But I only want to go back to one place - my childhood between the ages of around four to 18.
I want to tell my younger self that my life is going to be ok. That I am going to be someone. Someone more than the bullies told me I'd be and the doubters expected of me. That I will be more than they ever could.
I want to tell my younger self that looks aren't everything. That I will influence people through just being myself. That I don't have to change. That people will love me for me.
I want to tell my younger self that this illness isn't doomsday. That a suicidal thought shouldn't be an option. That I will use my experiences to help people. And that I'll lead a pretty good life. I'll have fun and see bands and write and cook and have lots of friends and shop a lot.
I want to tell my younger self that I will find someone who loves me - maybe more than one someone, and even if he is a douchebag, even if I'm still single aged 29, someone will look past my illness and see beauty.
I want to tell my younger self that I will be a success. Even though I've never been chosen to lead anything by my school peers, I will be a leader. I will have a good job, live independently, be tertiary qualified, receive awards and I will be a published and respected writer.
That's the time I'd travel back to. 1985 to 1999. Not to experience those things again, but to tell my younger self that I'm worthy.
I'm speechless.
ReplyDeleteAnd have goosebumps.
I have just read your blog, Carly. It's very moving. You are an inspiration to many, I suspect:-)
ReplyDeleteHave you thought of going to schools to talk about your illness and perhaps touch others in the school community who need to be told those things you wanted to tell your younger self??
Carly
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful post.
SSG xxx
Sydney Shop Girl blog
Wow Carly, I'm with Chook - speechless. (lucky you're the writer, not me!).
ReplyDeleteI have tears, Carly. This post is so beautiful. So so beautiful. You're a gem.
ReplyDeleteHeidi xo
Carly, you are an inspiration to all of us. Rest assured that your strength of character will serve to inspire other young women who might be feeling overwhelmed, by showing them that life can indeed turn out unexpectedly fabulously.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes, Poppy xox
I like what they^ all said.
ReplyDeleteI'd go back to my younger self too, and tell her to pay attention in school, to actually learn something, then when school leaving age was reached, to fight to stay in school instead of just doing what I was told to and leaving at 15.
I would tell my younger self those exact same things. And finish with 'You will be happy, mostly. Even when things aren't fun, you will be happy.'
ReplyDeleteOh Carly... that was beautiful, it made me get a little teary. xox
ReplyDeleteCarly, I've been avidly reading your blog for a few months now, but this post in particular really resonated with me. I have Asperger's Syndrome and so wish that I could tell my younger self many of these same things.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being such an inspiration :)
J.
Hi
ReplyDeleteYou dont know me... But sometimes i see you around... I wanted to tell you that i think you are pretty.. And i especially like how well put together you are. I liked the cute (mimco?) headband you wore today. Beauty is subjective.. And true beauty is who you are as a person.
Plwas
wow, Carly, great post, I think we all wish we could travel back sometimes!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post Carly - I hope your younger self would listen to you. I also suspect that the hardship you lived and fought through made you the strong independent person you are today. I don't know if that helps. Thanks for joining in. x
ReplyDeleteOh wow, this is amazing. I'd love to do the same thing actually, and just let myself know that in the future I am ok with being me.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful & powerful. (As I've come to expect from you and your posts! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI love the truth in this.... very exposing....
ReplyDeleteCarly, what I love about your posts are that I can actually see you saying, doing all the things you write about. You are so beautifully 'transparent'. You are pretty awesome and someone I would love to have as a real friend! x
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post, Carly. I'm so jealous of your confidence and self-assuredness. I wish I were half as brave as you! This is only the start of the wonderful things you're going to accomplish!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Carly! I think we all would like to re-visit childhood for a do-over. And not to worry about the guy thing - I didn't meet my hub until I was 36!
ReplyDeleteWe could all benefit from going back and reassuring our scared, little self that things will be okay. Your post is very inspiring. And, you are brave to go back and reassure your younger self about the future! Time travel can be useful, then!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this regarding my anxiety and depression issues - I would love to tell my younger self that I'm still doing ok at 35.
ReplyDeleteAhh. Time travel. If only..