I love social media

(source)

Many people I know are quite naive about social media - and the internet in general. Scared in fact. They think sharing updates and photos about their lives on Facebook is dangerous. They don't understand the perceived mundane tweets of Twitter. "Why do you want the world to know about what you had for breakfast?" people have asked me. And "what's a blog?" is the question I get asked when I speak of my blog. "An online diary" I say.They freak out at the thought of me sharing so much of my life online, and some have commented they think social media is a waste of time. For me social media is the launchpad for my writing career. It has also brought me so many new friends. I've put so much of my life online and nothing bad has happened to me - in fact I get less harassment online than I do 'in real life'.

This week I've had a few social media wins. I don't know whether these wins will influence those that are scared about social media to start using it in any way, but I hope they can see that social media can be for good.

First up - I was a the supermarket last week, looking for washing up gloves. I am allergic to latex and cannot use the regular rubber gloves. There were no latex free gloves in my local Coles. So I took a photo of the wall of gloves, and tweeted Coles.

 

Coles responded really quickly to my first tweet, and true to their word, on Wednesday, send me a follow up tweet.

I thanked them and included Chux in my reply. Chux make the gloves I can use. Within minutes I received this tweet from Chux.

 

And on Saturday a huge parcel was waiting for me at the post office - full of Chux goodies. It was the first time I was excited about cleaning products!

I received seven pairs of latex free washing up gloves, two boxes of food preparation gloves,a stack of different cloths and sponges and some other cleaning products! My cleaner will be pleased! The hamper also came with a lovely letter apologising for not being able to send me gloves in size small.

I was SO impressed! Impressed with Coles' tweets, and Chux's prompt service. Wow :) Thanks Chux!

Follow Coles and Chux on Twitter.

Next up is something that has been in the pipeline for a couple of weeks now, but it was confirmed officially last week. You may notice I have a disclaimer on my blog. 

This blog represents my personal opinions and experiences. It does not reflect those of my employers'.
The information I provide about ichthyosis is mostly based on personal experiences. Please seek medical advice or counseling before trying any new treatments I've written about.

After seeing that someone from my organisation's IP address had visited my blog a high number of times, and coming across an updated social media policy, I gave the Australian Public Service Commission's (APSC) ethics helpline a call to discuss whether I should put a disclaimer on my blog. After our conversation, I researched some different disclaimers, and put my own together.

A few weeks after that conversation, I received an email from the APSC asking me to speak on a panel about the responsible use of social media as a public servant. So while many of my fellow bloggers will be at the Digital Parents Conference next week, I'll be in Canberra speaking to a range of government employees and stakeholders about how I keep my blogging and social media activity separate to my day job. I am so pleased to be recognised for my blog in the workplace. I have asked whether I can blog about the event, and they don't see a problem.

Another thing I am pleased about is the spread of my my blog entries and lovely comments, particularly from the medical community after my post about responsible social media use as a patient. 

And there have been two other (quite frivolous) social media wins.

A tweet from Bob Evans at 4 am telling me I was amazing!

 (Patience from The Grates suggested that I must be amazing given he tweeted me at 4 am!

And this - the only time I will be featured alongside model Erin McNaught in a magazing - my tweet in Shop Til You Drop mag.

Finally, I received an email from the Sydney Writer's Centre telling me I've been nominated for the Best Australian Blogs Competition for 2012. Whoever nominated me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot that people come to read my blog, and value my writing enough to nominate it in this national competition.

So from all the criticism that social media cops, it's been pretty good to me, especially this week. For the doubters out there, give social media a go. You may make some really good networks and friendships.

Share your social media good news stories with me and my readers.

Not a very exciting post.

I have been a little absent from blogging this week. I haven't been well, felt quite tired, and paying some much needed attention to my thesis.

I've got a few ideas for posts in mind, so stay tuned. Must get back into writing lots and scheduling posts!

On Friday night I went to Northcote to see bands play - review to come. I met a friend of a friend who had this awesome tshirt. And I had to take a photo! I need one of these!

I've been reflecting on the good times I've had lately, and as much as I like to spend time alone, I love spending time with awesome friends. I feel really content. It's nice.

I have to do some cleaning before the cleaner comes, and cook dinner now, so I'll sign off. But I promise my blogging mojo will return soon :)

I hope you've all had a good weekend.

Ichthyosis. Accepting your lot in life. Gill Hicks.

(source)

"The weak of this world would not be able to cope, adapt, and live with Ichthyosis. The condition is a blessing in disguise. You're strong. He's strong, She's strong, Together, they are untouchable."
~ Nick Jones

Sometimes when I talk to others with ichthyosis (or parents of children with the condition), or even others with chronic illnesses or disabilities, I feel like I may be unrealistically positive. I see the best in this (often shitty) situation. As I wrote last week, my life isn't as gloomy as some expect.

I worry that people will see me as smug or blunt, or even a little arrogant, because I've just come to accept my lot in life.  Too happy even. "This is just how it is", I tell people. "I just get on with life. I have to". And I believe what I say too.

My ichthyosis just is. A genetic condition that I was born with and that I will have for the rest of my life. I rarely plead or ask for answers. I'm not depressed (and my lack of depression has been questioned). I'm not looking for the latest treatment or cure, and I'm not questioning why this 'happened' to me.

I don't lay blame and I'm not resentful. I've been asked a few times whether I blame my parents for passing on this genetic condition to me. I take offence to this suggestion. Never. (And I may be safe in saying many children with genetic conditions don't blame their parents for it either.) My parents didn't know they had the recessive gene. They didn't do anything to cause ichthyosis. They did the best they could raising me. And I thank them for giving me the support and love to create a positive attitude, become somewhat resilient and accept this condition.

(I understand that people with chronic illnesses and disabilities - and their families - feel frustration, and do ask for answers. When I was a child, my parents, with my best intentions in mind, took me to various dermatologists and witch doctors in search of a cure, until I said "enough". I understand (and have experienced) that living with a chronic illness or disability is not always easy or happy - there are are a range of emotions that come with having a chronic illness or disability - and I think emotional treatment is just as important as medical treatment. I also understand that blame will be placed. And all of that is ok too.

And I have only met one guy with ichthyosis in person, the rest of the contact I have in the community is online, so perhaps my written communication does get misinterpreted sometimes. I guess I just want to demonstrate that people with ichthyosis can have a fantastic life. it's all in the attitude.)

For me, it's about self acceptance and self awareness. I understand this condition makes me sore (sick) and I am comfortable adopting the terms 'chronic illness' and 'disability', because this condition is more than just appearance based. In fact, describing it by these terms make it easier to articulate, especially in the workplace. When someone always looks the same each day, it may be hard for others to detect when they are unwell.

I realised I had a chronic illness when I began to mentor young people at the hospital, I was a lot like them. We were like a mixed bag of lollies.Though our illnesses were vastly different and at varying levels of severity, our illnesses affected our lives in similar ways. Time off work and school. Isolation, bullying and misunderstanding. Trips to the specialist and hospital. We had our illnesses since birth or a lot of our lives. Some of the young people were milk bottles, others jubes. There were whizz fizzes and strawberries and cream and jellybeans. I was the Redskin of course. But we all came from the same bag, sharing familiarities of similar routines. And like lollies, making people smile, because we are just being ourselves.

Of course, not everyone needs to adopt this term 'chronic illness'. Call your condition what you like, even if you refer to it as a 'life ruining fucker'.

An illness/disability/condition/disease/life ruining fucker is what it is. It's medical terms exchanged by doctors and nurses, pain, difference, isolation and loneliness, heartbreak, stares, exclusion and adjustment.

But it's also a blessing. It means being able to stand out to the right people. It means being able to influence positively. It means being able to have a different perspective and perhaps a deeper understanding of human suffering. It's about having the confidence to be yourself and accept your lot in life.

One of my dear friends Jess - a beautiful person and an incredibly gifted writer who has a severe chronic illness - wrote this for me for an interview I did (for an article that I have not written yet):

"I am sick. I have been, at times, profoundly disabled. This does not mean that I have a bad life. I have a difficult life, yes. But I also have a beautiful life. Anger and sadness cannot and will not place me into remission. It will not bring my beautiful friends back. It will not save the lives of those I love still fighting.

So this morning, as every other day, I will swallow the tablets which keep me alive a little longer. I will spit blood into the bathroom sink. Then I will wear my prettiest dress, a splash of red lipstick, and I will smile.

Today I am alive, and that is the most incredible of gifts."

I listened to an interview between Richard Fidler and Gill Hicks. Australian Gill Hicks became a double amputee and sustained many other horrific injuries in the 2005 London bombings. It's an amazing story of survival, acceptance, perspective and anti-hatred. Gill is a 'peace activist' - establishing MAD Nests - a network of peace initiatives - the antidote to terrorism.

(source)

Gill's interview was so engaging, and I really do urge you to listen to it. She spoke about the terrorist attack - while she is angry, she bears no hatred toward to the terrorists. And despite her absolutely horrific injuries, she has taken on this life changing event for the best. She found unconditional love in her rescuers and while she fluttered between life and death, she made a decision to give back to the world when she recovered. One of the things that stood out for me is the humour she saw in her situation. She said that even though she was revived, she still has the same sense of humour as before.

You can hear Gill's interview here.

As I listened to Gill's interview, I realised that it is such a wonderful thing to accept your lot in life and affect change. You can choose anger, or you can choose to understand and make a difference to yourself and others. While Gill's life has changed in a way most of us will never know (she spoke of her having more chance of winning the lottery than being involved in a terrorist attack - and joked that of course she didn't win the lottery!), she carries on with such grace and acceptance.

She's an amazing woman. She can teach us a lot about self acceptance and awareness of
our illness/disability/condition/disease/ and show this fucker need not ruin our lives.
.

Sunday Snippets - long weekend

It's a long weekend in Melbourne. The weather is glorious, it's lazy, I feel more on track with my thesis - drawing up a timeline and narrowing my focus, and I don't have to go back to work until Tuesday. Happy days.

This morning I sat on the couch for two hours, reading a magazine and listening to the radio. I really read it too, not just flicking through the pictures. Relax, it was SBS Feast, not a trash mag!

Here are some photos of the first half of my long weekend. Photos arranged by Diptic, published with Instagram.

First up - morning tea and laughs with Cam at Hasfrau in Yarraville. I love Hausfrau - it's a homestyle German bakery, with rustic yet pretty sweet pastries and cakes, and hearty savouries.

From top left: mini tartlets that Cam bought - I ate a custard and strawberry one when I was sitting down. Elderflower drink - I love Elderflower and wish I drank it more. It's big in Tassie. My Croque Monsiuer (toasted ham sandwich topped with bechamel and cheese) served with two salads to make me feel better about eating pure bechamel! The sandwich was divine, but the salads really won me over - feta and beetroot, and pea, egg and spinach. Yum! Cam had a lemon syrup cake and a coffee.

Cam gave me two beautiful tops she picked up from the op shop - an apricot cardi and a sheer black ruffle blouse with silver buttons. We also went to an op shop in my neighbourhood where she got two footstools ($4 each!) and I got (possibly) a brand new Sportsgirl dress ($6) and a pretty dinner set ($10). It was a lovely morning!

Next stop was a nap. I was a bit sore by this time and worried I wouldn't make my next appointment - seeing my friend playing in a band at Moomba festival. Unfortunately I needed to get my face right and missed his band (plus I walked so far just to find the stage!) but I did meet him and we walked around looking at the colourful rides and then watched a band (The Paper Kites). Moomba was fun, but a lot of people, and it was quite warm too.

I then got the tram to Mamasita where I met another friend. We had to queue for a while - but not too long - gosh I wish restaurants would take bookings! - and then had a drink at the bar. Here's what we ate. From top left: a Mexican style salsa verde, spicy fish taco (mine) and corn (my friend's).

From top left: self explanatory cider, chicken quesadilla (my friend's) and hickory smoked salmon with quinoa and chill (mine). That salmon was probably the yummiest cooked salmon I've ever had - I prefer my salmon raw or smoked and cold. The skin was crisp, the sauce was like honey, and the salmon was at the perfect level between raw and cooked.

We went back to Moomba to see Owl Eyes (she does the best version of Pumped Up Kicks) who was just lovely. Then we headed our separate ways. I was so glad to get into bed after all the walking I did. And so I watched Lily Allen's Riches to Rags doco on iView, which I really enjoyed.

Right now I am off to do some more writing and then cook a scallop pie, as challenged by my Dad.

Have a great rest of the weekend!

This post is part of TinnieGirl's Sunday Snippets meme.

Being a responsible hospital patient on social media

 (source)

A couple of weeks ago I got into a conversation on Twitter with Natasha Mitchell, host of ABC Radio's Life Matters. Natasha and I met at the Yooralla Media Awards in 2010 - an episode of her previous program, All in the mind took out the best radio broadcast.

She tweeted a link to the Victorian Government's Department of Justice social media policy - which is a really good guide for anyone who works and uses social media. She also previewed the next day's episode of Life Matters which featured Melissa Sweet of Croakey Blog and Debra Cerasa of the Royal College of Nursing Australia discussing the ways doctors and nurses are exchanging information through social media. You can listen to their discussion here.

In summary, the discussion was about the way social media keeps healthcare professionals connected to others in the profession, and stay informed of local and international progress. The Royal College of Nursing uses Facebook to keep nurses informed of events, and to enable groups of nurses to keep connected.

The recent industrial action campaign by nurses has seen a huge social media presence, with messages on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and on the streets. I've had friends in the healthcare industry post messages of support for nurses, including messages aimed at politicians - in a very responsible and professional way. I believe this professionalism is because of the acceptance that social media is a valid (and instant) form of media, and awareness of social media policies.

Of course, social media in the healthcare industry is also a concern - because people are afraid of privacy and confidentiality of patients. Debra spoke of how the principle of privacy is not different to previous information platforms (such as handwritten notes). She spoke of the regulation of social media use in the healthcare industry to prevent privacy leaks.

Another topic discussed was breaking down the hierarchy between doctors and patients, in the form of a twitter discussion where doctors, patients, researchers and anyone else who is interested in the subject matter can take part.

Natasha posed a question on Twitter and the program about whether hospitals would respond well to negative feedback left by patients via social media. (Barwon Health is one of the healthcare providers leading the way in social media - being open and transparent and also managing risks through the use of their Facebook page.) I responded to her tweet by saying "I attend hospital so much that I am afraid to blog negatively because I need the care of doctors and nurses."

So just as I take care to use social media responsibly by not writing about my work or being seen as representing it online (note the new disclaimer on the side of my blog, on advice from my work's ethics department), I also take care to blog (and tweet and Facebook, and even speak on No Limits) responsibly about the healthcare I receive.

Social media is a great platform to voice opinions - good and bad - about products and services. The case that comes to mind about my voicing my dissatisfaction of a service was when a woman told me to get out of her store because she thought my face would ruin her clothes. I outed her behaviour and store, wrote the facts, posted a photo and received a lot of online support, especially via Twitter and Facebook - including an opportunity to speak on ABC Local Radio in Albury Wodonga about the power of the internet. I guess it was that moment that I realised the power of blogging, and the support it brings. Back then I was quite fresh to blogging, and didn't consider potential legal ramifications of the situation. I actually raised the case with a number of bodies, who couldn't help me, and so my blog was the best platform to promote awareness, and quite frankly, vent. Would I write something again, if a similar event happened? Yes I would, being careful of course.

But I'd never vent my opinions about a bad experience with a hospital or doctor on my blog or social media. That would be a problem for me and the hospital/doctor to sort out privately. Because I need the hospital in my life, and wouldn't want to sully the good relationship I have with them by writing an angry blog or tweet in the heat of the moment.  I believe that just as healthcare staff need to follow social media and privacy policies, patients who use social media need to be similarly responsible.

Of course, I expect that even when a patient does vent angrily about a bad experience, they'll be seen to with the highest level of professionalism - a doctor or nurse is likely to remain impartial. But I wonder whether that doctor or nurse would be worried about the trust in the relationship being breached further, by another online rant?

I write about going to hospital a lot. The last two times I went to emergency I tweeted about how I hate the smokers out the front (and had the Cancer Council tweet back telling me smokers aren't the major culprits of this, it's the tobacco manufacturers...ummmm??). I do vent privately about experiences I've had - but I'd never vent about an actual or perceived negative experience at the hospital on my blog. Not even something trivial. I don't want to risk it. I need that hospital to keep me well. And I'd hate for a staff member to lose their job over something I've written. I put my name to my blog. My dermatology team know I have a blog. I've discussed how to deal with being seen as an 'expert' of my condition online and being approached for support. They have print outs of my articles in my file. 

When I was in hospital last year, one form of entertainment I made for myself (and others) was to take photos of my meals and post them on Facebook - being a keen amateur food photographer. While I wouldn't joke about the taste/quality of the food (the photos told their own story) my friends would, and my Mum joked to me that soon the hospital would be making me buy my own food! I didn't think it was a danger to share my hospital food on social media because everyone knows what hospital food is like!

Blogging is great for writing about the difficulties in life, and gaining support, especially when you or a family member has a chronic illness or disability. I've certainly used it for this purpose, to tell my own story. But in my opinion, a similar level of professionalism and awareness as healthcare staff should be used by patients when writing about the treatment they received. You're not invisible on social media. Even if you blog anonymously or only use your first name, or don't identify the hospital or doctor, you have a presence that will be noticed. By all means, don't gush if there's no need to. And raise your concerns with the hospital, in private.

But don't run the staff down who are doing their job to make you well. Even  if you don't agree with them. Information on social media spreads like wildfire. And reputations are ruined quickly.

Post script: I have a great dermatology team at the Royal Melbourne Hospital. I think we have a good relationship, and I am very open with them about the service I receive. Of course, going to hospital as an in and out-patient comes with its challenges, and I've experienced a few.

What are your thoughts? Should you be using social media to vent about bad healthcare service?

I think this is turning into a food blog.

Since I downloaded Instagram, I've become a bit obsessed with taking photos of most meals I cook, buy and eat. I tend only to take photos of cafe breakfasts or if I cook them on the weekends. I just don't have time to set up a photo of my weekly breakfast - plus my daily smoothie/oats/ fruit yoghurt muesli is pretty boring. And my work lunches are mostly left overs so it's rare for me to photograph those.

Food gives me so much pleasure - the cooking, the browsing, the sharing. And photographing food helps me remember those good times. For those wondering, I create frames for my photos with an app called Diptic.

Here's what I've eaten in this past week. Enjoy this food porn.

Last Sunday dinner, home cooked. Macaroni and vegetable cheese - cauliflower, orange pepper, squash, zucchini, kale, green chilli, feta and tasty cheeses, béchamel sauce and wholemeal pasta - plus ginger beer. It was a hot night so ginger beer was really refreshing. My Dad gave me that cow plate when I moved to Melbourne. I love it.

Weeknight dinner: home made baked cannelini beans with tomato, capsicum, garlic and red chilli, topped with goats cheese. This would have made for a great breakfast too.

 

Crayfish from the Victoria Market night market on Wednesday night. Jess, my friend and social media consultant extraordinaire, went to the final night market of the summer, after work. I also ate some pork crackling (it came in a cup, but it was very salty and chewy and I felt guilty about the fat content so I only ate four pieces) and Jess and I both had corn fritters which I wasn't impressed with. This cray was fantastic - lots of meat and really sweet and juicy.

 

Lemon and chocolate-raspberry cakes from The The Premises. I had been recommended The Premises by Jentopia and yesterday was the second time I went for breakfast. Last time I went I had the French toast with meringue (really good!). Yesterday I had eggs on toast with smoked salmon. It was average, and to be honest, I think it's pretty pricey compared to The Auction Rooms and Three Bags Full. As I paid, I was tempted by the cabinet of cupcakes, and chose two to take to Steph's house for morning tea. The lemon cupcake had glitter on top, which made it even more appealing. Steph and I said as we've become older, we prefer fruity cakes over chocolate cakes. We cut the cakes in half so we could sample each flavour. "I don't want this lemon cake to end" Steph said. I agreed. The cake was so full of lovely lemony flavour, and was rich and dense and I think there was a dollop of lemon curd in the middle. So. Good. The chocolate-raspberry one was good, too, but the lemon stole my heart.

 

Contrary to what it seems, I don't eat regular meals on the weekend. I eat brunch at around 1030 am and then don't eat until dinner. Last night I was starving, though at 5 pm, it was hospital/old person's time to eat dinner. So while dinner was in the oven, I made a platter of goat's curd brie (if you haven't tried this, make sure you do - lots of bite, but soft like traditional brie), hot salami, chilli olives and peach. I had a bottle of elderflower cider - I had hoped it tasted more elderflowery, less cidery, but not the case. Maybe I will need to mix elderflower cordial with plain cider?

 

Saturday night's dinner was inspired by BabyMac - her blog is full of amazing meals and beautiful interiors and cute children - though I varied the recipe a little. It is chicken pieces baked with garlic, onion, tomato, chorizo and sweet potato, and seasoned with olive oil, lemon zest, oregano and chilli flakes. It was really good, and there's plenty left over for tomorrow' lunch.

 

I went to the farmer's market yesterday morning. I love the farmer's market, especially the barbeque breakfast. I had already done my shopping, so didn't buy much produce other than grapes and capsicum. I bought a mini cupcake from Play Lunch - they had a huge range of intricately decorated and flavoured cupcakes. I bought a cookie dough cupcake, topped with real cookie dough. So yummy. I loved the animal cakes, and I asked if I could photograph the gift box. The condiments list is what I had on my poached egg and polenta - featured in the bottom right (the best value breakfast in Melbourne I think - so tasty and healthy). And the grapes are lovely too!

I bought a sausage roll for a late lunch. God it was good. Turkey and pork mince, with lots of seasoning and cranberries. The pastry was light and flaky. I could eat these often! I am not sure of the company who makes them - next time I will take note.

Finally - last night's dinner - salad of roast chicken, tomato and pine nuts with spinach, grapes, corn off the cob and fresh chilli, seasoned with lemon, oil and balsamic, topped with sheep's cheese. It was fantastic! I kept the chicken bones to make into a stock this week. I may start a catering company. I love food.

Love the skin you're in. Love the skin others are in.

"I couldn't possibly handle looking like you. You look hideous."
~ Stranger in lift.

I wrote and helped direct that video for No Limits. It's a true story, only reversed, hopefully to show just how jaw-droppingly blunt people are about appearance. I wrote a little about that video here, last year.

When you look this different, it's as though you are public property for people to comment on and criticise, and say exactly what they think, no matter how insulting. I imagine it's a little like being pregnant - people commenting and dishing out advice willy nilly, though I don't get strangers coming to touch my tummy.

These past few weeks I've had a lot of discussions and spent much time thinking about being different. I've spoken about it in radio interviews on Light FM and The ABC, to the Centre for Appearance Research staff and Scope, and written it in a speech proposal.

And I've concluded that it's often other people who have more of a problem with how I look than I do. And people make assumptions, that those who look less fortunate' than them are leading less fulfilled lives. This has to change.

I reflected on appearance and assumptions when I wrote my speech proposal for the UK. I am completely happy with my looks. Happy with my height, shape and size, like my curls, and love my fingernails, smile and boobs. To use the word even would be counterproductive, but for the sake of this piece, I am even happy with my face.

Yet people assume that I'm not comfortable with having my photo taken (and at times, have not been comfortable with appearing in a photo with me). They assume that looking the way I do is a burden (forgetting that the burden is actually the pain of the condition) and that I may not be achieving all that I am. And as you know, I am so very happy with life and all that I've done so far.

I happened to come across a conversation about my Roxette review earlier this week. Instead of discussing the concert and my experience, they discussed my appearance, making all sorts of assumptions. That I am burnt. That I was courageous (for meeting the band/living life??). And that I shouldn't be ashamed of the way I look. It was laughable. While I am sure it was said with good intention, I laughed that the conversation did not reflect so much on my appearance, but society's perception of normal and the level of comfort people feel when faced with difference.

My friend Elvira, also on No Limits, is stunningly beautiful, inside and out. She has spinal muscular atrophy and is in a wheelchair.

 

She thinks that there is a tendency for people to expect something different to what she presents when they see her.  "I think it can be a strange mix or both in particular when an individual sees me in my wheelchair from behind and then they get to see the rest of me. I can actually speak and interact with confidence which throws a lot of people off - in a good way, I guess?"

Elvira used to be overweight and in the past few years, lost a lot of weight. She believes when she was overweight, people may not have paid her as much attention because of her appearance, but it was also to do with her self esteem and attitude. "I was far more happy to sit back and slip under the radar and naturally did. I was very much the invisible girl on wheels", she says.

She speaks of the way people can assume those with disabilities have lives that are lacking.
"I think there is an expectation that when an individuals ability is limited in one area, that is mirrored in all other areas of their life."

She, like I, also believe in the importance of taking pride in our appearance, to make ourselves feel good. "I do however also believe that a lucky gene pool isn't the answer. This may be a generalisation but I think many people that rely on carers and use of mobility aides fail to take as much pride in their appearance. It may be harder and not as easy but there are ways around it and I think people forget to realise that it's about making an effort for you and not necessarily onlookers and critics" Elvira says.

I love dressing up, and it plays a big part in making me feel good. And as I once wrote, I think taking pride in my appearance helps to change peoples' perceptions of me. But I also think (although there may be a level of concern in peoples' reactions to appearance) people need to mind their own business about how others look, stop making assumptions and taking pity. Love the skin you're in, and love the skin others are in too.

PS: I wanted to take part in Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade meme from last week, but I'm too late, and have taken my angry pants off. The theme was Sorry. I still have a few things to say on Sorry though. All tongue in cheek. Sort of.

• I am (not) sorry that my metabolism is faster than yours.No need to point out your jealousy.
• I am (not) sorry that I am more comfortable with my appearance than you are, despite.
• I am (not) sorry that I'm not what you expected. 

Callan Mulvey's wife reads my blog! Some wedding photos.

I always wonder who reads my blog. When I look at the google statistics and keywords I wonder why someone was thinking of me enough to google me. Once someone googled 'what does Carly Findlay look like naked?' at 3 am. I thought I'd hit the big time. My Mum said to me (and the doctor because we were discussing my blog in the emergency ward) that the googler was probably drunk. Because according to my Mum, apparently someone will only think of me naked when they're drunk and it's 3 am. (I look hot naked, in case anyone is wondering. It'll save you a google.)

I digress. I am always excited when readers reveal themselves.

I was walking down the street one day with a colleague when someone stopped me mid tram track to say 'great blog'. Recently I had a lady in the lift at work ask me for my autograph because she's watched me on TV and reads my blog. I had to laugh!

So about month ago when I got an email through my comment form from someone called Rachel Mulvey I was equal parts excited and nervous. As some of you may know one of my idols is Callan Mulvey, the Australian actor in Rush and Underbelly. I've met him at the season 2 premiere of Rush, filming, at the season 3 premiere of Rush, and at the Logies. And he wrote me a letter.

Rachel Mulvey is Callan's wife.

Oh my gosh!, I thought. Callan's wife knows there's another woman out there who admires him almost as much as she does. And I worried she may have seen a picture of me kissing the TV screen when I had that Rush themed birthday party and I had to kiss the nearest man in the room - Callan in character as Sgt Brendan Joshua.

Her email was really nice - very complimentary. She said she has been reading my blog (and Callan has too!) and wanted to send me a message of thanks for my support and admiration, and offer me some photos. We've been emailing for a few weeks now.

Callan actually found my blog and told Rachel about it through my post about their wedding. She has been kind enough to send me some good quality pictures of the wedding and given me permission to share them on my blog. So here they are :)

I am incredibly grateful and lucky for her to take the time to email me and give me a little insight into their lives. She's passed on a few messages from Callan too, and he seems the loveliest. I am so looking forward to seeing Brothers in Arms this year - it's coming soon I think.

Blogging. You never know just who might be reading. Wow.

And it turns out we both like Callan looking long haired and scruffy! ;)

Roxette - live at Rod Laver Arena

Roxette
Rod Laver Arena Melbourne
22 February 2012
Concert and meet and greet

I was incredibly excited to win tickets to see Roxette and meet them last night. My friend Joel and I (you may remember Joel from when he rubbed nipples with Steve Poltz way back in January last year) had dinner (Mexican) and drinks (Sangria) at the night markets and then excitedly made the walk to Rod Laver Arena.

On the way we saw a bagpipe playing bird - Joel posed for photos - and this set the scene for a fun night ahead.

Before the meet and greet, I bought a program, and then we waited for the tour representative to fetch us and the other winners to enter the stadium.

One of the reasons I have been slow in posting this review is because I wasn't sure how I would write about the meet and greet without sounding resentful. I'll try my best. The chance to meet Roxette was an amazing opportunity. They're a huge band. The meet and greet was very brief, and very impersonal. I understand that there were time constraints and they were there to perform a show. But there were only 10 of us there to meet them, and some of the people seemed like HUGE fans. Two members of the Roxette crew advised us that we were only able to have one item signed, and that we weren't able to take individual photos with the band or of the meeting. When we did take photos, we weren't allowed to have flashes on. Someone volunteered their camera for the crew to take some candid shots and one group shot at the end. That person will email the pictures around the group. I have not yet received these pictures, I hope to soon.

We waited around 15 minutes to meet the band as we waited in the corridor then the green room. We were all really excited - I know I'd been counting down the days.

When they entered the greenroom, it was an exciting moment. I met Per Gessle first. Here's the only photo Joel took on his phone - I ran it through Instagram and like it this way.

 

I said hello and he signed my CD cover. That was it really. It was so quick that I don't remember what else I said to him or what he said to me, other than hello. He was very happy and smiley.

Before I met  Marie Fredrieksson I took a couple of photos, but they're not that great I am sorry. 

Marie had the nicest leather jacket on that I've ever seen. Soft white, with a Beatles tee underneath. She is tiny. I said hello, gave her the blog post I wrote about Crash Boom Bang, and she signed my program. I asked for a quick photo - looking at the camera - as Joel was there posed with my camera, but she said we'd take one at the end. 

And I managed to get this one of Joel and Marie, but very little of them on screen! 

And that was that. They were both so nice, and I am really grateful for the wonderful opportunity, but I wished it was a little longer.

Unfortunately we missed the support act 1927, but we heard them sing their biggest hit If I Could. A lot of the women at the meet and greet said they wish they could have seen 1927!

Our seats were great - all the meet and greet winners were in Row H on the floor.

The concert was amazing. Really! Roxette have bgeen a band that I've loved for a long time but thought I'd never see. They played all their hits - a very extensive catalogue - plus some new songs.

The show opened with Dressed for Success and continued with Fading Like A Flower, Spending My Time, Almost Unreal, Sleeping in My Car, Joyride (where bouncy balls were released, see my picture above!), Listen To Your Heart, Dangerous and more, ending with The Look. 

Despite the song with the sad lyrics, Per was happy all the time. At times it reminded me of a Eurovision concert, in a good way. It was fun! He danced around the stage, smiling and playing guitar. And he could sing!

Marie's voice wowed me. So very powerful. She seemed to have limited movement, perhaps due to illness in 2002, but she gave it her all.

The best bit - like the Cold Chisel concert - was that we all sang along. The audience sounded amazing.

One of the guitarists did a solo of Waltzing Matilda, which was Joel's favourite part. My favourite was Crash Boom Bang, which I recorded.

It was a really fun night. As I wrote, the opportunity to meet the band was fantastic, I only wish it was longer and more personal. Thanks so much to Mix FM for the tickets.