09 November 2012

Vaseline bling. On trend for dry skin.

Ichthyosis can be inconvenient. Using vast amounts of paraffin (I will call it Vaseline) to moisturise my entire body is especially inconvenient. While I am quite clumsy, Ichthyosis/Vaseliney hands aside, my catching skills are compromised by my oily grip. And nothing says romantic like a case of acne pash-rash caused by my Vaseliney face puckering up to another. Boys, you know where to find me.

My handbag is generally filled with all kinds of shit necessary stuff. It's like a portable pharmacy, with eye drops, pawpaw ointment, antihistamine, panadol and a bandaid. Because I am clumsy. I also carry around a small jar of Vaseline. In my day handbag, it is a glass jar, filled with the paraffin scooped out from the bigger jars from the pharmacy.

When I go out at night and take a smaller bag, it's generally a small Vaseline container, usually bought from the supermarket or sometimes the 7/11 if I am feeling rich/forgot my usual supply.

On a side note, I realised while at work that I had forgot my Vaseline and even though my face was very well moisturised, I suddenly felt like the world would end and my skin could shrivel up like a lizard at any time. So I went to the nearest 7/11 to purchase a jar of Vaseline but could not see any. So I asked the sales assistant. He was foreign, there was a language barrier, and he did not know what it was. He asked me where it would normally be kept. "Uhh right near the condoms and lubricants" I told him. He told me to look again. Still none so I walked another 100 metres to a chemist.

When purchasing said jar of Vaseline from a supermarket or 7/11, I pick the one from the back of the shelf, opening it and checking it to see whether there are any fingerprints or scoops taken out of it. Desperate times cause for desparate measures, and I expect many a sneaky customer to get a sneaky scoop of vasso Vaseline to use as lube lipgloss. People are weird, right. And a little bit grotty.

The bag I take out at night is generally a lot smaller than my handbag for the day time. So I get a mini jar of Vaseline for these occasions. When I went to the Layne Beachley ball, I bought a very glamorous clutch bag. It was rigid and roomy to hold my Vaseline, yet so glamourous. And it cost almost $100. Only, on the night, with my phone, small purse, lipstick (I've become a lipstick wearer since London) and tissues, plus my little jar, the very expensive and glamourous clutch bag would not shut. My clutch's lid was like a Muppet's mouth. Not so glam.

So when I saw this pre-decorated jar of Vaseline on the Puberty Blues Facebook page, I thought it was the perfect accessory for me.

If I shoved my money down my bra and carried my phone like a hyper-connected teenager, I would not need a bag. Or jewellery? It'd be like a glow mesh jar of Vaseline. The on trend accessory for those with Ichthyosis.


Where can I get one? What fashion houses are doing them? I'd prefer mine in silver.

I guess if I had a bedazzler, I could make one myself.


  1. That is super cute! I could totally see you having one of those and making every single one of us want to go out and get one too.
    By the way, LOVE this part:
    " Desperate times cause for disparate measures, and I expect many a sneaky customer to get a sneaky scoop of vasso Vaseline to use as lube lipgloss. People are weird, right. And a little bit grotty."

    Couldn't stop laughing.

  2. I have a friend who has a business blinging things up, I'm sure she would make one for you. https://www.facebook.com/sparklzcustomdesignz?ref=ts&fref=ts

    I suffer the evening handbag syndrome too and I don't need to fit vasso in there! Although most evening events also involve taking a second pair of dance shoes so I'm generally carrying a tiny clutch and lugging a big shoe bag. Great look (not).

    This was very funny.

  3. "He was foreign, there was a language barrier, and he did not know what it was"

    Those pesky foreigners, don't know anything do they?

    Choose your words wisely Carly

    1. Thanks Anonymous for pulling me into line. I was stating the situation. There was a language barrier. I chose my words quite wisely

    2. I agree with Carly, it is possible to state that the man was foreign which is the source of the language barrier.

      She didn't say "because the guy was French/Chinese/Spanish Etc. He didn't understand"

      The inference is completely different.

  4. i used to work for a craft manufacturer that sold adhesive rhinestones that you can buy from spotlight. :)

    they would be perfect to bling your tub of vaseline!

  5. Carly - call the producers of Puberty Blues and ask them the question. Better still, ask if they have any spare ones that can mail you!!!

    Maybe they can tell you where it was from, contact the makers and if you advertise it here on your blog in return for getting one or two for nothing from the makers!!!

    "You've got to be in it to win it" :-)

    PS - speaking as someone with a very bad memory from my neuro. disease, why don't you put a reminder on the back of your front door saying "Have you packed the ointment"??

    .... plus if you have a few handbags you always use why not keep a jar of the ointment in each handbag so that you'll always have it no matter which handbag it is? I do this with each of my bags - ventolin, handcream, tissues and notebook and pen.

    Good luck finding the jar makers.


  6. Your next post should definitely be a DIY tutorial on how to make one of those bling tubs! You might just become world famous ;)

  7. Yes! Yes! Get a bedazzler and create your own unique, one of a kind, never seen anywhere else bling.
    And keep a jar of vaseline in every bag. I do the same with my inhaler, one in every bag and a spare in my locker at work.


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