18 April 2010

Resilience has taken leave today

It is 9.00 am and I really should get out of bed. There's washing to hang out, a flat to clean, papers to read, food to cook and eat and a 1500 word essay to do. I've also go to think about the logistics of getting my car to the mechanic while managing work, uni and volunteer work.

But I don't really want to do any of that. After yesterday's awful experience, I just want to have a day off from it all.

Thank you to everyone who has sent in comments through the blog, Facebook and Twitter supporting me. I can't believe how many strangers have stopped by and expressed their anger at the ignorance and rudeness of the woman in the second hand store. Though this one woman ruined my day, I am truly struck by the amount of wonderful, kind and compassionate people out there.

I have seen quite a few people on Twitter retweeting the link to this blog, urging people to avoid the store, and on Facebook, there was a long thread of replies to a friend who mentioned my story. Wow.

I have written an email to the High Street Northcote Committee. I gave a bit of background information about my skin condition, and told them, in the same words as I used in my blog, about the awful experience.

I also want to write to the store, but I don't think that will achieve anything. I will give it more thought.

It is hard to be resilient all the time. As I've mentioned, most of the time I don't notice the stares, and I deal with the comments and questions as politely as I can. But when faced with a truly rude and ridiculous situation like yesterday, it is hard to hold my head up high. I didn't react in the most polite way, and I make no apologies for that. But I shouldn't have had to defend myself because of the way I look. No one should be treated like I was yesterday.

Right now I'm pretty upset. I wasn't yesterday, that was anger. Right now I want to swap places with someone who doesn't look like me. I am completely fine with my looks. But sometimes I wish I didn't look this way. I wish I didn't have to explain why I look the way I do.


  1. I'm sending some first class f-bombs across the continents in solidarity. Please, please do not let this individual make you feel any worse than she did yesterday. Consider the source, skip the washing, grab a friend, have a drink or six, and leave this ignoramus in the dust.

  2. I can understand being upset, some days it's just too hard to be tough and resiliant when you have to be that way all the time! I tend to consider the down days just as valuable, taking some time out to vent and recuperate can help you come back stronger and more resliant the next day. No one can be 'on' all the time.

    I think writing to the comittee was a great idea and don't think you should hesitate to send it to the store either. Who knows, you might not be the first person she has hassled....

    Hope you rest up today and come back swinging tomorrow! xx

  3. Carly
    Hang in there!

    The tomorrows really are better.

    Take a few deep breaths in and out and try don't let the turkeys get you down.

    SSG xxx

  4. Sending massive hugs from Sydney Carly xx

  5. Carly you are one of the most beautiful people I know...it's an honour to call you my friend xxx

  6. Oh Carly- I'm so sorry that you feel so low today.

    Hang in there and as SSG says above, tomorrow will really be better! Hugs across the internet babe!

  7. More hugs from me too. What an awful woman - I trust that this will affect her business as I, for one, will tell everyone I know in Northcote to avoid her shop (or at least poke their head in and give her a piece of their mind). Keep your beautiful chin up and know that there are plenty of readers out there who find your way with words a little highlight of their day!

  8. Oh Carly, when I read things like your post it makes me sad that people (especially adults who should know how to conduct themselves within society) carry on like this, that they think it's acceptable and appropriate to make comments and act towards you as that person (I wouldn't even call her a lady) did. I know sometimes it's just too damn hard to get out of bed, occasionally you just need to embrace it (don't worry about the chores!) and take a you day and let your mind recover.

    And if it was me, I (well actually I would get my sister to do it, cos she's much better at these kind of things) would write to the store manager/owner, I think it's important for them to know about their staff members appalling behaviour.

  9. There's no point sending anything to the store-she owns it and is the sole employee

  10. Hi Carly

    Oh i am so sorry to hear that you had such an awful weekend all due to one feeble small minded shopkeeper. Please don't let it get you down.

    Btw when I read Steph's comment above I had a bit of a giggle to myself b/c the one thought that ran through my devious mind was what I would like to send to the horrid store keeper (I'll give u a hint - harry and holly both are quite adept at producing this!)

    Hope that you are having a wonderful start to the week and congrats on getting chosen to go on your trip to Sydney.

    *hugs to u*


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