Exhale - This is who I am.

And breathe.

Today, at about 4.40 pm, I submitted my thesis - my final assessment for my Masters of Communication. It's a great feeling. But I am exhausted. My thesis was on blogging and how it's given me a greater sense of identity because it allows me to have a voice and engenders a supportive community. Don't ask me much more about it right now, I forget.

Right now I am tired. With the pressure of a ridiculously busy period at work, completing my thesis (I've been working on it for around three months, but getting it done this weekend felt like I was plating up on MasterChef - right down to the wire!) and preparing for my trip. This semester doing my thesis has felt a bit lonely - I haven't had to attend uni, and I have also forgone a few social activities to procrastinate concentrate on the research. My trip has been on my mind more than anything. When I think that I fly out in 18 days, I grin and get butterflies in my tummy. Oh the opportunities!

But I worry. I am a worrier (and sometimes a warrior).

I am worried about my trip. I worry about my skin and money and what I will do about my phone to avoid bill shock. I worry about the cost of holding my mail (why should I have to pay for the post office to hold it when I have a PO Box that I already pay for? I worry that I won't have enough room in my suitcase and that I'll have too many suitcases to carry because of my special luggage allowance, and that I'll run out of cream.

I worry about the change in seasons and whether I should take a coat for London and a maxi dress for New York. I worry that it will be so "hot" in London that people will think it's a heatwave at 24 degrees and I'll be freezing in the aircon. Similarly, I worry about the New York summer. I worry about the health of those I love.

I worry about missing my friends and missing Offspring - how will I know what Nina is wearing each week, and whether she's got a chance with Kick Gurry's character? I worry that Darren Hayes will release concerts tickets to his Australian shows later this year and I'll miss out because I won't be notified in time. I worry that the woman whose apartment I am renting in New York will freak out about my skin. I worry.

Enough! I mustn't worry.

It's going to be the trip of a lifetime! I am incredibly excited!

This fortnight I will be doing the following things:

• Surviving and enjoying work (and celebrate our big achievements of this project!)
• Buying an iPad and downloading apps for blogging and photography
• Downloading ebooks for my iPad - I have a list and an Amazon voucher!
• Organising my travel money
• Writing my speech for the Centre for Appearance Research's Appearance Matters conference that is happening in Bristol on 3 and 4 July
• Packing (I have done my toiletries - being progressively buying things for my trip)
• Going to the hospital to organise my final prescriptions
• Laminating my doctor's certificates for travel
• Emailing my friends and contacts in the UK
• Having dinner with friends and attending a party
• Giving a practice speech at my hospital.

I have a bit of an announcement to make (I can't recall if I have mentioned it before)! Two months ago I went for my regular checkup at the hospital clinic. One of the professors came to see me, telling me the hospital is able to support me by funding a ticket to London and paying for the conference! The Centre for Appearance Research works with my dermatology team. The professor told me she has spoken with the CEO of the hospital and they are both in full support of my trip, speaking at the conference and doing work experience at Changing Faces.

I felt so happy and overwhelmed with their generosity that I cried. I asked them how I can repay them. Other than inviting me to speak to some dermatologists and geneticists, they told me that I don't owe them anything. "You've paid for this, Carly" they laughed. I sure have. The support of my hospital, and the Layne Beachley Aim for the Stars Foundation, is better than any corporate sponsorship. They believe in me.

Right now I am worried. But I am so proud. I am following my dreams and making things happen. Who would have thought it could be this amazing?

(This is a post for Eden's Fresh Horses meme - 'Who the hell are you?')