There was a bit of talk about getting out of your comfort zone at the Problogger Event. Darren Rowse said “getting out of your comfort zone is when sparks fly”. He talked about the people you meet and the opportunities that arise when you push yourself into doing something you may be a little afraid of, or go somewhere you might not want to go.
I am such a social person – I can be loud, I love meeting new people and I love talking. I enjoy hearing peoples' stories. I like having dinner with people and laughing. I have a diverse range of friends.
But I do crave alone time (it’s the only child/sole dweller in me) and also familiarity. While apparently my personality type is an ENFJ - which means I am an extrovert, I think I'm equal parts extrovert and introvert. Those tests are freakishly accurate, aren't they?! (There was talk of personality types at Problogger, and I just took my test.)
"An ENFJ:
- Prefers harmony to discord
- Outgoing and warm-hearted
- Genuinely interest in the feelings of others
- Often have a diverse range of friends and acquaintances
- Great at supporting and encouraging others
- Excellent organizers
- Seek approval from other people
- Organised and enjoy structure and careful planning.
- Likes sticking to a schedule - this makes them feel in control."
In between sessions at the Problogger Event, I wanted a little time out – some quiet, but also doing the stuff I like to do in every day life. I wanted to get myself into my comfort zone - at least for a few hours. Networking is tiring!
I read books and magazines on the plane, I dabbled my feet in the pool and I hung out with Clare, a friend who I met in New York last year. Clare came to the pre-conference party and we ate and drank at the Stingray Lounge at the QT hotel (great food!), then went back to my apartment for more drinks and icecream (hello Cold Rock cake batter icecream!) and a long overdue giggly chat.
And the next night, Clare and I went to see a band. Doing this sort of thing makes me feel at home, makes me feel like myself. Maybe seeing a band is my equivalent of going to a spa? It was a coincidence that Bob Evans (Kevin Mitchell) was playing on the Gold Coast when I was there. I left the Problogger party early (standing up and drinking at a party isn't really my thing, sitting down and drinking at a band is!), and Clare drove us to the Sound Lounge at Currumbin RSL where Bob Evans was playing. I find it interesting to see how audiences view bands in other places - levels of interest vs talking, camaraderie of fans (the fans here were very friendly and polite), the amount of singing along, and sitting vs standing. The Sound Lounge was a very relaxed venue - apparently Currumbin is not the Gold Coast that most people know.
(source)
Drinks were cheap, we sat on cushions on the floor, and I absorbed the music. I only took around three pictures of him playing – which is out of the ordinary for me – and had far more drinks than I usually have a gigs (again, out of the ordinary, because in Melbourne I have to focus on getting myself home safely). It was a fun night! Kevin played a new, yet to be released song with some affirming lyrics that Clare eagerly tweeted: "don't give up on yourself, 'cause you're the reason I get out of bed", and he also played two of my absolute favourites: Hand Me Downs and In Another Time. It was a great show!
Both Kevin and I discussed that we were too dressed up to be at a pub gig! (The patrons at the Sound Lounge were just lucky that I didn't choose the Carmen Miranda style fruit hat as part of my tropical costume for the Problogger party!)
What do you do to get into your comfort zone?
What personality type are you? Take a test here.
Do you like to see bands in other locations?
(You can view my other Problogger Event wrap up posts here.)
I read this SBS article recently that says most introvert evaluations aren't accurate, that a true introvert shuts themself away from social situations completely, including online. (I guess that's a hermit?) I think people like to reassure themselves that they fit into one group or another, or to try to understand why they feel a certain way, as it makes them feel more comfortable about themselves. I know I do, but without speaking to a professional I take these things with a grain of salt.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2013/09/19/comment-sorry-youre-probably-not-introvert
Having said that, I did your quiz and apparently I'm an ISTJ - Introvert(78%) Sensing(12%) Thinking(62%) Judging(22%)
You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (78%)
You have slight preference of Sensing over Intuition (12%)
You have distinctive preference of Thinking over Feeling (62%)
You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (22%)
As much as I like socialising with other people, lots of times I prefer to be alone as I know I can do things the way I want to rather than rely on others. I'm not sure if that's selfish, but being in control of my actions is like being in a comfort zone for me.
I've noticed lately I seem to have fallen into a weekend routine of internet, TV, and the occasional band where the only time I spend away from home is the time during the gig and travelling to and from the venue, and as a result I've become almost friendless. I have a lot of some-time friends (if that's a thing), but no-one I can really call on as a friend. I'm not sure how I feel about that to be honest, but I could basically uproot myself and move anywhere in the world and it wouldn't affect anyone. I guess I like having that flexibility to make my own decisions.
I love the idea of seeing bands in other locations! I'll take any excuse to take a break from my usual location, even if it's just for a day or one night. I love travelling, I like visiting places I haven't been to before, and I like organising ways to get there and places to stay. I pride myself on the fact I've seen bands all around the country in places I probably wouldn't have travelled to otherwise. Again, it's another thing I can do myself and have control over.
Hey Shane
DeleteThanks for your comment! You sound like me - happy to do stuff on my own so I don't have to rely on others. I don't know if it's selfish or self preservation?
Ill check out that article you left soon - thanks :)
I don't think we are ever truly a personality type from those tests - they are a guide, but also freakishly accurate in points.
Thanks for stop
ENTP here!
ReplyDeleteExtroversion: 18/21
Intuition: 25/26
Thinking: 20/24
Perceiving: 15/22
Take the #16Disabilities challenge! I even set up a participant list.