It's a brighter day :)

It's amazing what a supportive environment can do for me.

Car sorted. It's at the garage and will be there for a few days. The heater has broken and needs to be fixed. Thank goodness for public transport.

Back at work today. Lots of laughs, and lots of kind words from colleagues, friends and strangers. How nice it was to receive a warm greeting today. How nice it was to be made to feel valued.

While I don't think it's professional to blog about work, and I will never go into detail, there are two exciting things I want to share. Tomorrow I'm going to the zoo for a meeting. The zoo! I hope to meet Mali. If I don't, there will be tears. I've also been chosen to go to Sydney for a conference about disability and diversity. Very excited to be acknowledged and chosen for this trip.

I also received a response from the High Street Northcote Trader's Association. It was a kind, heartfelt apology about what happened on Saturday. The representative believes it's been great that I've put the message out about this shopkeeper on Twitter, Facebook and this blog. He will also be taking my email, and other friends' emails to the shopkeeper, and speaking to her about her behaviour. He wants me to let everyone who sent in an email know that he appreciates you supporting me and letting the Trader's Association know how this woman treated me.

I also want to take the time to thank every one of you for your support. It's been overwhelming, and honestly, many of your comments and messages have brought me to tears. Yesterday my blog had 1080 views. Wow! I can't believe so many friends and strangers have come forward to voice their anger. Thank you for showing me what I am worth. Thank you also for restoring my faith in humankindness. I am very proud to know you all, and if we haven't met, I am very touched that you have taken some time from your day to send me a message.

I posted a letter to the woman today.

This is what it said:

18 April 2010

To Sylvia,

I was in your Things Second Hand store on Saturday 17 April, around about 2.00 pm.

You may remember me. I was the young lady with a skin condition. I had a red face.

The skin condition is called ichthyosis form erythroderma. This means scaly red skin. I was born with this condition, and there is no cure. The condition is medically and socially challenging. It is painful and susceptible to infections. If the skin infection gets too severe, I need to go into hospital to have IV antibiotics and bandages over my whole body, including my face. There is risk the infection can get into my blood and make me very sick.

I also get stared at, commented on and questioned about my appearance each day. Generally I don't notice, and am able to handle strangers' reactions to my condition politely and without fuss.

Your reaction to my condition did not deserve a polite response. I make no apology for swearing at you. I rarely swear. But when you demanded to know what was on my face, several times, I was so angry. I should never have to explain why I look the way I do.

I have vaseline on my face. Each day I cover my whole body with vaseline. Yes, it can pose a problem for my own clothes. My washing machine gets a work out. But when in stores, particularly when trying on clothes, I take great care in not getting vaseline, or skin, on the clothes.

On the Saturday when I was in your store, I did not touch the clothes. I was not eating and I did not have soiled hands. I was no threat to your clothes.

You had no right to demand to know what was on my face, or tell me that whatever is on my face will ruin the clothes.

When people ask me why I am red, even when they are rude, they are usually concerned for me – was I burnt? Was I sunburned? Am I ok?

But you took the cake. You were not concerned for me, but your clothes in your store. And I am writing to you today to let you know just how angry you made me.

I have written to the High Street Northcote Committee advising them of the way you treated me. I will also be writing to the Darebin Council to report your behaviour. And I will be lodging a complaint with the Victorian Government's Office for Disability.

I have also published the story of this humiliating experience in your store on my website. I have named your store. So far, over 1300 people have viewed my website. I have received around 100 comments on the website and my social networking pages in support of me, and stating how rude, small minded and discriminatory you are. Friends and strangers have also let their friends know about the way you treated me on their social networking sites on the internet.

You should be ashamed about the way you treated me. I expect that my experience was not the first time you have denigrated a customer in your store. People need to know about this.

I don't imagine this letter will make a difference to you opening your mind and thinking before you speak. But I hope it will make you realise the impact the impact your behaviour had on me on Saturday 17 April. And I hope that no one that sets foot in your your store will be treated this way by you again.

Carly
itchy_81@hotmail.com



I will go to sleep with a smile on my face tonight.

Thank you for helping me do so.

Resilience has taken leave today

It is 9.00 am and I really should get out of bed. There's washing to hang out, a flat to clean, papers to read, food to cook and eat and a 1500 word essay to do. I've also go to think about the logistics of getting my car to the mechanic while managing work, uni and volunteer work.

But I don't really want to do any of that. After yesterday's awful experience, I just want to have a day off from it all.

Thank you to everyone who has sent in comments through the blog, Facebook and Twitter supporting me. I can't believe how many strangers have stopped by and expressed their anger at the ignorance and rudeness of the woman in the second hand store. Though this one woman ruined my day, I am truly struck by the amount of wonderful, kind and compassionate people out there.

I have seen quite a few people on Twitter retweeting the link to this blog, urging people to avoid the store, and on Facebook, there was a long thread of replies to a friend who mentioned my story. Wow.

I have written an email to the High Street Northcote Committee. I gave a bit of background information about my skin condition, and told them, in the same words as I used in my blog, about the awful experience.

I also want to write to the store, but I don't think that will achieve anything. I will give it more thought.

It is hard to be resilient all the time. As I've mentioned, most of the time I don't notice the stares, and I deal with the comments and questions as politely as I can. But when faced with a truly rude and ridiculous situation like yesterday, it is hard to hold my head up high. I didn't react in the most polite way, and I make no apologies for that. But I shouldn't have had to defend myself because of the way I look. No one should be treated like I was yesterday.

Right now I'm pretty upset. I wasn't yesterday, that was anger. Right now I want to swap places with someone who doesn't look like me. I am completely fine with my looks. But sometimes I wish I didn't look this way. I wish I didn't have to explain why I look the way I do.

My face may have ruined her clothes.

Shittiest day I've had in a while.

After a nice morning of bellydancing and then a catch up with a friend, my car broke down as my Mum and I headed out for a afternoon of shopping.

Something about a heater and leaking radiator fluid and the thermostat at the hot emergency level. Something about me needing to update membership to RACV and then pay this stupid $161 surcharge. It needed towing.

On the upside, both the RACV guys who attended to this damsel in distress were cute, AND when I pulled the broken down car into the nearest servo, who should be parked next to me but Vince Colosimo! Yes, I am the queen of spotting Underbelly actors.



But alas! This was no time to be asking for autographs or posing for photos. Mum would have killed me.

Anyhow, the car is home now, waiting for another tow truck trip to the mechanics. We sat in the truck. It was a little bit exciting.

I digress.

I have rarely said a bad word about anyone on this blog. Until now.

To kill time while waiting for RACV, Mum and I had a stroll down High Street Northcote. It was a gorgeous day and I wanted to check out some of the shops as I've only ever been there at night when I go to the Northcote Social Club to see a band.

The first shop we walked into was a second hand shop called Things Second Hand. It's located at 115 High Street.

I remember looking at a jacket, and then walking down the shop behind Mum. The shop was stacked with stuff. So much stuff I didn't actually see any individual items other than piles of stuff.

The shop keeper stared at me for about 20 seconds. I smiled and asked her if she was ok.

She said 'what's on your face?'

Here we go again, I thought. Another person questioning my appearance.

'Nothing', I said.

'What's on your face?', she demanded again.

Mum and I turned around to walk out of the store.

'Be careful of the clothes. I don't want what's on your face to ruin them'.

Yep. She said that. Several times, in a high pitched voice. Bitch.

Now generally, no matter how rude someone is when asking about my appearance, they may have a tiny concern for my wellbeing. Worried I am sunburnt. Worried I am burnt.

Not this woman. She was worried about her second hand clothes in her store, that was already packed the rafters with junk, getting dirty from my vaseline.

Sure, my vaseline poses a problem for the clothes I wear. My washing machine has a work out. I have to carefully choose fabrics so the oil doesn't show up.

But today, I didn't touch anything in her store, let alone rub my face up against them.

Though I defend myself pretty well, I rarely swear.

I said 'fuck you' to her more than four times.

I told her that I was born this way and that my face will not harm her 'fucking clothes'.

In haste, I pushed Mum into another piece of junk in her shop as we walked out.
She followed us out, ranting.

She ranted on the street. She ranted to passers by about how rude I was and that my face would damage her clothes.

There has been one other time in my 28 years that a shopkeeper has queried me about my vaseline ruining their clothes. The other time was about 10 years ago when a lady asked me politely not to touch the hats in the store. She wasn't rude. But I did walk about of the store.

I love shopping, and when I do try on clothes, I take the utmost care to ensure my skin and vaseline doesn't damage the clothes. There have been times when I've felt compelled to buy something if too much of my skin is on the clothing.

But today, I didn't touch anything. Today was unbelievable. I have never felt so worthless, or demeaned in a store.

I felt like going back in there, and smearing vaseline over the junk in the store.

I was so riled up that I took a photo of the store.



I want everyone to know that a rude, discriminatory woman works there.

My day can only improve.