01 March 2010

There's something I need to tell myself...

Dear Carly

It's 2007.

You are 25 years old.

Your sense of integrity, honesty and passion is commendable. You're not afraid to tell it like it is.

It's the height of the MySpace boom. This means bands are sharing their music and thoughts with their fans on perhaps a different level than in previous eras.

Bands are adding their fans as friends on MySpace. It's probably mostly their record labels adding their fans. But there are some bands and artists who are personally responding to their fans.

You and your ultimate idol have just become friends on MySpace. You've got two hundred other bands as friends. But he's the ultimate.

You've loved him since 1996. That's almost half of your life. He means the world to you.

Just because your idol adds you as a friend MySpace doesn't mean you are actually friends.

Maintain your distance.

Send him a birthday wish.

Tell him how much his music means to you.

He's made you feel special on several occasions.

You cherished every moment and word your idol's given to you.

You've always thanked him for his time and his generosity. You've always shown him the utmost respect.

He knows you love him. He's seen that at his concerts and when you've waited for hours outside the television studios for him.

Now you're friends on MySpace you can write to him about how you relate to his music. The things that happened in your day.

Sometimes he'll write back.

Cherish every moment and word he gives to you.

But maintain your distance.

Even if you sense some trust between you, it doesn't mean you can tell him everything. I know it feels that way because you've loved him since 1996 and you relate to his music and you know everything the media has ever featured about him.

Never tell your idol that you disagree with his actions. Even if you write it politely and with passion and respect. Your passion just won't show through.

Your idol is human too. He has to make business decisions. He can't exist just to serve fans like you.

You should have stuck to writing messages of adoration via snail mail. Like when you wrote to Shane Warne (before text messages). Shane Warne sent you a handwritten card back. How excited you were in 1993! When you wrote to Shane Warne in 1993, you never knew your idols actually read your messages and could respond to you.

In the MySpace age they just may.

Your idol's replies can make you incredibly happy. Make you feel incredibly worthy. And they can also tear you apart. You will be devastated.

Before you consider interacting with your idol on MySpace, just remember how much you've cherished their words, time and actions in the past.

Just remember you've loved him since 1996. Almost half your life.

Your idol will never love you as much as you love them. You'll love them forever.


A little older, much wiser Carly. (Broken heart healing.)

(Written for the Blog This If I met my younger self challenge.)


  1. Awwww.... *hugs* to little "25"year old Carly,

  2. Hi:)
    I loved that, and you are absolutely right...

    That is why keeping your distance is probably the best way to go, and admire from 100000 meters away ...:)
    Besides what do you do it your idol turns out to be a complete asshole:)

    I for one..don´t want to be "friends" with someone on different networking channels...i like to live, and think that ...
    ...he is probably a nice guy...good mannered-not a cheat...and just a well bread man:)

    Therefor i will stick to only listen when Silverchair is played, and not move down to Sydney in the hops that....oooooooohhhhhhh good is he walking around the streets...
    Do i sound like a stalker? i was meant to:)
    But i am really not:)

    Have a good day Carly...SP

  3. Awww Carly, what a great blog. It's true. It's best to be careful about the things you say to your idol. They are human too and there is only so much they can give to you.

    But... you probably don't even realise how much you really do mean to him. He made you feel special because you WERE special to him and no doubt you still are. Speaking your mind on one occasion would not have changed that. You love him because he always speaks his mind and I'm certain he appreciates it in you. Don't underestimate him.

  4. Did something change after you said something to someone? Your perception of him? His perception of you? This post is full of regret:'(


  5. Sometimes the reality of someone is so disappointing.

  6. thankyou so so much for leaving me a comment bc now ive discovered your blog and im in love with you! you are tooo funny. and cute. and you made me miss myspace.

  7. I definitely agree with what FF said!

    My idol wrote back to me on a music website kind of like myspace. I nearly had a heart attack when it happened. He is my ultimate love. He can do no wrong in my eyes. And I hope that one day, if I finally meet him, he will not let me down. However I've discovered he smokes which makes me a bit devo. Haha.

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. That was so beautifully written Carly. It is very important to remember that putting people up on a pedestal can sometimes be dangerous - be it a famous person, or someone close to you. Being disappointed in or by someone is one of the worst kinds of heartbreak :(

    On a happier note - I have requested to follow you on twitter!

  10. Very good advice!! Love the concept of the post...but now I'm uber curious about what happened!! :)

  11. This situation is one of two in my whole life that I regret :( I am ok now though.

    Thanks for your support girls :)

  12. Sounds like some great advice (although I know it's to yourself but also good to other fans :) ). They are human and as such can disappoint at times but that doesn't mean that they're any less fantastic!

  13. What a great blog Carly, I enjoyed reading that. Once again I know where you're coming from, you're on my wavelength hehe ;-)

    I've been there myself though and fell to earth with a bit of a bump, but I soon got right back up again despite feeling very let down. I agree with miss_aimes when she said about putting people on a pedestal can be dangerous.

    I'll be sticking to admiring from a distance, I've seen what becoming totally obsessed can do to people and I'll be damned if I ever go down that route.

    Thanks for sharing this blog Carly x

  14. I can relate to this...I have regrets about a somewhat similar situation.

    I idolised a particular US band (grammy award winning) and built an initially online friendship with one of their members whom I had a crush on. One thing led to another and we became good friends, with an obvious mutual attraction.

    Sometimes I still wonder what would have happened if I had handled the situation differently...so many spooky things happened in order for us to connect that I wonder if fate had wished us to be together?

    I stuffed up by seeing him as superhuman - I couldn't believe he really dug *me*, and I tried to play it super cool but in doing so I pushed him away and hurt him, although I never meant too.

    Bittersweet <3 xxx

  15. Oh Carly - I felt that. Reminded me of the time my parents wouldn't let me go to see Leif Garratt (yes I'm THAT old) when he was in Brisbane. I was devastated and sobbed in my room for days.....

  16. I would never be game enough to approach someone famous on any forum - it's sad but I can't even bring myself to tweet famous people on Twitter! Maybe it's my own way of separating reality from myth, a way of defending myself from he inevitable hurt or embarrassment of unrequited affection? At least you took the chance to connect - you are more fearless than I!

  17. I'm a bit like Kirsty. I'd never be able to approach anyone famous. As Kirsty said at least you took that chance and have learned from the experience.


Thank you for reading my blog. I love receiving comments :)
I really appreciate the time you've taken to write to me, and to share something about yourself.


Related Posts with Thumbnails