Today, at about 4.40 pm, I submitted my thesis - my final assessment for my Masters of Communication. It's a great feeling. But I am exhausted. My thesis was on blogging and how it's given me a greater sense of identity because it allows me to have a voice and engenders a supportive community. Don't ask me much more about it right now, I forget.
Right now I am tired. With the pressure of a ridiculously busy period at work, completing my thesis (I've been working on it for around three months, but getting it done this weekend felt like I was plating up on MasterChef - right down to the wire!) and preparing for my trip. This semester doing my thesis has felt a bit lonely - I haven't had to attend uni, and I have also forgone a few social activities to
procrastinate concentrate on the research. My trip has been on my mind more than anything. When I think that I fly out in 18 days, I grin and get butterflies in my tummy. Oh the opportunities!
But I worry. I am a worrier (and sometimes a warrior).
I am worried about my trip. I worry about my skin and money and what I will do about my phone to avoid bill shock. I worry about the cost of holding my mail (why should I have to pay for the post office to hold it when I have a PO Box that I already pay for? I worry that I won't have enough room in my suitcase and that I'll have too many suitcases to carry because of my special luggage allowance, and that I'll run out of cream.
I worry about the change in seasons and whether I should take a coat for London and a maxi dress for New York. I worry that it will be so "hot" in London that people will think it's a heatwave at 24 degrees and I'll be freezing in the aircon. Similarly, I worry about the New York summer. I worry about the health of those I love.
I worry about missing my friends and missing Offspring - how will I know what Nina is wearing each week, and whether she's got a chance with Kick Gurry's character? I worry that Darren Hayes will release concerts tickets to his Australian shows later this year and I'll miss out because I won't be notified in time. I worry that the woman whose apartment I am renting in New York will freak out about my skin. I worry.
Enough! I mustn't worry.
It's going to be the trip of a lifetime! I am incredibly excited!
This fortnight I will be doing the following things:
- Surviving and enjoying work (and celebrate our big achievements of this project!)
- Buying an iPad and downloading apps for blogging and photography
- Downloading ebooks for my iPad - I have a list and an Amazon voucher!
- Organising my travel money
- Writing my speech for the Centre for Appearance Research's Appearance Matters conference that is happening in Bristol on 3 and 4 July
- Packing (I have done my toiletries - being progressively buying things for my trip)
- Going to the hospital to organise my final prescriptions
- Laminating my doctor's certificates for travel
- Emailing my friends and contacts in the UK
- Having dinner with friends and attending a party
- Giving a practice speech at my hospital.
I felt so happy and overwhelmed with their generosity that I cried. I asked them how I can repay them. Other than inviting me to speak to some dermatologists and geneticists, they told me that I don't owe them anything. "You've paid for this, Carly" they laughed. I sure have. The support of my hospital, and the Layne Beachley Aim for the Stars Foundation, is better than any corporate sponsorship. They believe in me.
Right now I am worried. But I am so proud. I am following my dreams and making things happen. Who would have thought it could be this amazing?
(This is a post for Eden's Fresh Horses meme - 'Who the hell are you?')