28 May 2010

Rest in peace Toby dog

It's strange, things have not registered yet. My parents have told me that my beautiful dog (pet by distance) Toby died tonight. I feel empty but not emotional. I feel like I should be feeling more.

Toby died suddenly. They are not sure why he died, but pining because of Jazzy's death in March may have had something to do with it. As much as Jazzy annoyed him through being boisterous, they loved each other so much.

Toby would turn 10 on 9 December, the day after my birthday. When we got him, my friend Lucy was down to stay and I was at work. Lucy went with my parents to pick him up. He was such a naughty puppy! I remember one day when he was a baby, I came home from uni feeling a bit hung over after a big night out, let him out of his run, and I went to nap. He pulled all the washing off the line and was proudly sitting in the sheets. I couldn't be mad at him because he was so cute.

Another funny thing was although he is a water dog, he is such a fraidy cat around water. He will go around a soaker hose instead of stepping over it because he did't want to get wet!

I had a nice play with Toby at Easter. He was lost without Jazz but he relished the one on one attention. He carefully chose his toys in toy bucket. He was very particular. He knew he wanted his pink squeaker. Not the frisbee, not the treat ball, just his squeaker. We played squeaker for ages on the lawn. He was bounding and snuggling like he did when he was a baby.

He was also getting bones daily. Not just for special treats like when Jazzy was alive. Daily! All his Christmases came at once.

I was really proud when he started taking treats directly from my hand. He was always so wary of people feeding him. I tried to sneak him extra because Jazzy would always steal his. Once, Mum fed them their worm tablets and Toby was too slow in taking it so Jazz ate his!

Mum said he caught two rabbits these past few days. I said to her this morning he would have been glad not to have had to share them with Jazz. Jazz would walk around with a rabbit head for days, and rub it against your legs - yuck! I hope Toby enjoyed his last two rabbits.

Even though Toby and Jazz are my pets by distance, I love them like they lived with me. Mum and Dad, and me when I lived at home, gave the dogs the best life a dog can have. They loved it at home, and gave us so much love and joy.

I can't remember when we didn't have a dog. We've had one or more almost constantly since 1990, minus five months between Meg's death in 2000 and getting Toby in 2001. Having a pet is like having a child. They idolise you - and there's not even that period in their life when you're embarrassing to them like with a teenager. They love you forever, and need you for all of their life. I am amazed about the love shown by them when they look into your eyes. And how perceptive they are - they know what you're saying, and they'll always listen. I feel for my parents now because they've lost another child.

We called Toby 'Toto' - like on the Wizard of Oz. The name 'Toto' probably didn't suit him because he was a big dog, not at all dainty. But I think Toto will be sniffing out bones (or 'boe-boes' as we called them) along the yellow brick road forever - probably trying to guard his bones from Jazz!

Rest in peace Toby, I love you.

Edit - Lucy has reminded me - he would get so excited he would do a wee! I also remember a friend came to visit and Toby was so excited he jumped through the fly screen, tearing it off the door frame!


  1. Hi Carly
    So sorry to hear about Toby.

    Don't know if you're up to it but I tagged you for a meme on my blog.

    Would love to read a response when you've got the time and feel up to it.

    Take care

    SSG xxx

  2. Such terribly sad news :(

    Shock is normal, don't worry about how you 'should' be feeling because there are no shoulds when it comes to dealing with loss, however you handle it is your way and that's fine, the feelings will come in time.

    Hope you are ok. Wish I could offer more than cyber hugs xxoo

  3. Oh am so sad to hear the sad news about Toby's death and so soon really after Jazzy... Thinking of you and your family, Carly.. you are so right though - dogs do LOVE you unconditionally and certainly do not go through that stage when they are 'teenage dogs' and think their parents are embarassing. x

  4. So sorry Carly, your memories made me smile. ♥

  5. Dear Carly,
    So sorry for the loss of dear Toby. You really encapsulated how I feel about the love a dog has for its human family.
    Take care

  6. Sorry for your loss Carly. He sounds like he had a great life though. RIP Toby.

  7. Carly I am so, so sorry to read of your loss hun :(
    Our pets are truly family members, aren't they? Their loss always hits so hard. I really hope you are doing ok. Thinking of you

  8. Hi girl:)
    Hope you are oki?
    I am thinking of you:)

    Have a great day - SP

  9. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you.

  10. Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!
    My Toby will miss yours :(
    We will be thinking of you,

    Rudy's Raiser

  11. So sad Carly, for you your Mum Dad and me. I still get tears when I think of Jazz and now Toby, its just gut wrenching. It's hard to cope with the hurt some days. We have to be positive (easy for me to say, and hard for me to do) Toby and Jazz had a great life with your Mum and Dad. I know now that giving up Jazz was the right decision I made for her. She needed plenty of room to run around and she was so strong, she knocked me over a few times, fortunately did not harm the spinal fusion I had a few years earlier. Toby and Jazz's spirits will be with us forever.
    My arms around you all. I will phone your Mum and Dad when I stop crying.
    My thoughts are with you all.
    Love from Bronwen

  12. Taking a break from the computer for awhile and just now reading this. So very sorry to hear of your loss, especially so soon after the loss of Jazz. Sending my deepest condolences, warm thoughts, and big hugs to you and your Mum and Dad.


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