You are 25 years old.
Your sense of integrity, honesty and passion is commendable. You're not afraid to tell it like it is.
It's the height of the MySpace boom. This means bands are sharing their music and thoughts with their fans on perhaps a different level than in previous eras.
Bands are adding their fans as friends on MySpace. It's probably mostly their record labels adding their fans. But there are some bands and artists who are personally responding to their fans.
You and your ultimate idol have just become friends on MySpace. You've got two hundred other bands as friends. But he's the ultimate.
You've loved him since 1996. That's almost half of your life. He means the world to you.
Just because your idol adds you as a friend MySpace doesn't mean you are actually friends.
Maintain your distance.
Send him a birthday wish.
Tell him how much his music means to you.
He's made you feel special on several occasions.
You cherished every moment and word your idol's given to you.
You've always thanked him for his time and his generosity. You've always shown him the utmost respect.
He knows you love him. He's seen that at his concerts and when you've waited for hours outside the television studios for him.
Now you're friends on MySpace you can write to him about how you relate to his music. The things that happened in your day.
Sometimes he'll write back.
Cherish every moment and word he gives to you.
But maintain your distance.
Even if you sense some trust between you, it doesn't mean you can tell him everything. I know it feels that way because you've loved him since 1996 and you relate to his music and you know everything the media has ever featured about him.
Never tell your idol that you disagree with his actions. Even if you write it politely and with passion and respect. Your passion just won't show through.
Your idol is human too. He has to make business decisions. He can't exist just to serve fans like you.
You should have stuck to writing messages of adoration via snail mail. Like when you wrote to Shane Warne (before text messages). Shane Warne sent you a handwritten card back. How excited you were in 1993! When you wrote to Shane Warne in 1993, you never knew your idols actually read your messages and could respond to you.
In the MySpace age they just may.
Your idol's replies can make you incredibly happy. Make you feel incredibly worthy. And they can also tear you apart. You will be devastated.
Before you consider interacting with your idol on MySpace, just remember how much you've cherished their words, time and actions in the past.
Just remember you've loved him since 1996. Almost half your life.
Your idol will never love you as much as you love them. You'll love them forever.
A little older, much wiser Carly. (Broken heart healing.)
(Written for the Blog This If I met my younger self challenge.)