Travel tales: Degas House, New Orleans

It’s just over a year ago since I was in New Orleans. Gosh time has flown! I want to blog more about my trip – let’s hope I can remember the details! I saw so much.

I went on a guided bus tour in New Orleans – it changed my perspective of the city. I loved doing these short tours as it gave me ideas for what I wanted to see later.

As the tour bus was going up The Esplanade in New Orleans, the guide pointed out French artist Edgar Degas' house, which is now art gallery for the public to visit.

I was so excited, because studied Degas at school and also saw a few of his works at the MET in NYC in 2012.

And so after the bus tour, I walked – many, many blocks to the Degas House. It was hot and so by the time I arrived, I was redder than usual and in need of a cold drink. The staff – Degas’ relatives – were very welcoming. And I learnt so much during my two hours there.

Degas House is located at 2306 The Esplanade - on the corner of North Tonti Street New Orleans. There are two houses on this block - they make up a gallery and bed and breakfast. The two houses were once one large mansion but in the 1920s, the house was cut in two.

Edgar Degas had Creole heritage. He went to New Orleans to live with his uncle in the house at The Esplanade in 1872. He was provided with a bedroom which doubled as his studio.

At the time New Orleans was in a depression, and perhaps Degas was too. He had an eye condition. He would paint his cousins, depicting looking introspectively - their eyes looking at nothing in particular. This was thought to be a symbol of his own fate for his sight.

New Orleans has brilliant, bright light. To protect his eyesight from the light, Degas painted all of his New Orleans portraits at the house.

His five months in New Orleans was where he found himself – an awakening of sorts. He returned to Paris in 1873 to create the paintings we are familiar with.

Today, Degas House is a guest house - adorned with Degas' paintings and decorated to reflect the period in which Degas stayed in the house. It is so beautiful – gorgeous 19th century furniture, low ceilings and artwork everywhere. There is a sunny courtyard – a little eerie after seeing a painting he did.

His studio is not a guest room. It has his wardrobe and bed. A palette with dried paint sits on a desk. Chairs are arranged to show the way he would have studied his subjects while painting them. The room is the brightest lit of both houses.

From memory, the tour cost $15 plus tax and tip (I had a student card). There was no one else there when I went, so I explored the house uninterrupted.

If you’re in New Orleans, Degas House is well worth a visit. It'd make a lovely, romantic stay.

Appearance Diversity: Melissa's story. "Living my life in a somewhat public way allows others access to a person (me!) who may just look similar to them."

Melissa from Suger Coat It is a blogger I've been following since I started this blog, maybe even longer. I've followed her fashions and blogging tips and candid posts about body image and confidence. I really admire her writing and style.  And I love her attitude and commitment to appearance diversity. 

We've met a few times in person, managing to snap only one selfie (in blogger's terms - in actuality, we took five!) at last year's Problogger Event. 

While Melissa is different to the other people I've featured in my Appearance Diversity series (she doesn't have a disability or facial difference), I asked her to be a part of my blog because she exudes confidence as a plus sized fashion blogger. I love the way plus sized bloggers have paved the way in creating their own media, been recognised by fashion labels, broken down stereotypes and created a supportive community online and offline. 

There's a startling assumption that people who look different - who have a facial difference, a disability, or a bigger or smaller shape than what's classed as average - aren't living happy lives. I really like that Melissa addresses that in her guest post today. 

 Meet Melissa. 

"As a child, I was fairly mainstream in my looks. Hardly appearance diverse. I was an average sized tanned, blue-eyed blonde in Australia. I was pretty much a dime a dozen. Life chugged along nicely and my biggest concern was if I could get my hands on the same scrunch socks as my friends. I was average. Until I wasn't.

As I entered my pre-teen years, and I shot up and out. I was almost my full adult height of 178cm by the time I entered high school. And despite numerous attempts throughout the years through disorder eating and manic exercise to starve myself thin, I was never smaller than an Australian size 14/16. I'm a big girl from hearty stock. What can I say? Today I wear an Australian size 20/22. 

It occurred to me then that I would never be a lot of things people demand of women. My diversity came in the form of the size of my body. I was different to a lot of my friends and the women I saw around me. I was tall, athletic and large in a world that tells women to be small, dainty and fragile. I began to rebel against the ideas of what, as women, we are told to be. I became bold in my rebellion, backing my own opinion and ideas on things. My differences had made me strong.

Somewhere along the line I became a blogger. A love of writing drew me in and the support of the community I went on to build buoyed me in some of the most difficult times of my life. Later, I'm estimating about 3 years, I made a switch and officially I was a plus-size fashion blogger. Women would come to me with their clothing and body concerns. Through the act of sharing myself, my opinions and my outfits I became their confidant.

You may assume that was for women over a certain size. For women like me. But that wasn't always the case. Women of all shapes, sizes, ages and backgrounds were compelled to ask questions, seek advice and talk back to me in the way blogs are so good for. We bonded over being on the outskirts of what is conventionally beautiful and attractive. Understanding that most women are. Learning in our own ways to appreciate our differences as being our beauty.

And somewhere along the way the hurt of not being accepted, not being the same as other people, disappeared. I was at home in the body I was given. I embraced it as an ever changing outward expression of who I am. Unique. Different. Big, bold and welcoming. It doesn't mean that I don't' still get abuse from people who believe they have the right to offer me their thoughts on my body. It happens. They weigh in with ideas, advice and well-meaning tidbits all the time. Fashion especially encourages, I think. 

"Oh dear, fat girls shouldn't wear STRIPES!?"

"Oh no, honey, with your shape you should wear more volume on the bottom to balance it out."

"You would be so beautiful if you lost some weight."

"You're so brave to wear a sleeveless top. I would never."

Or the what the heck, is that a compliment or a swipe that goes a little something like, "Great outfit. It's SOOO slimming, nice one!".

Those words don't impact my opinion of myself anymore. I stand for open conversation and demand to know why they feel the need to comment in that way. Slimming huh? Beautiful, if? What's wrong with the shape I have now? In some ways, I feel that I can challenge their ideas on appearance by asking them to explain themselves. By challenging their ideas on what I wear and how I look, I feel like things change a little for them. Ideas they didn't even know they could question. It just assumed that you want to appear slimmer, isn't it? 

Thinking about it now, I am grateful to have not fit into the idea of what is acceptable, attractive or beautiful. By not fitting in I was released from the expectations placed on someone who does fit in. Or could. Possibly. If they 'tried hard enough' or 'wanted it more'. It's easier to break free from a mould you never fit in the first place. Right? That's my thinking. And there's freedom in that. A freedom of thought but also a freedom to be yourself.

Who said you need to be a certain set of ideals to be treated with respect? To live happily, even healthfully? Who says that the ideas you were programmed with are the right ones while what I developed for myself is not? I think we all need to be mindful of the idea that we know anything about a person from our first or even fiftieth glance at them. Appearance is just that. The way something appears.

When I started this post, I was going to go into the ways that I feel plus-size fashion bloggers are treated differently by major brands and department stores. Hello, would an invite to the new season release kill them? Buuuuut I'd rather be part of the positive voices than the negative chorus. I look at the plus-size bloggers doing big campaigns and causing real change in places like the USA and UK and I know that our time with come too. We are chipping away at an idea of what is fashionable, just as people over a certain age, people of colour, or people who are differently abled are. 

For some time now I feel like living my life in a somewhat public way allows others access to a person (me!) who may just look similar to them. A person living her life happily. Gasp. There I am wearing what I like, when I like. Being fashionable in my own way. I share because I'm not some concept outside of the ideal appearance. I'm a person. A person who sometimes even does amazing things and people, women mostly in my case, need to be presented with that. Maybe there will be one girl, who just happens to be 6 foot tall, who might feel okay about it because she saw me.

That would be my aim. To make an impact like that."

Melissa blogs at Suger Coat It and you can find her on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. 

My story on The Mirror and Huffington Post Italy.

The Reddit story keeps on giving. Over the last two days, the story about how I defended myself on Reddit has resurfaced. I've been on The UK Mirror and Irish Mirror websites, and also the Huffington Post in Italy. I'm pleased with how my story has been represented. And I especially like the poll at the bottom of the Mirror articles - asking people if I've educated them about ichthyosis - as a friend said, it's a testament to the work I do. The comments have been surprisingly, overwhelmingly positive.

If you've come here from the News sites, you can:find out more about Ichthyosis, and read more about me. You can also read stories from others affected by Ichthyosis.

Watch me talk about how it gets better.

 

And you can follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Thanks for the support.

 

 

 

Connecting with likeminded people.

A few weeks ago, I had to take a break from public social media. It just wasn’t fun for me. There wasn’t anything particularly nasty happening - other than the night where I copped a lot of criticism for a project I am working on and I felt very upset - but I just found it snarky and faced constant disagreement. I understand there’s the ‘you put yourself out there, expect differing opinions and criticism’ argument (which I don’t necessarily agree with), but the constant disagreement was tiring. It wore me down. I’d been told that I’d upset people through linking to articles that I’d hope get people thinking. And then I felt the impact of vicarious trauma - where people told me horrible things they’d experienced, or shared articles about hate crime related to appearance diversity. Really upsetting. I could not take it all on.

I wrote this Facebook post explaining how I felt, and received an incredible amount of support - thank you so much. I also acknowledge the way social media has propelled me, which I am constantly thankful for.

And then I took time out from engaging publicly on social media. It was good. Peaceful. I just posted photos to Instagram and engaged on my private social media - and continued to publish my blog posts as scheduled. I dipped my toe back in, slowly.

Sometimes online communication can be misconstrued or take a direction I never intended. And it’s not a matter of no one disagreeing with me or yearning for praise constantly. It’s about recognising the need to filter the online communication and information overload, which can be like a treadmill. Being online communicator is tough - and it’s almost impossible to switch off. But I do crave connection. And so I connected more in person. With likeminded people.

Every second Saturday I’ve been going to Quippings afternoons, where we meet in a theatre and socialise more than we do before and after the Quippings shows. Even though we drink tea and chat a lot, I feel like we’re achieving so much. We discuss disability with each other, and talk to the camera. We’ve covered some big issues, some I’ve never thought about before. I’ve admitted my disability privilege without judgment. And we’ve laughed. We can all relate, despite the diversity of our disabilities. I’ve come away with so much writing inspiration. I am so lucky to be a part of this community.

And I went to a bloggers’ meet up at the Melbourne Museum one recent Sunday. It was a Blog with Pip meet up - hosted by the lovely Pip Lincolne. We did look at the exhibits (and take photos), but spent a lot of time chatting about creativity, and blogging - where it’s heading, the importance of making a difference rather than just creating content, and the amazing way the internet has brought us together. And we laughed a lot. It was so relaxing - an enjoyable way to spend a Sunday morning.

There was no competition at these in-person meet ups. No competing to be heard or to disagree or to be the best at anything. And no direction to do things a certain way - everyone's views and methods were right. So refreshing.

This time spent with likeminded people brings out the best in us. It makes us think, and have positive conversations, and inspires us to do more and be better, don’t you think?

The Pipsters were:

Emily - squiggleandswirl
Naomi - Naomi Loves
Jacqui - Bird and Fox
Pip - Meet Me At Mike's
Kate - One Small Life
Michelle - Girl Gone Home

...And a couple who don't blog yet.

 

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One plus four equals life.

I've been wanting to do a regular weekend post for a while. And I think I can commit to this! Pip has started this photo challenge called One + Four = Life. She explains: "The idea is that each week you choose four images to sum up the week, and you publish them on your blog or Instagram or Facebook." You should take part too!

So, my week. It's been quite busy - tying up loose ends and doing social things at night. I've also been sore. Here's my life this week.

I met Adam Hills in his robe after his comedy festival show. He is a lovely guy! His show has been my favourite - he's so friendly and funny - a genuinely nice person.

On Monday we had dinner with some friends who moved to Perth. There was a $10 Parma special on - and I took half mine home for lunch the next day. I love these candid shots of Adam and I. Cute!

I've been busy designing an eCourse (on blogging of course!). The first step is creating a small course in ebook form for members of a disability advocacy organisation. And the next step is to put that information (plus heaps more) on a website for the course that I will deliver to new bloggers. It's been fun, though challenging as I've been teaching myself page layout. Lila Wolff designed my awesome logo - her suggestions helped me come up with the name. I'm so excited!

And last night we had some delicious flavoured milk from a cute cafe - we added Baileys to it! I love these handmade cups that I bought for my 32nd birthday. So cheerful

Next week is going to be a busy one too! I'm travelling and adjusting to a new role. And I have to make finishing arrangements for the Ichthyosis meet, plus start editing the stories for Ichthyosis awareness month. Am I busy enough?

Thank you for your lovely comments on Thursday's identity crisis post too. I felt so uplifted and reassured that I'm not alone. My community is the best!

I'm awake so early! The alarm has just gone off - and I'm so excited because Adam chose a Savage Garden song for the alarm. I love those little things! Mum is here today and we will have a lovely day together, shopping and eating. I can't wait to see her :)

Have a great day!

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Identity crisis.

I've got an identity crisis - a career crisis to be exact. I came home and cooked dinner a few weeks ago and thought, is this all there is? And I didn't mean what was on my plate. I mean, I know I have SO much good going on in my life, and I am grateful for everything. But this daily grind - is THIS all there is? 12 years in, and I'm here. Is this a 33 year old crisis?

I know where I want to be.With a great sense of resentment, I feel like this isn't what I've worked for. I don't want to do anything I don't enjoy, anything that I'm not good at, anything that's not instrumental in creating positive change. And I realise how entitled that sounds - a Gen-Y expecting everything to fall into her lap. But that's not it at all. It's not entitlement. It's something else. And I have slowly realised what it is. I remember when I got back from overseas in 2012. I'd done all these amazing things including speaking at a university conference. I feared that one day I'd fall hard out of the enjoyment zone and hit the ground with a thud, a reality that I was no longer travelling and had to fit in all the nice-to-dos around the core responsibility that funds them. That happened. I suffered holiday withdrawals for months. And it happened again recently. Last year was SO amazing, so action packed, so intrinsically rewarding that it's been a big comedown. But that was more than just holiday withdrawals. That year was about finding my purpose. I have realised there's a danger in getting praise and validation for the things I'm good at and passionate about - because the mundane becomes difficult to bear. There was one day recently when I felt so undervalued, yet my byline was on the front page of an online newspaper. People were actively discussing what I'd written because it mattered to them, yet a simple task I did for someone else went without a thank you.

It's not about an inflated ego, but realising my purpose and worth and the things that matter to me. It's also about experiencing hierarchy - which I've always struggled with. At times I am a big fish - an authority in some subject matter. But mostly I am a little fish - where my opinion doesn't matter. And then I want to shout out "I am capable of more, don't you see that?". (I almost want to say "don't you know who I am?!", but that would be about an inflated ego!) I am an influencer in blogging and social media, disability and appearance diversity activism and advocacy, but I can't influence a decision elsewhere.

I gave my first paid social media consultation to a client (friend) recently. It felt so good to have my skills and knowledge valued and utilised.

It's hard to moonlight. Switching between two modes of thinking and climbing different hierarchies is exhausting. The hardest thing is when my passion spills over and I am told that my passion is a detriment. I feel too mouthy, too rebellious - despite being one of the most sensible and conservative people I know. I had hoped being named one of Australia's 100 Women of Influence would open doors, not close them. It seems that being out and proud about disability is confronting for people. And their prejudices - perhaps about my disability, and perhaps about my activism and public profile - show. I am not going to stop being true to myself.
Someone told me I can't have it both ways - I can't expect success in both careers. That upset me a lot. Maybe this is my version of not being able to have it all.

I constantly feel like I need to prove myself in the corporate arena. Constantly. That I'm more than a red face, that I am educated, capable, skilled, accomplished, that the illness component of Ichthyosis is not a liability and the appearance component is not something for people to be uncomfortable with. But perhaps this is all I'm going to get. This is all I will amount to and be expected of. And I am not ok with that.
I've worked too bloody hard to settle.

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How to write sponsored + gifted blog and social media posts with integrity.

I am a blogger and a blog reader. I've been doing both for a long time. One of the trickiest things about writing and reading blogs, and following bloggers on social media, is sponsored content, and how to create it with integrity.

I think it’s important to discuss this topic - but it can be difficult to discuss openly, and sometimes it's done undercover and with snark, which isn't good either. So, here goes. It's a long's. I've created a handy printable (saveable?) for you at the end of this post, if you'd like to refer to it later.

Sponsored content is essentially advertising - product placement. Sponsored content on blogs comes in the form of sponsored posts (also known as native advertising), banner and sidebar ads and affiliate links. Bloggers are paid to write sponsored content, paid for clicks through to brands via ads, and receive commission when people purchase via an affiliate link. There are also gifted posts on blogs and social media - where bloggers receive products and services for free to review. I see gifted content as being no different to sponsored content - receiving a freebie may impact on whether the blogger writes about it, and whether a positive or negative review is written.

I am not averse to sponsored or gifted content. Bloggers need to make money. But I don’t like it when it’s not done with integrity. I like immediate disclosure, relevance to the blog and infrequency.

I do the occasional sponsored or gifted post (I've done two sponsored posts in the past 18 months), run sidebar ads and have a partnership with clothing store St Frock. The store sends me pretty dresses and I pose in them for social media, and if people buy the clothes I wear, I get a commission. I’ve gone to stage shows and had a interstate trip - I’ve been very lucky. (And I've also received things I was not keen on, which made it hard to write about.)

But I always disclose if I have been paid to write something or if I was given a product. I don’t let these types of posts take over my blog or social accounts. And the products I showcase will always fit with my lifestyle and values. I will never ‘sell’ you something I don’t use or doesn’t fit with my values And, as outlined in my health blogger’s pledge, I will never sell you a medical treatment - because I don't know if or how that treatment will work for you.

I recently saw a series of sponsored tweets from an influential blogger I admire. I did a double take. The content was not written in their style - it was in the voice of the brand. A copy and paste from a press release, perhaps. And the product certainly did not fit with the theme and values of their blog - I’ve never seen mention of that aspect of their life on their blog or social media. If I am honest, I felt disappointed and lost trust in the blogger - and my thoughts around those tweets was the impetus for this post.

Some of my blog readers (many of whom are also bloggers) told me what they think. Almost all of those who answered my questions about sponsored and gifted content said they like disclosure at the top of the blog or social media post. They also said they enjoy refreshing, creative sponsored posts, not too many sidebar ads, and content written in the blogger’s voice (rather than in advertising speak).

A few bloggers were ambivalent - let them earn money from blogging, they told me.

Some of my readers don’t like sponsored content at all. A blogger told me:

“If I see it is a sponsored post I click off immediately and their credibility for me has been tainted.”

And a reader said:

"I don't like to see so many that it looks like the blogger is just trying a money-grab: buy this, buy that. And whether I'm reading for pleasure or purpose I want to feel like the blog is the owner's passion, and not just a money-making gig."

A 2014 study by Contently revealed that readers’ trust decreases upon reading sponsored content. Contently stated:

• "Two-thirds of readers have felt deceived upon realizing that an article or video was sponsored by a brand.
• 54 percent of readers don’t trust sponsored content.
• 59 percent of readers believe a news site loses credibility if it runs articles sponsored by a brand.
• As education level increases, so does mistrust of sponsored content.”

Readers may click away, or not return to the blog if they feel the sponsored content has discredited the blogger or brand in some way. Maybe it's not a god fit, or seems out of place or is something that a reader finds inappropriate? I do believe readers should be considered before taking on sponsored or gifted opportunities.

One veteran blogger believes the readership of sponsored content is different to the readership of non-sponsored content. And I agree. She told me:

"I think that bloggers that do a LOT of sponsored posts are mostly read by other bloggers - not so much by the general public. I think it's BLOGGERS that understand the whys and wherefores of sponsored posts. My feeling is that the general public would be confused if they visited a blog that had weekly (or more) sponsored posts… It's not very engaging and it's mostly bloggers that get the context of them (not the wider community). So if you want a broad readership (which consists of more than other bloggers who want to be signed with an agency too!) you might want to think carefully about your approach to this."

Here are my tips for sponsored content done with integrity - from a blogger and reader perspective.

Disclose immediately.

Disclose before you write the body of the post. Disclose in the subject line if you want to. This gives your readers a chance to keep scrolling if they don't want to read it, just like they might flick over to another TV channel if an ad comes on.

I write: “This post was sponsored by [insert brand]” or “I received tickets to [performance] for review” at the start of the blog post, or "[Gifted post]", "I'm a guest of..." or #gifted on my social media posts.

My examples of disclosure are as follows:

Sponsored blog post:

Gifted blog post:

Gifted social media post:

A gifted social media post featuring an example of "I'm a guest of...":

And sometimes I feel the need to disclose if I have not been paid to write something, like the review of Attitude that I was asked to write in order to promote the show:

I feel duped if I get to the bottom of the post and find out it’s sponsored or contains affiliate links. Was this story really true? Was I sucked in? Did the blogger really enjoy or purchase the products they’ve mentioned in the post? Did the blogger make money out of my clicks without me knowing?

I’ve seen some bloggers have a separate page about their sponsorship policy on their blog, outlining the conditions for review, a statement that some posts might include affiliate links and how to get in touch with them if a brand wants them to showcase their product. This is great, but it’s not enough if disclosure is not stated on the blog post itself.

Continue to write in your own voice.

I find it so difficult to write sponsored posts. Usually they require a personal story with the product details woven in. They take me much longer to write than a regular blog post. I don’t want it to read like a blatant ad. I like reading sponsored posts that read just like every other blog post on a blog. I think food bloggers do a great job of weaving brand information into their posts. I love seeing how different bloggers create a recipe with the same product, or share a family tradition or photograph produce interestingly.

Ensure the sponsored posts, ads and affiliate links fit your niche, values and lifestyle.

I am not going to write about a product a don’t or can’t use. I also won't write it if it doesn't fit with my values. It’s not fair on me (writing a sponsored post is HARD!) or my readers. It would reduce my credibility.

Last year I was offered a product that would give me soft feet by removing the top layer of skin. I laughed a lot. Oh the irony. Then I wrote back thanking them for the offer and saying that my skin does this naturally, and it’s not a product I could write about. The PR lady just didn't think. I was also offered tickets to a baby show - which I politely declined and suggested a pregnant bloggy friend receive them. (But now that I’m getting married, I will consider doing sponsored or gifted content about a wedding fair or product.)

It's great when advertising agencies let bloggers opt out of sponsored posts or sidebar ads because they don't align with their values or lifestyle. I remember when a blogger I love was asked to write about alcohol. That blogger is a recovering alcoholic. They politely declined the opportunity. This was a great example of how a brand got it wrong, and how a blogger had the integrity to decline because of their lifestyle and values.

Don’t run sponsored content too often.

We see a lot of advertising in the media, on the roads, in train stations, on our phones. I don’t want a blog to be taken over by ads. I read blogs for interesting content.

A couple of years ago, when blog monetisation really started to take off, I read a blog that was divided into vertical thirds. One third was the blog posts. Funny, mommy blogger type stuff. And two thirds was advertising! Two thirds. I clicked away.

I want to see more traditional blog content (stories, tutorials, creative writing) than sponsored content. But that’s just me.

Don’t contradict yourself.

A blogger might write (on their blog or social media) that they had a bad experience with a brand. The product was shit. They received bad customer service. And then all of their readers gets behind them, slagging off they brand too. And then, a few months down the track, the blogger does a 360 and write a sponsored post for this brand. Or a blogger might rave about the importance of organic, locally grown food, and then writes a sponsored post from a supermarket chain the following week.

Total contradictions.

Opinions about a brand, product or service should not change because one is being paid or gifted to write about them! And readers can spot this!

Question whether you are paid enough to to lose readers.

Sometimes bloggers lose readers because they do sponsored blog posts. Readers don't like them, they just want to read about the bloggers' lives. And so they don't continue reading. Kalen Smith wrote for Problogger about how sponsored blog posts can damage readership. Kalen said:

"Taking sponsored posts can be risky. Is it really worth alienating yourself from your readers and damaging your position with the search engines in order to make a quick buck?"

A blogger friend told me:

"I remember reading something long ago that you need to make sure you get paid enough when you do sponsored content to "cover" losing readers for each sponsored post you do.”

I remember hearing this statement too. In doing some research about this idea of losing followers, I found a quote from International News Media Association (INMA):

"We need to be careful not to sell our souls for short-term dollars."

Yes.

If I am promoting something compromising or personal or embarrassing (like vibrators or diet shakes or admitting I’ve needed a lawyer - none of which I have or will ever write about) I’d want to get paid more than if I wrote about a clothing line or trip away.

And I know my worth. I recently turned down an offer to run wedding-related sponsored posts on my blog - the brand was offering $10 a post. Considering my freelancing rate is $300 an article, and I get around 70,000 hits on my blog a month, and I've won some awards, this offer of $10 was not worth it.

Ensure there’s something in it for the reader.

Sponsored or gifted posts that have something in it for the reader are really great! It may involve a giveaway or a discount on their products. I really liked working with Ford and Kidspot on this blog post where I reviewed a Ford for payment, and gave away $500 from Temple and Webster to a reader. Something in it for me, and something in it for the reader! Win-win.

I don’t tend to like seeing bloggers list all the free stuff they received - it can come across as a bit braggy, and I wonder where they put it all!

Don't use your power as a blogger or social media influencer to ask for an upgrade. Don't fish for free stuff.

Sadly some bloggers do this - publicly asking hotels and airlines for an upgrade. There's an implied promise of a good review if it's granted (and perhaps a bad review if they don't receive one). Someone, I really can't recall who, gave wise advice: "ask privately, praise publicly". I like that.

Similarly, it looks tacky if bloggers post photos of products they love on their blog or social media accounts, hankering to get one, linking in or tagging the brand...just hoping that product arrives in the post. Why don't they save their money earned from blogging to buy that product - I'm sure they'll appreciate the product more!

Don’t define blogging success by sponsored posts.

For a couple of years, I thought the epitome of blogging success was working with brands. I felt left out because I wasn’t being offered these opportunities or being signed up to blogging agencies. NO ONE WANTED TO WORK WITH A CHRONIC ILLNESS BLOGGER! And then I realised that it’s not my type of success anyway (but it’s also ok if bloggers define THEIR success this way!). I’ve given this a lot of thought and have now defined my success as a blogger.

There are other ways to make money from blogging.

I don’t do many sponsored posts, and my sidebar ads are not raking in the money. But I make money in other ways because of my blog - writing, speaking, consulting and teaching. Soon I will have an e-course out, and I am creating a small themed e-book.

There are lots of other ways to make money through blogging, without compromising your content and readership. Problogger lists a lot of ways to make money blogging - many that I hadn’t even considered.

Lastly, I am not the blogging police. As a seasoned blogger and blog reader (blogging since 2001), I hope to add my guiding voice to the blogging community. And I want to discuss these issues, because the blogosphere is constantly changing. And there are no rules. Ultimately, it’s up to individual bloggers to blog as they wish - sponsored posts or not. I would just like it to be done with some integrity.

Further reading:

Brand Meets Blog has a great guide for bloggers who want to work with brands.

Problogger outlines how much a blogger should charge for a sponsored post.

I Heart Fashion Bloggers has a post about featuring products you don't like but your readers do.

Decor8 has a post asking whether bloggers can live off hugs and rainbows?

Clickhole or Die has an article about how The Fight Over 'Sponsored Content' Is 150 Years Old.

A printable for you:

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Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2015 - Hannah Gadsby, Barnie Duncan and Emma J Hawkins

Disclaimer: I was given free tickets to see Calypso Nights. I paid to see Hannah Gadsby and Emma J Hawkins. Actually, Adam paid for tickets to Emma's show, but I bought him dinner. All opinions are my own.

The Melbourne International Comedy Festival is one of my most favourite times of the year. Melbourne is just buzzing. I love the sense of community and the talent across the huge number of shows on offer. I'd like to see more shows than I can afford (in time and money) every year! So far I've seen three shows, and will see another tonight. Here are my reviews. 

Hannah Gadsby: Donkey - Melbourne Town Hall

(source)

Hannah Gadsby's show Donkey has nothing to do with donkeys. It's a deeply personal show about her mental health - a common theme through her shows (that I've seen at least). For years she believed she had depression. Much of her comedic material was based on this. But then, with a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) age 37, she worried that her career would be thrown out by this new diagnosis. Alas! There's plenty more material for future shows, she said! She is so clever - while admitting to a life of disorganisation, she's created a beautuful, thought provoking and courageous show without writing a single word down.

In her usual self deprecating yet humorous style, she talked the audience through what was the breaking point for taking control of her mental health, and the sense of relief when she received the ADHD diagnosis. Everything made sense - this diagnosis was the explanation for her behaviour.

At times, I felt sympathy and empathy - I wanted to extend a hug upon hearing stories of. There was a point in the show where she discussed self harm, and while she made light of it, she also depicted the brutality of mental illness. It was an uncomfortable watch for a moment.

I've realised and rejoiced in the sense of identity, relief and belonging that comes with a diagnosis. Hannah explored this throughout her show. She doesn't believe her illness should be classed as a disorder, and said that everyone is on the spectrum in some way - much like the comments from this specialist on World Autism Day.

"I love my brain, I'm happy with it", Hannah said, rejoicing that her brain is creative, allowing her to write (though she doesn't write anything down) over 20 comedy shows/

And the most poignant line of the show for me was "We've built a world that only celebrates one kind of brain - sociopath" - the same could apply to one kind of body - highlighting the difficulty of the 'normal' ideal.

Five stars.

(If you need to talk to someone about mental illness, call LifeLine on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.)

Barnie Duncan: Calypso Nights - The Tuxedo Cat

I give credit to Barnie Duncan for performing all of his show Calyspo Nights in a thick Spanish accent. He spoke in Spanish for a third of the show - acting as a Venezuelan DJ. It was great acting. Barnie is a New Zealand actor who's appeared in Shortland Street, Outrageous Fortune, the Power Rangers and Xena, to name a few.

Calypso Nights featured lots of record playing, maraca shaking and sultry hip swaying. At times I found the show a little slow - perhaps due to the radio static, and I wasn't keen on the dick jokes, but overall it was a fun hour.  I LOVED his shirt, self-described as "the most beautiful shirt in the world".

Barnie did well to foster non-embarassing audience participation throughout the show - the peak was at the end where we danced in a group hug. 

Three stars. 

Emma J Hawkins: I am not a unicorn - The Northcote Town Hall

Adam and I, plus a group of friends, went to see Emma J Hawkins last night. We've come to know Emma through Quippings, where we've both performed.

Her comedy festival show was the most theatrical of the three I've seen - it was a lavish production of music, comedy and dancing. She warns the audience that the show features "a short statured person defying stereotypes".

Emma challenged the stereotypes of disability - talking about her morning routine and many of the assumptions people make about her (she can have sex, she is not funny eating a banana, and you can call her Emma). She used a unicorn as a metaphor for disability superbly - addressing the way people with disability are typecast as inspirational, brave, stupid and for the public's voyeuristic gaze. I especially enjoyed (and related to) her account of the rude questions people have asked her - the punch coming from when a narrator (a 'normal', picked from the audience) set those stereotypes straight.

I said to Emma after the show, I hope the people who need to hear these messages about disability attend the show.

Emma is a versatile performer. She is funny, candid, swears like a sailor and is a brilliant booty shaker.

Four stars.

Buy tickets to all shows via the Melbourne International Comedy Festival website.

Have you seen any shows at the Comedy Festival? 

Who is your favourite comedian?

Things to do on the Easter long weekend.

The Easter long weekend has begun! I am incredibly excited about four days of doing very little – I’ll catch a couple of comedy shows, declutter, write, and watch some Netflix (so excited it’s arrived in Australia! My fave section of Netflix is the indie films).

What are you going to do? I have some suggestions if you’ve got time to spare.

Why don’t you…

Discover some new blogs - I created a list of fantastic blogs related to disability and chronic illness.


Cook hot cross bun and butter pudding. It is SO delicious. 

Make cheese. Start on Easter Saturday and you'll have supper on Easter Sunday.

Download new podcasts.

Learn some tips for travelling with ichthyosis (or other disabilities).

Become more productive.

Learn how to pitch your writing.

Have you got any tips for me for the long weekend?

10 pieces of advice for moving in with your partner

Adam and I had lunch with a couple of our friends on the March long weekend. They are adorably in love and will be moving in together soon. One friend, like me, has lived alone for a while. She asked us if there's any advice we'd have for moving in with her partner. And we did!

It's almost a year since Adam moved in with me, and to be honest, we're still adjusting. It is so wonderful to have someone to come home to every day, but housework has been a sticking point. He's had to get used to my skin (he's done incredibly well - even converting to low allergy products, and knowing when I need a Phenergan because I can't stop scratching), and I've had to get used to his music tastes (NOTHING like mine) and blokey TV choices (car shows and Mythbusters).

It was our one year anniversary of getting engaged on Wednesday, so this post is so timely!

1) Make sure you can get a water tank that gives you enough hot water, or coordinate so no one has a cold shower. My water tank is really small, so we have to leave at least 30 minutes between showers. For a long time Adam was braving a partially cold shower. But when I had a shower 15 minutes after him one day, I asked why the water went cold and he let it slip that this happens to him too if I have the first shower (and I have a long, hot one!). In the week, he gets up at 6.00 am and I shower at 7.00 am and this gives us plenty of hot water each.

2( Draw up a roster for housework. It doesn't have to be formal - it can just be a routine that if one of you cooks, the other does the dishes.

3) Do chores straight away (and together to halve the time). I admit I'm not so great at this - especially folding washing - but I have learnt that if I do this straight away, it gives me more time to do the things I want to do without feeling guilty.

4) Split the money stuff in the way you can afford it. Adam and I split the bills and rent 50/50, but sometimes he buys more groceries than me, and I buy dinners out (or vice versa), and I know that if the time came to move, I'd be ok covering most of the rent if he covers bills.

5) Start a savings fund for the two of you. You could choose to pool all of your money (which we haven't), but I do suggest you start joint savings fund. We are saving for a wedding and a honeymoon and so we opened up a high interest account (I wish we'd set this up earlier!), but you might like to save for a holiday or a house or emergencies. We will continue to save after the wedding too.

5) Cook together. Because food is love. I love cooking with Adam - making pizzas on a Saturday night is one of my favourite things to do. It is fun, we've learnt new skills (he's great at making the dough!) and then we have a yummy home cooked meal.

7) Have screen-free time. Adam will tell you I spend WAY too much time in front of the screen. But turning off the screen allows time for talking, laughing and togetherness. And hugs are better when you're looking at each other not looking at Facebook. Maybe I should follow Smaggle's lead of 9.00 pmscreen-free time.

8) Go on a date once a week/fortnight/whatever you can afford. Our dates usually involve food, mostly brunch and dumplings. But we've recently been to Cirque Du Soleil and Thriller.

9) Keep the romance alive. I wear pyjamas almost all the time when I am home (what of it? I like being comfortable!) and Adam's seen me pull my stocking from my bloody, weepy leg and stick cotton buds up my nose. So there are no secrets. But it's nice to keep the romance going like when we first met. I write him cards and make sure I dress up when I go out. He fixes things, and that is very romantic and useful!

10) Make time to be alone for a few hours each week. I love it when Adam goes to cubs because it means I can spend time writing, playing music and enjoying my own company. And he loves it because he gets to be a leader and do fun, outdoorsy things.

That's all Adam and I can think of. Got any tips?