On Saturday, very unexpectedly, I bought my wedding dress.
I never thought I'd try one on. I never thought I'd be a bride. I never thought love would be so good. Those nevers have now been banished to "of course I will". Because my path has changed.
I'm no longer single, no longer thinking I will be a spinster, and I no longer worry about the surprise people get when I say 'my fiancé'.
Mum and I took a walk in my neighbourhood. I knew there was a bridal store nearby, but I didn't know there was a sale. We hadn't planned on shopping that day, we were planning to look in Sydney Road today. By chance there was an appointment spot available. We went to get food and I bought a new bra because I always seem to wear the wrong bra when I try on clothes. Always too busty or not enough support.
I didn't think buying a wedding dress would be such a good experience! I had some silly worries. All the dresses looked impractical for me - sleeveless and boned. The ones with sleeves were quite austere. Would I fit into a smaller size? I still have my cheese chub from France. Would I be too cold trying the dresses on? All the brides-to-be posed in the middle of the floor - did I want them (and their mothers) seeing me too?
And then I met Louise, a woman who recognised me from the BUPA Health Activist awards last year. We got chatting about wedding plans - she's getting married back home in the UK, and her dress is amazing - and that calmed my nerves a bit.
I chose five dresses off the rack - I knew what style I wanted because I have been pinning since he put a ring on it. I also had a styling session with Megan Harding last week - she gave me advice about the shape of the dress, the ideal colour for my skin tone, and the neckline that would suit my bust.
I was incredibly excited. For an hour I felt like a princess, like I was in a rags to riches fairytale movie, like I was dreaming. As I looked at myself in the full length mirror, next to the other brides-to-be, I felt like I was someone else. The corsets shaped my waist, the satin skimmed my body. I will be a bride!
And then Mum came over with a dress she thought I'd like. It was not the style I'd been pinning. It was not the style I thought I'd ever choose, I hadn't even pinned a style like it. But when I put it on, it was the perfect one. My Mum knows me well.
I bought my wedding dress on Saturday. Mum and I had tears in our eyes. I choked up. We both never imagined this day. Who would have thought?
The dress is with my trusty bridesmaid now, because there's no place to hide it now Adam and I live together! Adam chose his suit yesterday (it's perfect too - he looks smokin'). We've checked out a venue already. We are in wedding mode and loving it! We're talking rings and name changes and playlists. Everything is secret squirrel until the big day, later next year. It's so exciting!