22 February 2010

On the improve :)

Hello!

I am feeling heaps better than Friday :) Though my body seems to go through a cycle everytime I go to hospital (even if this stay was so short!) and my skin still isn't at its best, I am pleased with my improvement. I survived the hot weekend, I got through a day at work today and I have cleaned the house.

Although I went to work today with my face feeling really good, and so I was more confident looking at the world, I felt pretty terrible inside. I know I get dangerously close to making this a medical/illness/skin related blog sometimes, which I don't want to do, so I'll be brief in my medical talk. My dad once said to me that it's funny that every day he asks me how my skin is. That skin should be such a big topic of conversation. I guess sometimes I feel defined by my skin because it is such a talking point, but I try not to let it define me.

Anyhow.

The antibiotics prescribed are much stronger than the ones I usually take. They make me feel so nauseous. I have painkillers that also make me feel this way, and honestly, I would rather put up with the pain than feel nauseous. I hate it. So this afternoon from about 1:45 pm until about 6:00 pm I felt like I was on the boat to Tasmania again. Really really shitty. But hey, my skin looked better than it did on Friday!

It's unlike me to go without food, but the only food I've eaten tonight is a piece of dry wholegrain spelt bread, and a cup of hot water mixed with a teaspoon of vegetable stock. And I just took the last antibiotics for the day so I ate a small piece of cheese afterward. I'm not even hungry, but I'm dreading the nausea tonight :/

On a brighter note, I know you'll all be envious at the rate my skin is regenerating - you can say since Friday I have rejuvenated to the point of that woman in the Silverchair Freak video. That's right - I don't pay for chemical peels and botox - my youthful looks are all in the genes and the vaseline.

Since I've had this blog I've 'met' so many lovely readers and received great comments. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to read my last post about the hospital trip. Thank you especially to those who left kind words of support and admiration. For me to be myself through this blog (and there are rarely instances nowadays when I'm not myself, but I have always been wary of revealing the true me online) and to have so many strangers and friends read my writing to see parts of me that many will never see and still accept me feels pretty amazing.

What I have been amazed at is the comments I've received on this blog (and also in real life) about the way my openness and honesty in the way I tell my story has made others ore confident to be more open and honest and to share their stories too. That is a big compliment.

Melanie in the UK and I 'met' years ago because we both used the Savage Garden forums. It turns out Darren Hayes fans in Australia were mistaking me for Melmo (Melanie's nickname) and would ask me if I was her. I often wondered why they asked. Somehow we got talking a few years into the future and she told me that she too had ichthyosis. And that is why I was mistaken for her? Anyhow, Melanie has started a blog too and she told me she now feels more comfortable discussing her condition because of my blog. Check her blog out, she writes really well, and she has great taste in music ;)

I've had a few offers and instances of real life help too these past few days which has been so lovely and reminded me of the great friends I have.

Thank you everyone for your care and concern. Your kindness really means a lot.

Tomorrow I have orientation at uni. I am excited and nervous about this coming year. It will be difficult and challenging and at times frustrating (just like every other semester, really) but I know I am going to enjoy it, especially seeing it's my final semester of my Masters. I love learning and I know I will enjoy researching and writing about my chosen topic.

Today I emailed the guy in charge of this semester's subject. I articulated the topic for my thesis in the email. It felt good to do this. Especially at the start of the semester. Sometimes I've gone through the whole semester just winging it. I felt good knowing that maybe I'll be flying toward a clear goal early on, rather than scrambling to make it at the end.

I was thinking, as a journal for my thesis, I might start another blog, devoted solely to that. Because the plan for my thesis topic is around Web 2.0, I may as well demonstrate my use of it. I'm not sure yet, but maybe it will help to articulate my thoughts and get some different perspectives. I will keep you posted.

It is almost bedtime. I am listening to old school Silverchair (Neon Ballroom period) before I sleep. I wish you a happy Tuesday :)

14 comments:

  1. Hate feeling nauseous. At least if it's alcohol induced, there is a light at the end of that tunnel.

    I am sorry such a shitty thing has happened to such a warm, kind and cool chick. I know that does zero to change things, but I just am. Keep up the blogging, I lubs it :)

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  2. Carly it's great to hear that you are doing better. My love and best wishes go out to you.

    Be strong, I hope you receive all the good things you deserve.

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  3. Hi Carly
    Yay for you! So glad you are feeling better.

    Best of luck with the thesis.

    There is nothing like listening to The Chair for strength and inspiration.

    xxxx

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  4. Thank you everyone :)

    Bern - thanks so much for the compliment. Your blog is an awesome read, so I really appreciate your kind words about mine :)

    Brea - thanks heaps, and thanks for the lovely comment on the previous post.

    Sydney Shop Girl - I like Silverchair's old stuff better than their new stuff. My love for their music is very specific. It starts at Freakshow and stops at Diorama. I think Daniel looked his best in this period (despite his unfortunate illnesses) and their music was the most imaginative and beautiful.

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  5. Excellent news that you are feeling better! and well done for cleaning the house- mess is the devil's work.x

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  6. wow i just read your hospital post.
    you are one strong lady
    i dont handle needles well either or pain.
    the jacket is so cute!
    hope things get better soon.

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  7. Am glad to hear you are feeling better.
    I just wanted to express how great it is that someone else feels they can open up about their condition because of your blog.
    I suffer from mental health issues and always wish I could open up about it to other people and eventually hope to be able to talk freely about it with others so that they and myself can feel more comfortable.
    I think your blog is truly inspirational.
    x

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  8. So pleased to read you are feeling a little better now... and the bear jacket looks so cute on you! xXx

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  9. Hi Carly,

    I always read your blog... first time I've commented though!

    I empathise with you a lot- I have an ongoing medical condition that means lots of pain, hospital and time off etc. And not many people know about it either!

    Anyway I just wanted to say I like your blog- I keep thinking I'll run into you around Melbourne one day and I promise to say hi.

    Handfootwoman (from vogue)

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  10. Hi Carly,

    Hope all the big meds are working and that you are on the mend. Our little Evan was in the hospital for six weeks at birth. That was 4 1/2 years ago and I am still getting over it. Luckily, he doesn't remember it.

    Living with ichthyosis is so incredibly challenging. Thank you for writing about it and thank you for continuing to inspire me with your enthusiasm for life and your candor about living with ichthyosis. Love and good wishes to you from Maine, USA.
    Kimberly

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  11. Ahhh, Silverchair, Frogstomp will always be the 'old school' to me, I had that on cassette tape and used to listen to it on my walkman. lol.

    Love your blog, honesty and resilience. You're a rad apple Carly.

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  12. Glad you're feeling much better Carly, but hope the nausea wears off soon.

    Thanks for the mention too by the way, I'm very flattered and appreciate it :-) I didn't realise though that you got mistaken for me back then lol And yeah, we do have great taste in music don't we?! lol ;-)

    By the way, your sense of humour is awesome :-) I'm off to read your most recent blog - the one about Darren and live music.... All the best with your Uni work too by the way ;-)

    Bye for now

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  13. Happy to hear you are feeling better and hope the nausea has passed by now. Treat yourself to something yummy!

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  14. Ruby's Raiser - the nausea has subsided and I had a McDonalds quarter pounder tonight!

    Twink - no problem about the mention of your blog :) Thanks for the compliment about my sense of humour.

    Mez - Silverchair's old stuff is so much better than their new Young Modern stuff. Thanks for calling me a rad apple :) So are you.

    FF - My mum will be pleased you're telling me mess is the devil's work!

    Cotton Socks - needles are horrible and if you ever find anyway to get over the fear and the pain, please tell me.

    Pepper and baxter - thank you so much for the kind words about my blog. I am glad my honesty can help you, and I hope one day you can feel confident enough to open up to others. You've got a lovely blog and I look forward to getting to know you better.

    Semi Expat - thanks for your wishes for me and the bear jacket :)

    Handfootwoman - glad you stopped by to say hi, and one day if we bump into each other in Melbourne, definitely say hi! I hope you're doing ok with your illness - I hope it's not too difficult for you:)

    Kimberly - your poor little Evan. Hope he is soldiering on now. Also hope my writing helps you and your family feel more confident about ichthyosis.

    I think I've got you all :) I am so overwhelmed with your kind comments, and flattered that I am helping and inspiring you to open up. Thank you.

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Thank you for reading my blog. I love receiving comments :)
I really appreciate the time you've taken to write to me, and to share something about yourself.

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