27 March 2011

Cows with guns - the milk wars.

While my ethical and financial consciences warred over the Coles milk wars post supermarket trip, I saw an arms and militaria fair in my neighbourhood. Hah!
Right next to the supermarket. War all around.
For the uninitiated, the milk wars are the big supermarkets reducing the price of the staple grocery products, and not supporting the producers. First milk, then bread, then olive oil, now beer. And these annoying ads. Count yourself lucky I didn't post the ad with the singing.
I felt guilty for not going to my local grocer. But today I needed garbage bags and cotton buds, which my grocer does not stock. I wondered if the milk wars have been ethical panic created by the media. And I then remembered I was once employed by the Coles group, and so I needed to support the hand that once provided for the good times I had at uni: Bands in Melbourne. Lots of clothes from, God forbid, Westco. And a few Vodka Cruisers.
I seriously thought about my actions in Coles too much, fearing my conscience would be punished by my ultimate fear - a farmer squirting milk on me. I hate the thought of milk touching me.
I divided my purchases into Coles and non Coles brands. 
Lots of non Coles brands. Hurrah!
Only three Coles branded items. Good work. But three plastic bags. I'm going to milk squirting hell.
Overall my ethical and financial consciences were clear. Mostly because I didn't attend the arms and militaria fair.
This song came into my head. Irony. Cows with guns.
Now that I've rationalised my participation in the milk wars, I am wondering why I am being brainwashed further by tabloid media (ahem - Sunday night shit on Australian TV). If I saved my first kiss for my wedding day, it'd never happen. Nor will marrying a $100 million man. God why am I watching this tabloid shit?
The big issues people. The big issues.


  1. I love that song. My husband sings it all the time :) Just to clarify, the cows with guns song, not the jingle!

  2. As you often do anyway, support your local grocer!

  3. Don't feel too bad about spending money on Westco clothes - in my youth I actually worked for them! Cows with Guns is a hilarious song, and one that really suits the milk wars situation.

  4. "Down, down, prices are down!" God, I hate those stupid Coles ads. Especially the "We all eat tuna" one. Mostly because I'm all "*I* DON'T! It smells like cat food and makes me gag" when I see that ad...

    Ahem. Good choice on not going to the gun fair. God knows what kind of people hang out there... :S

  5. Glad you all like the Cows with Guns reference.
    I dont like the Coles jingles. Nor the generalisation.

  6. Is that the same Cows with Guns song that came out several years ago aimed at McDonalds burgers? Or a new one about milk?
    I love that burger one, funny, but carrying a message too.
    Good for you choosing only 3 Coles branded items. I work for Coles, and I don't buy many of their branded items either. Especially not the 4 bean mix which I see you've chosen there, because I found it to be awful and went back to the other brand. I do buy their brands where the taste doesn't really matter, like flour, sugar. And their baked beans are just as good as named brands.
    I don't think a gun fair should be held near a supermarket.

  7. Love Cows With Guns, we used to play it on the radio so much, followed by Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens.
    Just to remind people those meat products can bite back lol.

  8. Have loved the Cows with Guns song for many years lol. I would love to support my local grocer but its actually IGA and they are sooooo expensive. So its off to Coles or Woolies for me every week. I too hate all these price wars but with a husband and two growing children i cant afford not to shop there IYKWIM. But I do try and support local business where i can like builders, plumbers etc.

  9. I also loved that song when it came out!

    I feel morally better that you have done all the worrying about this one for me.

    But most of all I am thankful for your not contaminating my brain with 'down down.." and instead I walk away humming "but on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers, came the deafening roar, of chickens in choppers" and now, war or no war, I can walk out of a shopping centre with a smile on my face.
    Thank you ;)


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