26 October 2010

Music I've been missing for the one I've been missing.

I didn't have a completely bad day. I had a great lunch with an old friend I haven't seen since I went to uni the first time around. We covered so much in the hour - just by chance I bumped into him last week and we sat and talked today. It was fun.

But I feel flat. I wonder when this sadness and longing will pass. It wasn't a break up I went through, I don't know what it was. I fell so quickly, and then, nothing.

I'm trying, with all my might, not to. Not to call, not to text, not to think, not to remember. I'm achieving 50 percent so far.

I don't know whether I've found solace in these sad songs, or whether they make me sadder. Like sad movies, I enjoy sad songs. These songs are the music I've been missing.

On a side note, I'd never seen Sinead O'Connor with hair until last week.

I am done talking about things. But haven't processed things in my own head. I haven't loved many, but I hate that I have the ability to fall in love so easily.

That Roxette song is is eerily fitting, in many ways.

Two months ago, I wasn't thinking about anyone significant. Now my heart feels like it's a construction site.

At times I don't feel like anyone understands just why I am so upset, and why I felt love. People care, they offer advice, quick to tell me to forget about things and move on.

I wish I could just fast forward through to a time that isn't right now. To a time when my head is clear and my heart is light.

I can think of a few reasons why I am upset and felt love, but they are so hard to articulate right now.

I really miss you. Really. So very much.


  1. have you got some jeff buckley? he will fit right in that bunch of warblers you've got up there. in the past when i've felt heartache, i've put old jeff on and climbed under the blankets.

  2. I'm a big fan of Alanis Morrisette, Jagged Little Pill - play it loud and sing at the top of your lungs.

  3. Have you heard the Stereophonics cover of Nothing Compares to You? So good.
    This one also finds its way onto my stereo if I'm feeling a bit blue... not that it's inherently sad, but the way she sings it is beautiful:

  4. thinking of you! i hate men at the moment. its a sad feeling, missing someone but you can't even contact them you just have to let go.. worst!! hope you're ok darling girl. x

  5. I hope you're ok Miss Carly. I've just returned to blogging (a bit) and in the time I've been away I've felt a bit the way you feel now.

    I'm upset because I saw a future with my now ex, and I'm grieving the loss of that. Getting over someone you love isn't easy.

    I hope you feel better soon Carly.

  6. Carly I am so sorry you have been feeling down.. it's hard. Very. And only time will heal eventually. Just wanted to say how nice it was to meet you this evening. X

  7. Thank you for all of your kind comments :) And song suggestions.
    I have heard Matchbox 20's Nothing Compares 2U but not Stereophonics.
    Will look up Jeff Buckley.
    And Alanis is a trusty source of angry music.
    Cathy - I hope you feel better soon. Glad to see you back.

    Thanks everyone, it means a lot xx


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