There was a bit of talk about getting out of your comfort zone at the Problogger Event. Darren Rowse said “getting out of your comfort zone is when sparks fly”. He talked about the people you meet and the opportunities that arise when you push yourself into doing something you may be a little afraid of, or go somewhere you might not want to go.
I am such a social person – I can be loud, I love meeting new people and I love talking. I enjoy hearing peoples' stories. I like having dinner with people and laughing. I have a diverse range of friends.
But I do crave alone time (it’s the only child/sole dweller in me) and also familiarity. While apparently my personality type is an ENFJ - which means I am an extrovert, I think I'm equal parts extrovert and introvert. Those tests are freakishly accurate, aren't they?! (There was talk of personality types at Problogger, and I just took my test.)
"An ENFJ:
- Prefers harmony to discord
- Outgoing and warm-hearted
- Genuinely interest in the feelings of others
- Often have a diverse range of friends and acquaintances
- Great at supporting and encouraging others
- Excellent organizers
- Seek approval from other people
- Organised and enjoy structure and careful planning.
- Likes sticking to a schedule - this makes them feel in control."
In between sessions at the Problogger Event, I wanted a little time out – some quiet, but also doing the stuff I like to do in every day life. I wanted to get myself into my comfort zone - at least for a few hours. Networking is tiring!
I read books and magazines on the plane, I dabbled my feet in the pool and I hung out with Clare, a friend who I met in New York last year. Clare came to the pre-conference party and we ate and drank at the Stingray Lounge at the QT hotel (great food!), then went back to my apartment for more drinks and icecream (hello Cold Rock cake batter icecream!) and a long overdue giggly chat.
And the next night, Clare and I went to see a band. Doing this sort of thing makes me feel at home, makes me feel like myself. Maybe seeing a band is my equivalent of going to a spa? It was a coincidence that Bob Evans (Kevin Mitchell) was playing on the Gold Coast when I was there. I left the Problogger party early (standing up and drinking at a party isn't really my thing, sitting down and drinking at a band is!), and Clare drove us to the Sound Lounge at Currumbin RSL where Bob Evans was playing. I find it interesting to see how audiences view bands in other places - levels of interest vs talking, camaraderie of fans (the fans here were very friendly and polite), the amount of singing along, and sitting vs standing. The Sound Lounge was a very relaxed venue - apparently Currumbin is not the Gold Coast that most people know.
Drinks were cheap, we sat on cushions on the floor, and I absorbed the music. I only took around three pictures of him playing – which is out of the ordinary for me – and had far more drinks than I usually have a gigs (again, out of the ordinary, because in Melbourne I have to focus on getting myself home safely). It was a fun night! Kevin played a new, yet to be released song with some affirming lyrics that Clare eagerly tweeted: "don't give up on yourself, 'cause you're the reason I get out of bed", and he also played two of my absolute favourites: Hand Me Downs and In Another Time. It was a great show!
Both Kevin and I discussed that we were too dressed up to be at a pub gig! (The patrons at the Sound Lounge were just lucky that I didn't choose the Carmen Miranda style fruit hat as part of my tropical costume for the Problogger party!)
It’s been my life-long dream to go on radio and play my favourite songs, especially Savage Garden - and last Thursday I did it! I was so excited to have been invited onto Are You Looking At Me? on 3CR - it's a conversation show about equality and difference, with conversations about disability and also the music the guests choose to play. The show is hosted by the lovely Liz Wright - she made me feel so comfortable and I could have spoken to her for hours. I think I've made a great new friend. It was a great afternoon having a chat about blogging life and music. I did sing in the studio (mics off) and I did have a cider. Doing the radio interview was ironic given I wrote about conversations that day. Listen to my interview here.
This little collection was really hard to curate. I love so many bands, and all music has had some sort of impact on my life. But alas! I was limited to three songs! I like Australian music and good lyrics - these songs fit that bill.
Savage Garden – To the Moon and Back
Darren Hayes has been the love of my life. I first saw Savage Garden’s I Want You video clip on Rage in August 1996 and loved the look and sound of the band. I made a decision that this is the band I was going to love and follow. To The Moon And Back is probably my favourite Savage Garden song, though I have a big list of favourites by Darren Hayes. I particularly love the acoustic version of the song. I’ve seen Savage Garden live three times – the first time was an under 18s show at the now-bulldozed Palace Theatre in St Kilda in 1997 (for $18!), then twice at Rod Laver Arena in 1998 and 2000. I’ve seen Darren solo lots of times, and met him too. Last time I met him I flew to Sydney to see him at the Enmore. About 30 fans waited for him outside after the show. He had lost his voice so couldn’t talk. When it was finally my chance to meet him, I whispered “I love you Darren” and he said “I love you too, Carly”. Neighbourhood noise restrictions prevented me from squealing loudly, but I was squealing inside! I didn’t only develop a love of Savage Garden’s music – the band brought me passion, excitement, a sense of identity and strong friendship. I love being a fan. I love the rush of energy seeing bands live, of meeting the singers and of collecting information about posters about my idols. I have a whole box of Darren Hayes and Savage Garden stuff, plus 90+ CDs that I asked my parents to save when the bushfires were close to their house.
Bob Evans - Nowhere Without You
I first heard Bob Evans (alter ego of Kevin Mitchell) in 2006 during a difficult part of my life. I had escaped an ongoing confidence-destroying situation in Melbourne for four months - I went back to live with my parents to get myself right again. I hated the regional commercial radio stations and so made the switch to Triple J on my 30 minute drive to work. I'd listen to the breakfast show, loving the variety of music, and one day heard Nowhere Without You by Bob Evans. It was catchy, jingly-jangly, singer-songwritery, and made me drum on the steering wheel. Then I heard Bob Evans was the lead singer of Jebediah - that band I was a bit scared of in my teens. I came to love Jebediah because of Bob Evans (I told Kevin that I was too busy listening to Savage Garden back in the day to become a fan of Jebediah). I've been a big fan of KevBob since 2006 - going to a show on every tour he's done since 2006 (except that small show he did when I was flying from London to Los Angeles last year). Two of my favourite moments at his shows have been when he asked me to hold his lyrics on stage at The Tote, and winning a competition to see him at a tiny show at Spotify HQ in Sydney. We chat on Twitter – it’s great that social media enables this. The line "I just can't make it on my own" resonates with me because it signifies me asking my parents for help again.
Silverchair – Miss You Love
Neon Ballroom was the album that got me into Silverchair. I was finally liking a band that was considered cool! I surprisingly enjoy the dark lyrics, and think the theatrical music is very uplifting. Miss You Love is my favourite song on the album, with Emotion Sickness coming a close second. I once wrote a very long blog post analysing Miss You Love. I listened to Neon Ballroom all through year 12. I spent a lot of time in the library “studying” – actually writing poems about boys I’d fallen in love with on the internet. My poetry was inspired by Silverchair and also Douglas Stewart, the Australian bush poet I had studied in year 11. A strange combination! Miss You Love is such an honest song, looking at the struggles Daniel had coping with fame as a young adult. That line “I love the way you love, but I hate the way I’m supposed to love you back” gets me every time.
I've got so many more songs that have influenced me and hope to play some more on radio one day in the future!
Sometimes I pinch myself about how lucky I am. I love my life. This weekend just gone, I went to Sydney for Healthivate, the health focused blogging conference (so much inspiration, and I will blog about it all soon). The weekend was packed with exciting stuff, so much so, I need a holiday after my holiday. On Friday I saw Bob Evans at Spotify. I won a little competition he ran - five words or less about why we want to see him live. "I'm in Sydney for blogging", I wrote. And then "I'll bring my mum". I'm not great at maths, but I'm good at five words or less.
It seemed like a bad weekend to fly. Due to inclement weather in Sydney and Queensland, many flights were delayed or cancelled. Including mine. On the way up and back. And my Mum's flight from Albury was delayed too (though she had further dramas, with a boom gate closing on her car at the airport parking!). It seemed Friday was a day of delays. My train to the skybus was delayed due to some signal fault, I missed Kevin doing Like a Version on Triple J because the train was stuck in the wasteland of no phone reception, and then when I arrived at the airport with minutes to spare before check in closed, I was told my flight was delayed one hour and 20 minutes! We later found out Kevin's flight was delayed and lengthy too.
When we were finally in the air, we circled a holding pattern for an hour. So I arrived in Sydney three and a half hours after I was due to depart. Sheesh! And it was raining. So much rain. Which, along with our lateness, effectively scrapped our early afternoon plans of popping into the Mama Mia office for a quick hello. So after dropping our stuff at the dodgy motel, getting changed, and waiting for a taxi then a bus in the hideous rain for half an hour, we made it to the Spotify office with enough time to wolf down a delicious pork crackling roll and a well deserved alcoholic drink - at 3.45 pm.
Spotify is a digital music service that allows listeners access to a huge range of songs. I think the music is stored in a cloud? I really want to explore the app now. As I imagined, the office (just new) was very trendy, and its workers equally as trendy. Is it a sign that I am not trendy when I use the word trendy?
The Bob Evans show was the first live Spotify office gig in Australia (Spotify has only been in Australia since May last year). And it was pretty special. There were about 25 people in the room - Spotify staff, music industry people and a few fans. There was wine and canapes and a brilliant fruit platter. What would an event be if I didn't take a food photo?!
Mum and I talked to some great people - music fans, including one girl who saw Nirvana play back in 1992 - this impressed me a lot! It was Mum's first Bob Evans experience and she loved it.
Kevin played five songs: his newest release Go (incredibly beautiful played acoustically, and catchy too), Hand Me Downs (my favourite of favourites), I Just Don't Wanna Grow Up Anymore, Someone So Much (a request from the man who was late) and Don't You Think It's Time (the song that got me into Bob Evans). Some of the audience members I spoke to were impressed with the way Kevin hit the high notes - they described his sound as pitch perfect. I don't know anything about music, other than the enjoyment it provides, so I'll just say that I am continually impressed with how his electronic sounding songs translate so well into acoustic versions. And it was a privilege to see Kevin play such an intimate show.
After the set, we stuck around to talk and drink, and caught Kevin for a quick chat. Mum edged in first - launching in to tell him she was my Mum, and then telling him about the airport boomgate on her car.
I went to say hello, and we had a chat about the plane delays and the difference a gig with lights on makes, and the upcoming conference I was speaking at. And we had photos. Mum told Kevin that I talk about him a lot. A bit embarrassed by my fandom being discussed before the star, I quickly said "No Mum, that's Darren Hayes that I talk about a lot"! Kevin was amused.
It was such a great afternoon. I feel very lucky to be a part of it, and I love being a fan. Thank you for putting on the show, Spotify, and thanks Kevin for the tickets and for being genuine, participating in your own social media and for being awesome!
It's such a social weekend, this one. And the week ahead is set to be social too - filled with my day job, a networking event, making a podcast and dinners with friends. I am loving being a social butterfly but I must remember to take time to relax and unwind so I'm not overwhelmed with activity. Must. Pace. Myself.
On Friday night (so cold and rainy), I went to Federation Square with Clare and watched the Coopers Australian Music Prize shortlist being announced by Bob Evans and Clare Bowditch, and saw some great up and coming bands (they were shortlisted) play live. It was good to see the bands' friends and fans come support these bands - cheering them enthusiastically, amd fist pumping. And they were all so stylish. There was a fan-friend of Daily Meds in an amazing yellow sequinned knitted jacket and army green pants - I loved it!
I surprisingly enjoyed the hip hop, especially Urthboy's set (Jane Tyrrell, his companion singer, is wonderful), and want to explore more of it. My favourite performance of the night was Jess Riberirio and the Bone Collectors. It's the first time the AMP has been open to a public audience and I think it worked well - bought great live music to the masses.
The shortlist is as follows:
Flume – Flume
Tame Impala -‐ Lonerism
The Presets – Pacifica
Grand Salvo -‐ Slay Me In My Sleep
Jess Ribeirio & The Bone Collectors -‐ My Little River
Liz Stringer -‐ Warm In the Darkness
Daily Meds -‐ Happy Daze
Hermitude -‐ Hyper-‐Paradise
Urthboy -‐ Smokey’s Haunt
The winner is announced in March, and will receive $30,000.
Yesterday was a domestic day, I love those kinds of days. I got some groceries at the grocer and butcher in my local shopping strip, and came home to cook some meals for the week ahead, plus some meals for the freezer. The house smelled great! I am excited by food.
In one pot there was beef chilli with red kidney beans, tomato, onion, capsicum, zucchini, pumpkin and fresh green chillis. I'll serve it with yoghurt and cheese.
In the other pot there was a curry made from lamb, potatoes, dates, carrots, cauliflower, capsicum, onion, chick peas and garlic, and a home made curry powder of cardamom, cumin, tumeric, coriander, cinnamon and salt, plus plain yoghurt and fresh red chilli. I tasted some curry and it was the best. Sweet, warm and spicy.
You may remember the cute chicken playground I saw painted on the side of a chicken shop. Well I was excited to see this beauty on the side of a florist as I carried my groceries to my car. Isn't it the prettiest?!
At night I went out with Pip - it was a great night. We ate at Fonda in Richmond, and didn't run out of things to say all night. We talked and talked and talked! I found her so interesting. Funny that we have connections aside from blogging too.
I love Fonda - its service is quick and the food tastes light and fresh. A little noisy, but that comes with attracting a hip crowd.
To start, we had baked tortilla chips with salsa and guacamole, and cocktails. I chose the frozen margarita with elderflower and lychee - heaven! I also had horchata - a delicious cold drink that tastes like rice pudding.
Pip had a quesadilla filled with cheese, beans and chorizo (which I later ordered as I was still hungry!) and I had a fish taco and vegetarian taco. I find the fish taco is a bit too much like fish fingers, but it is still pretty good. The vegetarian taco was really flavoursome - lots of avocado, zucchini and corn - I will order two next time. The quesadilla was hearty and rich, I still have leftovers for breakfast!
We took a selfie - I was worried about being too busty in this one.
And an outfit shot. This dress is from ASOS - so cheap and I adore the rose print skirt and the tulle petticoats underneath.
Must get out of bed now - I'm doing a little road trip today, going to see Heidi. So excited. More food is in store, I know it!
Happy Sunday everyone!
Ps: I'd love it I'd you could click like on my photo - I entered it in the Life Flashes photography competition for Donate Life Week - there's a camera up for grabs if I win! Thank you! And check out the other fantastic photos there while you're at it.
When I turned down a phone interview with Kevin Mitchell aka Bob Evans due to a meeting for my day job, I asked my manager to mark that day in her calendar and remember my high commitment and prioritisation to my day job. That interview would have been a pinnacle in my writing career. I was almost William Miller in Almost Famous. I was almost Paul Cashmere. Only less knowledgable about music and a bit too much of a fangirl to be a proper music journo. I've been a fan of Perth-turned-Melbourne singer songwriter Bob Evans' music for around six years. And then I became a Jebediah fan. Here we are after his show at The Tote. He's frontman of Jebediah, one quarter of the supergroup Basement Birds and has been a regular on the RockWiz live tour. I once awkwardly got on stage with him to hold his lyrics! A word of advice: don't wear skinny jeans to a concert just in case you need to climb up on the stage. He and Steve Poltz also sent me a tweet with this message.
I am so happy Bob Evans has got an upcoming EP, Double Life, out 9 November, and an upcoming Australian tour, commencing on the same day - see tour dates below. He told me about his latest song, Don't wanna grow up anymore, in an email interview.
"Don't Wanna Grow Up Anymore is pretty self explanatory. The older you get the more responsibilities there are and sometimes it seems like things were easier or better in the past. Everyone is prone to a little nostalgia. For me it's my late teens and early twenties. The weird thing is, I'm much happier now than I was then. That time of my life was full of insecurity and angst. So I suppose there is a tendency to put on rose coloured glasses when we look at the past."
The song features the trademark combination of upbeat pop, falsetto, and just a hint of Jebediah nasal. Lyrically, it's nostalgic and poetic:
"I'm told from the dust of stars we
Came in to this world
And shall return.
It's foolish to try and fight it
Still y'know, I just don't wanna grow up anymore..."
He sings of simple times, being a sun-kissed kid. I asked his what he misses most about his childhood. Kevin says:
"My Dad. I had to think long and hard about this! There actually isn't that much I miss to be honest. The best things about being a kid you take for granted at the time anyway, like the endless potential and possibilities you have. You're not aware of those things. So the only thing I really miss about my childhood is my Dad, cos he died soon after my 20th birthday and he was a really good guy."
In the past year, Kevin's become a dad to a beautiful baby girl. I wondered what he'll be passing on from his childhood to hers.
"There are definitely values that I was brought up with that I will try and pass on to her, like being polite and well mannered and showing people respect. I read to her everyday and I will keep doing so for as long as I can because books were important to me when I was younger and I think kids that read do better at school. I also spent a lot of time outside playing and hopefully I can encourage her to do a bit of that too although I know these days it seems to be dying out a bit."
Kevin's been around the music scene for a while now, more than half his life. He's been playing in Jebediah since the mid 1990s - they were a band that I was pretty scared of, during my Savage Garden days - which I told him a couple of years ago. I asked him if being a rockstar has helped helped keep his youth.
"I'm not sure. I've never felt like a rock star but I'm sure that my occupation has helped keep me young at heart, cos I love it and I love the life it's given me. I definately think there is a link between happiness and holding on to your youth."
I have always enjoyed the visually creative videos and artwork Kevin pairs with his music. Leading up to the release of Don't wanna grow up anymore, teasers of lyrics were alongside nostalgic photos from the 1980s. I thought they were a real treat. I asked Kevin whether he enjoys the visual side of the creative process as much as making music?
"Ha! Not really to be honest. I don't really enjoy any activity as much as making music! I've never really considered myself very good at the visual side of art. I appreciate it as an observer but I'm terrible at coming up with it myself. When I write music I can usually satisfy myself with the end result being close to what my imagination was calling for. With visual stuff that doesn't really happen so much! But I'm glad you enjoyed it!"
Thanks to Kevin Mitchell/Bob Evans for your words, and to Kirsten at Bob Evans HQ for organising!
Many people I know are quite naive about social media - and the internet in general. Scared in fact. They think sharing updates and photos about their lives on Facebook is dangerous. They don't understand the perceived mundane tweets of Twitter. "Why do you want the world to know about what you had for breakfast?" people have asked me. And "what's a blog?" is the question I get asked when I speak of my blog. "An online diary" I say.They freak out at the thought of me sharing so much of my life online, and some have commented they think social media is a waste of time. For me social media is the launchpad for my writing career. It has also brought me so many new friends. I've put so much of my life online and nothing bad has happened to me - in fact I get less harassment online than I do 'in real life'.
This week I've had a few social media wins. I don't know whether these wins will influence those that are scared about social media to start using it in any way, but I hope they can see that social media can be for good.
First up - I was a the supermarket last week, looking for washing up gloves. I am allergic to latex and cannot use the regular rubber gloves. There were no latex free gloves in my local Coles. So I took a photo of the wall of gloves, and tweeted Coles.
Coles responded really quickly to my first tweet, and true to their word, on Wednesday, send me a follow up tweet.
I thanked them and included Chux in my reply. Chux make the gloves I can use. Within minutes I received this tweet from Chux.
And on Saturday a huge parcel was waiting for me at the post office - full of Chux goodies. It was the first time I was excited about cleaning products!
I received seven pairs of latex free washing up gloves, two boxes of food preparation gloves,a stack of different cloths and sponges and some other cleaning products! My cleaner will be pleased! The hamper also came with a lovely letter apologising for not being able to send me gloves in size small.
I was SO impressed! Impressed with Coles' tweets, and Chux's prompt service. Wow :) Thanks Chux!
Next up is something that has been in the pipeline for a couple of weeks now, but it was confirmed officially last week. You may notice I have a disclaimer on my blog.
This blog represents my personal opinions and experiences. It does not reflect those of my employers'.
The
information I provide about ichthyosis is mostly based on personal
experiences. Please seek medical advice or counseling before trying any
new treatments I've written about.
After seeing that someone from my organisation's IP address had visited my blog a high number of times, and coming across an updated social media policy, I gave the Australian Public Service Commission's (APSC) ethics helpline a call to discuss whether I should put a disclaimer on my blog. After our conversation, I researched some different disclaimers, and put my own together.
A few weeks after that conversation, I received an email from the APSC asking me to speak on a panel about the responsible use of social media as a public servant. So while many of my fellow bloggers will be at the Digital Parents Conference next week, I'll be in Canberra speaking to a range of government employees and stakeholders about how I keep my blogging and social media activity separate to my day job. I am so pleased to be recognised for my blog in the workplace. I have asked whether I can blog about the event, and they don't see a problem.
Another thing I am pleased about is the spread of my my blog entries and lovely comments, particularly from the medical community after my post about responsible social media use as a patient.
And there have been two other (quite frivolous) social media wins.
A tweet from Bob Evans at 4 am telling me I was amazing!
(Patience from The Grates suggested that I must be amazing given he tweeted me at 4 am!
And this - the only time I will be featured alongside model Erin McNaught in a magazing - my tweet in Shop Til You Drop mag.
Finally, I received an email from the Sydney Writer's Centre telling me I've been nominated for the Best Australian Blogs Competition for 2012. Whoever nominated me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot that people come to read my blog, and value my writing enough to nominate it in this national competition.
So from all the criticism that social media cops, it's been pretty good to me, especially this week. For the doubters out there, give social media a go. You may make some really good networks and friendships.
Share your social media good news stories with me and my readers.
Last night's New Year's Eve celebrations were very low key. After driving four hours, the heat and feeling a bit sore, I was in no mood to party like it was 1999 (I don't think I did then either?). And so I opted for spending time on my own, doing what I love. I saw Bob Evans (Kevin Mitchell from Jebediah) in the park. At 7.45 pm.
Breaking news: Bob Evans is better than Justin Bieber, according to two young (12 year old?) girls. His new biggest fans. I have some competition. I'm not too worried - I expect to see them at his pub gigs in 2018.
I set out for Yarra Park, which is shaded my the MCG. I felt like the oldest non-parent there. Prior to the show Bob/Kevin did warn me of what I may be in for.
I am not sure whether I was in time for the Zinger Zongers, but what I did see was bearable - a band heavy on the drums and fire breathing and some breakdancers who had apparently performed with Run DMC and The Black Eyed Peas.
Melbourne's free NYE celebrations had a gold theme and at Yarra Park, there was gold aplenty - hats, bows, skirts and facepaint. (When I was on the tram I saw a man dressed in a skintight Papa Smurf costume, which was definitely the best costume I've ever seen.)
The park was full of kids (and their parents) having a great time! I was almost stabbed with a balloon (problematic due to my latex allergy) and I was asked by an adorable three year old girl to umpire a bouncy ball dispute between her and another toddler. "But I was just plaaaaaaaying with my ball and he took it", she told me. There were babies dancing in tutus and tweens screaming for Bob Evans. Oh yes. It was incredibly cute and funny. I imagine had I been 12, I would have been hyperventilating too.
He came on the stage and there were squeals of "I love you" and "OMG". These squeals continued throughout the show, along with hearts made with their hands, and a request for Bob/Kevin to give them his shoes - "my mother wouldn't be proud of me if I walked the streets of Melbourne with no shoes", he said, gently quashing these tweens' hopes of scoring their new favourite rockstar's shoe.
If you look closely you will see a heart made out of a tween's hands.
I refer to my breaking news above - the tweens declared Bob Evans is better than Justin Bieber. And he asked whether he's up there with Reece Mastin (the winner of the last season of the Australian X Factor). I couldn't quite get the tweens' answer - but I kind of think Reece Mastin sounds like Pink. And people agree with me. Anyway, after the show, MC Denise Scott (Australian comedian and actor), bespeckled in a glittery gold jacket, suggested that the tweens may need some oxygen, and said the NYE party in Yarra Park was like Woodstock for five year olds.
So, what did I think of the Bob Evans show? Of course it was fantastic! He played a 45 minute set which included (not in order) Darlin won't you come?, Nowhere without you, Sadness and whiskey, Hand me downs, Someone so much, Brother oh brother, Turn, Pasha Bulker and Don't you think it's time?. His lyrics are so beautiful and I was really reflecting on Don't you think it's time? Very fitting for the year that's just been, and the year ahead.
Don't you think it's time
Time to start anew
Time for changing views
Time for making up your mind
Don't you think it's time
Time for moving on
Time for growing strong
Time to leave the past behind
You've been on my mind
Oh you've been on my mind
You've been on my mind
Oh you've been on my mind
Don't you think it's time
Time for quelling fear
Time for a new year
Time for meaning what you say
Don't you think it's time
Time for easing doubt
Time for reaching out
Time to open up your eyes
You've been on my mind
Oh you've been on my mind
You've been on my mind
Oh you've been on my mind
Don't you think it's time
Time for trusting more
Without keeping score
Time to let forgiveness out
Don't you think it's time
Time for showing grace
Time for having faith
Time to make more of this time
You've been on my mind
Oh you've been on my mind
You've been on my mind
Oh you've been on my mind"
I caught Melbourne's Lord Mayor making a very brief speech and then left before the fireworks. While Bob/Kevin went to the Espy in St Kilda to front Jebediah at a more adult show, I was home before 10 pm, feeling a bit sore and sunburnt, and I drifted to sleep listening to This American Life and The Minutes podcasts. At 11.55 pm I awoke to a text message, and then my neighbours starting cheering and the fireworks erupted - I got up out of bed and watched them from my balcony. And more text messages came in. It was a nice night.
"Make
me feel like I'm the one who moves you, The
only one you see" ~ Fans - Kings of Leon
After I wrote the review of the Sydney Darren Hayes concert,
and emotionally expressed my joy in meeting him, I received a comment
from an anonymous reader expressing concern for my emotional wellbeing. Here
is the original comment:
“I
enjoy reading your blog Carly... But this is an interesting read. I
know you find comfort in Darren's lyrics and music however I feel
that you are in a little too deep here... I feel that you are
slightly obsessive and almost 'drowning' in what he gives to you. The
fact that he is a gay man makes this 'relationship' you feel you have
with him even more uncomfortable to read at times :)”
After
a number of people went in to bat for me (thank you everyone) the
anonymous reader replied:
“I'm
quite happy to read your opinions on my original post and please let
me clarify that I was not alluding to the fact that Carly's love for
Darren can not be reciprocated in a traditional sense. I perfectly
and honestly respect the love you have for him as a musician... I too
believe that he is freakishly talented and I enjoy his lyrics too. My
concern and question stems from the fact that Carly has obviously had
heartbreak, distress and upheaval relating to her personal
relationships and she is very open in discussing this. My post came
from a place of concern for her emotional well-being. l just think
the level of adoration she has for Darren is somewhat concerning...
Gay or not gay has nothing to do with it. I'm only posting anon as I
don't have any other sign ins.”
I
also replied to the comments, ending with:
“Let
me have this happiness without criticism or condescension. Maybe one
day you'll experience the joys of being a fan too.”
While I wasn't upset by the comments made, I was disappointed that I was criticised for taking joy in meeting my idol and expressing how much he and his music means to me, after having such a shit time recently. Last week was truly the start of me getting back on track and feeling like the old Carly again.And that feels great.
And
today I want to tell you about the joy I get from being a fan. Of
Savage Garden and Darren Hayes more specifically. Laugh. Diagnose me
with some sort of obsession. But also take the time to realise how
the music moves me. It really does. And music and fanship moves other
people too. I've got some friends' comments about being a fan too.
Here goes.
I
can recall the very moment I became a fan of Savage Garden. It was
August 1996 and I was watching Rage. I saw Darren Hayes on the back
of a truck on a Brisbane highway – reddish long hair, sounding a bit
like Roxette. Daniel Jones, also on the back of the truck, was
playing a guitar. The song was catchy, they band was cute. It was the I Want You video clip. “I am
going to be a fan of everything this band does” I told myself. In
September 1996 I went to Geelong on a family holiday with a friend. I
remember buying the blue I Want You CD single, the one with the
garden gnome on it, in a cardboard case that pulled out like a
drawer. At the end of that year, I wished I had spent my $5 pocket
money a few weeks before on a much coveted red version of the CD
single, with a rare b-side. About three years later, a penpal sent me
a signed red I Want You CD. Rare. And in November 1996, I remember
seeing To the Moon and Back on Hey Hey It's Saturday. The song
confirmed Savage Garden would be the band of my life. I bought that
CD single too, and every single and album after, even the rare ones
from overseas. I think I have around 80 Savage Garden and Darren
Hayes CDs. I know people who have more. When my parents' house was
under threat by bushfires, Mum asked me if there was anything I'd
like saved. “My tower of Savage Garden CDs”, I told her.
Since
I became a fan of Savage Garden, and continuing on with Darren Hayes,
I've amassed a lot of stuff. Articles, CDs. Posters. Setlists.
Merchandise. And memories. Memories are the most precious. I can
recall all the concerts I've been to – even what I wore to the
Savage Garden one in 1997. And I remember the moments that I've met
Darren (I haven't met Daniel).
People
laugh at me, and are also critical. Even I take the piss out of this
particular love of mine sometimes. But I am a proud, dedicated and
committed fan. Why am I a fan? And why Savage Garden and Darren
Hayes?
When I was younger, I think it was an obsession. I couldn't
stop thinking about how hot Darren was. I'd be inspired by his
lyrics. My friends and I would analyse his interviews so much, and
dream of what it'd be like to marry him. He had not yet come out. 15
years after I became a fan, my fanship is more realistic and mature.
I don't want to marry him. I still think he's incredibly attractive.
But my love goes deeper than the superficial. The music gives me
incredible joy. It takes me back to a place when my life was simpler
– before adulthood, but also provides hope for each day too. It's
Darren's lyrics, perspective and experiences that I can relate to,
and as he's grown. I've grown too. As I've matured, I've taken some
solace (and sadness) knowing that some of the very things I've
experienced (isolation, bullying, difference) are some of the things
Darren's experienced too.
(If you look closely you can see me in the background. Darren took my camera and took this photo himself!)
I
think Savage Garden and Darren Hayes helped to shape my identity. The
music gave me something to believe in. It was there through my
headphones when I've had needles, and posters on my wall when I've
been sick in bed. I made many friends because of my fanship –
penpals and face to face friends. I'm still friends with many of
these people today. And just last week, at the Darren Hayes concert
in Melbourne, I befriended a girl who was also there by herself. She
read my review and couldn't believe how much she could relate to the
way I feel as a fan.
The music has also been a friend – for during
the many times I've felt lonely or rejected or love-lost, or even so
overwhelmed with love, I can immerse myself in it and it's like
receiving a reassuring and loving hug. However, despite me and my
fanship maturing, I can still be reduced to a puddle of tears (rather
than screaming with awe) when faced with Darren Hayes in person.
The
thrill of being a fan is what brings joy too. The race to stand at
the front of the stage (and the standing that often accompanies it).
The breath held as he walks out on stage. The rush through my veins
as he sings live. The special moments when he's looked at me during a
concert – and the kisses and hugs he's given me from the stage. And
the wait outside the venue, hoping to meet him. And when the meet
happens – wow. The shaking and immense happiness afterward.
Darren Hayes is a fan too. He's spoke at length about being a fan of Michael Jackson (and was very affected by his death - to the point of writing Glorious about Michael), Bono and Madonna. He has mentioned the excitement when he's met his idols, and his experience seems very similar to mine.
It's
not only Savage Garden and Darren Hayes that I am a fan of. I love so
many other bands, though not to the extent of getting super
knowledgable about them. Probably the closest would be Angus and
Julia Stone, Bob Evans and Genevieve Maynard. Back when I was young
(and possibly dumb in one case) I was a super fan of Southern Sons
(it was the long haired boys that caught my eye) and then cricketer
Shane Warne (the dumb phase for me, pre-text messaging phase for
him). I must say, I liked the look of Warnie when he looked more
natural – bleached hair and tubby. I've actually met some wonderful
friends through being a fan of other bands – Bob Evans in
particular (I've met some great girls out at his gigs and online),
and even become an online friend of one of my favourites –
Genevieve Maynard. Genevieve has commented on some of my blog entries and has told me she's a fan of me too! And this means so very much, being a fan of her!
My
Dad is a huge fan too. I think I get my dedication to the cause from
him. He loves Liverpool Football Club, and I have not known him to
miss a game. Before Albury received SBS on TV, we'd travel to
Melbourne to watch big games. He'd listen in for the football scores
on his shortwave radio at 7.55 am every night. Now he uses the
internet to find the scores, and watches most games live on pay TV.
It was Dad who encouraged me to go see Savage Garden live when I was
15 – I thought the idea of going to a live concert in Melbourne was
pretty out there, but I am so glad I did.When Savage Garden broke up,
a Brisbane radio station dedicated an hour of airtime to them. At
this time, we only had dial-up internet so streaming radio stations
online was a very slow option. So Dad encouraged me to call the
Brisbane radio station and ask to be put on hold, so I could listen
to the tribute. I did. Dad encouraged me to call the radio station,
because that's what he'd do to hear information about Liverpool, back
in his youth.
Before
I was born, and when I was very young, Dad was out of work for some
time. He used to do a program on community radio. This radio show
saw him wrongly pronounce INXS as 'inksess'. He is not from
Australia. Anyway, Dad was telling me about a man who also used to
have a show on the same community radio station. This man was so
committed to his passion he'd source rare music from rare record
shops in Melbourne, and play the types of music he truly loved –
cutting edge punk in the early 80s. He'd do fill in shifts. He loved
his music, and he was dedicated to the cause. I admire that
commitment and passion. I think it can give people something to live for.
So
that's my story. I could write forever about being a fan. As mentioned above, I've got some more stories from
friends about their fanship.When I read Edenland's blog about meeting Bono, I cried. Not because I am a huge fan of Bono, but because I could relate to the joy, and was so happy she got to meet her idol. I love reading/hearing other fan-meets-idol moments.
This one is my favourite, from Carmen,
who I met at Bob Evans last year. She's a fan of Josh Pyke, and when
I read on her Facebook that she met him, I was so excited for her, as
I know what a great feeling it is to meet an idol.
“I
am a fan of Josh Pyke. Haha. I love his music more than any other and
it satisfies me in some way I cannot define.
It was like it was
familiar to me even before I had ever heard it. A big part of it is
that it provides me with an escape from the mundane and his voice &
lyrics comfort me. I know that would probably sound ridiculous to a
non fan.
He has songs that suit my best and worst days. Seeing him
live is the ultimate and the times I have met him are like treasures
I carry in my heart. I know it's soppy but if I can't say it here
where can I?
I also like the thrill of the hunt in finding him
after a show and talking to him, it is never easy. I am very shy and
it takes a lot for me to approach him but I do it as the rewards are
great. If I didn't find him to be as warm and sweet as I have
done, he wouldn't be quite as special to me as he is.
I certainly
don't think I am lacking anything in my life. My love for Josh is
just an added extra.
Social media has had a big impact (mainly
Twitter for me) as it has provided me with direct contact with him.
I
could really relate to your latest Darren story as last time I met
Josh he held out both his arms to me and pulled me in close and
cuddled me. It was one of the best moments of my life. You have to be
a fan to understand the thrill of that. It has nothing to do with him
being 'known'. It is just him. Sorry if I sould completely mad, just
had to get it out!”
Dane,
a guy I work with, loves musicals.
“I've had
people comment that I'm crazy for seeing musicals all the time. If
someone finds solace, comfort or escapism in someone's art, talent or
interactions - no matter how deeply they feel it - it shouldn't be
denied”.
Ellie
K loves Bob Evans. Lucky Elly gets to have him sing at her house!
“You
will not be surprised to hear that I am a Bob
Evans fan. I became a groupie at the ripe old age of 35! His
music simply makes my life better. I can't explain it and people
think I'm nutso but I don't care. There is just something about his
music that satisfies my soul. I enjoy being enthusiastic and
passionate about something so joyful. And my friends get pleasure and
amusement from my joy. I had an amazing response of support (both
financial and emotional) when I bid for Bob in the EMI auction. And
because of them I won! In 15 days he will be in my house...And as an
added bonus, through my fandom I have met some gorgeous fellow fans
on-line including your lovely self.”
"For
me, I grew up with Australian and New Zealand Rock, I really love the
songwriting of Richard Clapton and Tim Finn. To me they represent a
time when I was a young tacker growing up in the late 70's into the
80's so add in there Split Enz. Noel Crombie from the band also
designed and sewed their costumes, creativity like that I regard
highly. I also really love the late 70's to early 80's underground
British music - Simple Minds and anything experimental. Also punk but
more The Clash style than Sex Pistols.
Moving into the 90's, I
took a liking to a band from Sydney called 'The Clouds', Jodi Phillis
and Patricia Young were a great songwriting combination and they
played my hometown of Hobart on Hobart's second warmest day recorded
at 40.8 degrees in December 1994.
Also Nirvana, I loved the
fact that they totally transformed the music scene in 6 months then
moving onto 'Foo Fighters'. I probably don't say I'm a fan of anyone
too much but Dave Grohl for me is a total legend!”
And
I think this is something that sums it all up for me. Tim, from the
Stibbard-Me-Timbers Radio Show said:
“David Francey, he's a true
folk singer and very creative, he worked in construction for years
then developed a career in music. Sings about working class, poverty,
cause he has been there and done it. His songs have timeless
youngness about them. I can kind of relate or at least dream that I
can inspire somebody in the same way, I think that what makes you
like someone. If they write the song you feel you should've written
or want to sing”.
I
feel exactly that about Darren Hayes. He writes the songs I feel I
should have written or want to sing. Especially this song. The Siren's Call. I recorded it in Sydney.
Who are you a fan of? And what joy does being a fan bring for you?
(Picture supplied)
He's frontman of 
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