from their behavior.
    I hope their parents find out, and they also speak to them about the incident.

    I hope.

    And, to be honest.... When I was a young girl we would laugh, giggle and stare at people that were different, perhaps not pull out the camera we didn't even have mobiles till we were in Year 12! A gaggle of young school girls with peer pressure, wide naive eyes and wanting to look "cool" we could be pretty pathetic at times. But, we've all grown up and moved far beyond that.

    I hope the children you encountered do the same.

    I hope.

  16. Queen of confrontation. I bow to your awesomeness.

    I'm so glad that man was there to back you up against those little shits. I know it would have shaken you up.

    But I hope that when you remember this incident in future, the thing that stands out in your mind is the feeling of triumph of giving them a (well deserved) serve, and the well wishes you received afterwards.

  17. Marg of melbourne. I agree with what Pauline said and karma is a bitch. Well done. I was assaulted by a cyclist in a train last year. I stood my ground and that mad Him madder, plus I was a woman. Keep up letting them know.

  18. Snaps to you Carly. You go girl.
    Even though at he the time it seemed they were disregarding your comments I think at some level one of the four may have felt a tiny twinge of something.
    I hope so and that the seed was sown to be more caring and empathetic in the future.
    That man on the train in the words of Faux Fuchsia is 11/10/
    Both of you are awesome.
    Kate Bx

  19. Well, people often speak about those who seems the most interesting ones … positively or not ;) ! But these people seems to have remain at 10 years old mentally and according to what you lived, they don't seems to be more intelligent than necessary ... I hope you understood what I said, I'm french so ... and thank you very much for the silverchair vid, I'm one of their strongest fan on the entire earth since 15 years from now and it's always almost an orgasm when I hear about them since we don't hear much about them here in Canada ... lol ! You just made my day and for that, you deserve all the most beautiful compliments of the world, from me ;)

    A french canadian who try to write in english xxx

  20. Hey carly,
    this blog really brought me to tears because i know how kind hearted you are, you have been particularly supportive to me in particular. I just dont understand how people can be so cruel, as you know i also get stared at and things like that.

    I am proud of you, for the fact that you stood up and said something because even though they ridiculed you when you confronted them about it, it is saying them that this not acceptable, you cant be doing this to another human being- let alone one who is very beautiful, and kind hearted like yourself.

    For those kids who did this to you, you are low life scums who have no respect you shouldnt not be doing this. I hope you end up regretting it someday if you ever have the dencency to look back and realise how much what did hurts not just Carly but others with similar disabilities and illnesses.

    As for you Carly- Karma will come back and bite them on the arse someday i promise you, until then keep on keepin' on and being the courageous and beautiful person who has had such a positive impacted on my life. Thankyou so much darl.
    Luv ya, see ya soon :)
    Love Shaz xoxo

  21. You're amazing, Carly!! Brava, girl - I'm unique looking too and I will never get over the sheer rudeness of people whose small mindedness compel them to ridicule people like you and I, in order to make them feel better about their place in the world. Someone's status update on Facebook last week read, "You laugh at me because I'm different. I pity you because you're all the same." that really resonated with me and gave me strength. Also remember: Those who mind don't matter. And those who matter don't mind." Big hugs, Namila xo


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