An open letter to Evan at the Apple store, Doncaster

So as mentioned, I went to the Apple store this morning to have my iPhone replaced. I hauled ass to Doncaster - I don't quote Clueless lightly - when I say I hauled ass, I mean it. I had to forfeit a lie in past 8.30 am on my holiday and drive down the Eastern and navigate through a shopping centre I've barely orienteered before. It is school holidays, the peak of staring season, and children's eyeballs (and screeches of me being sunburnt) pierced me everywhere I walked. That alone is tiring.

When I arrived at the Apple store, slightly sore from the walk through (my skin is not yet feeling great), regretting my matching underwear purchase from Big W (the undies did not look comfortable - I later returned them, citing 'major impulse buy' as my reason for return') and hungry (I yearned for some Salsa's Mex Grill action) I realised that everyone working there was so much cooler than me.

As I was checked in and waited in line, I was greeted by the nicest sales person ever. Evan.

I'm not a huge fan of sales people - purely because I encounter too many rude/unattentive/pushy ones. I used to be a checkout/sales floor chick in a large department store, and I believe if I am not given the same level of service that I gave back in the day, it's not good enough. I choose to use the self-serve check out in the supermarket because I'd rather not be greeted by a person who doesn't smile and packs my washing powder in with my meat. I feel invisible in some stores because I don't fit the pretty girl mould. That said, there are numerous sales people that I have been highly impressed with and regularly return to the stores they work at.

Evan was amazing. He remembered me from last time when my iPhone screen was smashed and I was inaudible to callers because of the skin/vaseline issue. Last time he recommended some plugs for the power and earphone ports (I bought them) and today he asked me whether they did the right job. I said no, and he recommended I try the Otta case which makes the iPhone water tight. I will browse the internet tonight in search of an Otter. Baby otters are so cute. And finally I can have one.

Otta, I mean.

Evan wasn't grossed out by my oily, skinny iPhone issue. He was compassionate, empathetic and as professional as a doctor, despite working as an Apple Genius. On the Julia Zemiro scoring system, I award 100 million points to Evan, just for this!

It is not often my 'special needs' are considered when I make a purchase or accept hospitality. Just recently at the Powderfinger concert, I had to speak with three people to make a decision about whether the cap could be left on my water bottle so I didn't lose any water from it as I bounced around the moshpit. They told me it was dangerous for me to have a cap on my bottle - it could be used as a weapon. I told them that I doubt I'd be using it as a weapon when all I want to do is keep hydrated. I won the argument. I kept the cap. (Note to self - must take spare bottle cap to next concert at Rod Laver Arena.)

Anyway.

My iPhone was seen to by another Genius and replaced straight away. It's restored and working fine - I have received three calls on it today and no complaints about me being too far away.

I also took my MacBook in to be looked at - the sticky keys are becoming a problem. I believe it's also due to the vaseline/skin issue, despite a silicone cover and regular brushing and wiping. Evan booked me in to see a Mac Genius on the spot, and after a short wait, he came back to talk to me about the problems I'm having with it. The wait was nice because all I did was stare at my wallpaper, which is Callan Mulvey and I on that fine day. Gosh he is a glorious man. It's not often I stare at him for 20 minutes.

I digress. (But don't you agree, Callan is fine?!)

Evan told me my MacBook would need to be left behind for a service and repair and this would take three to five days. I am going away soon, not returning for over a week. And so I asked whether I can book it in for repair when I return. He arranged for this.

The second lot of 100 million points I award to him is for laughing at my email address. Itchy_81. Often when I tell people this, particularly over the phone, I can hear them thinking 'ummm okkkkaaaaay' as though I am making reference to a nasty skin condition that I probably shouldn't mention. But I guess because Evan understood my situation, and was compassionate towards it, he saw the humour in my email address.

Ok, so I know Evan was just doing his job. I didn't get any special treatment - he was fabulous to all the customers he saw. But his compassion and attention and humour, and just damn good customer service made my day.

Thank you Evan at Apple Doncaster. You put a smile on my face today. A thousand million points to you for your brilliant customer service.

EDIT: Otta case for iPhone ordered :) Unfortunately it does not look like this :(

iSkin and iPhones :/ - an open letter to Steve Jobs

My life is a haze (slippery slope?) of vaseline and dead skin. That's the reality of it. Icky to the non acquainted/OCD type. But that's my life.

My life is also jam packed with Apple products. Ok maybe not jam packed, but most of my technology needs are satisfied by Steve Jobs. I have an iPhone, iPod Touch and MacBook Pro. I am madly in love with the latter two. They are beautiful. And functional. More so beautiful. Actually my T key is a little sticky on my MacBook Pro, and I am unable to do eTax on it, so a little irritation has crept into my love.

My iPod Touch is the most wonderful music player I have ever had. I dreamed of playing four hours of Savage Garden when I was 15, and now I can do this. Last year I had an operation, and during the pre-op check up, I needed to give a wee sample. Who knew the iPhone Touch could assist me with this?! I downloaded the Shy Bladder app a few months earlier, in jest really. I thought it would be as much use as the cigarette lighter flame app I downloaded (zero use). When my wee didn't flow naturally, I returned to my doctor's room, grabbed my iPod and headphones and took them back to the toilet, assuring the doctor I'd explain when I returned. After a bit of waterfall sound effects through my Sennheisers (and pleased that I wasn't wasting water when our dams were at their lowest), my wee flowed. And when I returned to the doctor's room, I explained the need for my iPod in the toilet and he laughed and laughed. Ingenious.

But the iPhone is not the best thing to come into my life like others believe theirs to be.

I vowed not to be one of those who succumbed to an iPhone. I really only need a phone to make calls and take the occasional (crummy) photo. But last September, about a year ago actually, I lost my phone (a basic Nokia) in a taxi on the way to ChIPS camp. Optus had previously stuffed up my account whereby they didn't sign me up to the plan I believed I was on, and so I was credited about $700, so when it came to replacing my phone, I thought, what the hell, I'll get an iPhone because I won't have to pay a bill for a while. And I didn't - it's only been since about June this year that I have started paying my mobile bills again. When I bought it, it was pretty good - like no other phone I had. I didn't have my MacBook Pro then, so it was a handy portable device. But then things went awry.

I have had three iPhones in a year. Soon to be four.

My skin and vaseline don't mix with the iPhone. The first iPhone was replaced because the microphone failed. No one could hear me on the phone. I could hear them though. The speaker component also suffers - my ring tone and alarm are bearly audible.

I believe it is due to skin and vaseline blocking the microphone/speaker, despite my vigilant cleaning with a dry toothbrush (sometimes I do this while waiting at the train station and people freak out - RELAX - the toothbrush has NEVER been wet or in my mouth!).

The second iPhone smashed when it was dropped. I waited six weeks to get a replacement through home and contents insurance. My beautiful looking iPhone became like this ugly witchy Barbie doll I once got as a part of a Snow White and Wicked Stepmother set, aged four. I couldn't bear to look at the smashed screen, it reminded me of this Barbie doll. And black glass bits kept of flaking off, leaving a sticky residue. It was usable - I could make calls, check emails and Facebook, but there was also the problem of the microphone and my skin.

This current iPhone has lasted since May. People have complained they cannot hear me when I call them. So on Wednesday it is back to the Apple store where I hope to get another replacement.

Despite using a cover and little plugs in the power bit, my iPhone is not ichthyosis friendly.

Steve Jobs - you have enough money and compassion to design one where the microphone is protected from my skin and vaseline. If you are reading this and got all the way through it, I thank you, and hope you will understand the skin and vaseline issue is not due to me kinkily using my iPhone.

Steve Jobs, I challenge you to consider redesigning the iPhone to make it more accessible for me. I don't want to have to be constantly replacing my phone.

Thank you.