Yooralla Media Award and another announcement!

Today I was honoured and humbled to be presented with a Yooralla Media Award for the online media category. 

I won the award for a body of work that I wrote for DiVine. 

The articles I received my award for were:
In Control and telling my story 
Someone will come along 
Love the skin you're in 

It was a surprise to win this award because of the calibre and prestige of winners (including journalists from the ABC, The Australian, SBS and Triple J) and judges (including senior staff from The Age, Channel 7 news, The Australian, and Herald and Weekly Times, and Rhonda Galbally and Stella Young). Wow. Seriously, wow.

 

As I said in my speech, the others who have won, or received a highly commended, or who entered and didn't win, are prestigious journalists. And I am merely a writer. Telling funny stories.

I was perhaps the only winner who told my own story. The other entries told stories of hope, determination, the every day, and the confronting. I will showcase the winners when the Yooralla page is updated.

I thank DiVine for giving me the opportunity to write, and my blog readers, family, friends and colleagues for encouraging me to write for a bigger audience. Who would have thought, the internet is so big, and I was chosen as the winner!

It was a lovely afternoon. My Mum, my manager and my friend from work came with me, plus the editor of DiVine and a staff member. There was wine and canapes. And I have a beautiful certificate. And I got to wear my new dress! 

 
In other news, I have been asked to write for the ABC's online disability portal. It launches on 3 December 2010. It is such a big honour to be asked to write for the ABC! The ABC. Wow! Seriously. Wow.

Everything and nothing to say

It's hard to try remember and forget simultaneously. It's hard when I have everything and nothing to say to him. I don't feel like I can pick up the phone to call or text. What's there to say, really? Everything and nothing.

At this very moment, I'm doing ok. About love, I mean. I know I'm doing ok because I feel comfortable enough to write this down, and so far don't feel like I am going to choke up and cry.

At times last week, I wasn't doing so great. I can recall two times where I lost my shit. Once during a drinking session which ended very messily. It was over something really trivial. Too obvious to write about here. And the other time after Mel Rafter's funeral. On TV. Ok, so the collective Packed to the Rafters audience probably lost their shit too, mourning Mel, but I cried because of the love I've lost/still feel, and then for feeling guilty about crying more after a TV funeral than some real life funerals I've attended.

I wish things could go back to how things were before. When we were comfortable with talking for hours. When I could hear him smile. When my heart beat fast. When I felt like I trusted him with my life. When I felt wanted. When I knew it was ok to love him.

Last week I met a friend who told me she was in the early stages of an internet relationship. Without putting a dampener on her giddy heart, I gave some advice. Try not to leave it too long before you meet him. You develop feelings for someone so quickly when you talk to them online and over the phone that there is risk that those feelings won't translate into 'real life' and you will fall into pieces as quickly as you fell in love.

I didn't actually meet him online. But the internet facilitated something between us.

It took about seven days for me to develop feelings for him, right after he told me his feelings for me. Fast. It was 31 days from when I started talking to him on the phone to when I booked my flights to meet him (again after many years). Though our phone and text relationship was fraught with mixed emotions, and probably too much persistence on my part, I had to find out what these feelings were about. It was 46 days from when we started talking to when we met again. I am glad I didn't leave it too long because I would have developed deeper feelings and be more devastated now.

To protect myself, from I don't know what, really, I have tried not to think about him and I since we met. By not thinking of him too much, I mean, I try not to fall asleep thinking. I hear songs he likes. I get mental image flashbacks of things we did. I feel guilty because he feels guilty. I've wanted to think about him so much, but I know that doing so will prolong my feelings for him. I don't want to remember and I don't want to forget. I don't know when I should stop loving him, or even if I should stop. I hate being told that I need to forget about him, or that I need to move on.

I thought it would be hard going to Canberra last Friday. But it wasn't bad. The only sadness I felt was when I sat in the same seat as before he and I said goodbye, and when I walked past the place where we hugged for the last time. I remembered that I wanted to call out to him as he walked away and tell him I loved him, if it wasn't for me telling him I loved him the night before and he asked me not to.

There are so many things I love about him, and so many things I don't. Deep down I know I need to find happiness and love elsewhere. I consider ceasing the little contact that we have. But, as my romantic prophet sings, 'I shouldn't be holding on but I'm still holding on for you'.

I read this piece of writing on a blog today:

Some unrequited loves make no sense whatsoever when you think about them, but sadly the heart wants what the heart wants. So often, as young women (and men if there are any reading), we have great capacity to love. And great capacity to forgive someone over and over for their mistakes, for causing us hurt, for their imperfections, and even for not loving us back. They are just human right? So we keep on loving. And yet we have great difficulty forgiving ourselves for being human and loving ourselves in spite of not being perfect.

It sums up parts of the way I feel perfectly. I love him, despite. Sometimes I wish I didn't. But other times I am glad I do.

He has my heart. He has my love. Even though I don't know if it's ok to love still him.

Fucking Perfect and more music I've been listening to

I have two big announcements to be made on this blog in the next day or two. Stay tuned. Or should I say, Tune into Radio Carly!

For now I will leave you with a few of my current favourite songs. Apologies for the insubstantial blog entry. Very tired. But so excited, too!

Music I've been missing - Return of the Mack

Things are busy. I can't recall a day when I haven't had something to do. My life has become scheduled outside of my 9-5 job. It's all good though.

Today was the storm before the calm at work. Crazy busy. I can breathe now. Tomorrow I shall be going to Canberra for a large event. I am excited!

I seem to be fitting things in. Forecasting. Even my shopping trips have purpose now. I can't afford to mosey. One Friday night, the day before the ball, I was looking for a trench coat that could be worn as evening wear. In a shop I had no luck in, I heard Mark Morrison's Return of the Mack.


I don't know why this song made me smile. But I think because it hailed from my favourite music era, 1996-1997.

Return of the Mack. The music I've been missing. And an appropriate song for trench coat shopping.

I'll be back to run the (blog) show soon.

Megan Washington - Sunday Best at the 2010 ARIAs

This performance was so damn good it deserved its own separate blog entry.



I love it! The hair. The dancing. The singing. The feathers. The dress. Wow :)

Holy shit! You sure can turn it on!

2010 ARIA Awards. Wow. A train wreck.

The ARIA Awards came and went. Yawn. A wrap up is on The Age. For the uninitiated, the ARIAs are the Australian Record Industry Awards.

I don't recall them being this shitty. And full of ring-ins. As Brendan Maclean tweeted: 'Because when I think music I think: Bob Katter, Carmen Electra, Lara Bingle and Geoff Huegill.' The ARIAs were deemed a sellout by Jimmy Barnes this week. And its future was debated.

I was excited about the 'new guard' nominated for awards. Some quality artists. I thought those who attended and hosted the awards would be too. Pity the award show wasn't the same quality. I love Australian music and I expect more from the industry to honour and recognise our fine artists. It was shameful. And shambolic.

Most presenters seemed uninformed and disinterested. The main hosts didn't actually host. The logistics of the show were disorganised. Most performances other than Megan Washington's and Angus and Julia Stone's were lacklustre I hated it.

I read some incredibly funny tweets about the ARIA awards tonight. I loved the observations people made.

Here are my twitter comments as the awards unfolded (click on pictures for sources):

I wish Powderfinger could have played a classic song of theirs for their last TV performance. Passenger. These Days? #ARIAS

What has Rebel Wilson got to do with the Australian music industry?

Megan Washington and Yumi Stynes. Two new girl crushes. #ARIAS

Anti drug ads on in ARIA ad breaks. Do the musos at the ARIAS see the ad breaks? #ARIAS #justsaying

Bob Katter is like a cartoon character. Why is he there??? #ARIAS

Bob Katter needs to work on his pronunciation. 'Ah-rar-ia' #ARIAS

Sia has overtaken Connie from Sneaky Sound System for most interesting outfit at the #ARIAS. Connie now dressed by Cue?

I like the fact that Sia's dress can be reused to rope off the forecourt of the Opera House post #ARIAS
Is Sia just singing/ad-libbing over a recorded version of her song? Can't work it out, mesmorised by her dress. #ARIAS

Taking a phenergan for hayfever. It will be a race to see which puts me to sleep first. #ARIAS or phernergan?

Shut the fuck up British guy fawning to Carmen Electra. Australian music is NOT about Carmen Electra's body. #ARIAS

Clare Bowditch I hope you are correctly forecasting the rest of the ARIA awards when you said 'it just keeps getting better'. Please. #ARIAS

Powderfinger's announcement they're playing 2011 Big Day Out was met with NO RESPONSE. Is it a fable? #ARIAS

I just want to hear Rebel Wilson tell me how many minutes until someone turns the #ARIAS off at the switch.

Tim Rogers to Kasey Chambers: 'please, please can you tell me what the hell we're doing here' - quote of the night. #ARIAS

The guy from Jet is superfluous next to James Matheson. Good looking, but disinterested. And uninformed. 'their single from their album'

Stan Walker (neck tatt) couldn't read Dan Sultan's name. He needed Fuzzy to help. Idol clearly wasn't a remedial reading class. #ARIAS

Best bit of the #ARIAS = seeing Angus and Julia Stone's video clip.

I love how Angus Stone didn't dress up for the awards. It's like a middle finger to the trainwreck #ARIAS

Is that Ruby Rose's real hair? I can't keep up with her hair changes. #ARIAS

Megan Washington you are the best thing about the #ARIAS. Holy shit you sure can turn it on.

I love the feathers. And the dress. And the haircut. And the performance. I love Megan Washington. #ARIAS

Jess Mauboy pronounced 'debut' as de-butt. Again, clearly Idol wasn't remedial reading class. #ARIAS

Axl Whitehead, are you gonna get your wang out? It could make the night more interesting. #ARIAS

Yes indeed. The ARIAS are a little bit of a disappointment. Modern Family guy, you said it. #ARIAS

Angus and Julia Stone. Wow. :)

A 5 sec montage and a small, feint, clap? Seriously, James Freud deserved a bit more of a tribute than that.

Nat Bass is a trillion times more upbeat than Angus and Julia Stone. But I love The Stones a trillion times more.

Isn't someone legendary meant to close an awards show? Then why do we see Guy Sebastian close the #ARIAS?

>>End of tweeting. Following the Twitter feed was far more entertaining than the ARIAs.

I felt embarrassed by the ARIAs tonight. It has become less about the music and more about... well, I can't pin point what it's about. D-Grade celebs? Apathy? A clear disinterest in and lack of awareness about our fine artists? I hope if the awards continue, it won't be as bad as this year.

I can't find Megan Washington's gorgeous performance online yet. I have to find it!!

On a side note, this new romance was suggested today. Cute couple. Angus Stone and Isabel Lucas. Though I can't imagine they'd be too talkative around each other.

Stop! Collaborate and listen. No Limits is filming a brand new episode.

It was a day of filming No Limits yesterday.

I was lucky enough to interview writer and comedian Catherine Deveny - she was very easy to talk to and provided insight into her dyslexia.

Once again, a lot of mucking around in the green room (and sometimes on set!). The title of this blog entry is Ice, Ice, Baby, modified. We were singing it at random times yesterday.

If the audience could hear what was being said off camera, the ratings would be through the roof.

Filming days are so much fun.

There's little modesty when filming - I had hands down my top and had to lift up my dress several times to secure my microphone to my stockings. Not awkward at all.

A photographer was there taking press photos - media kits are going to be sent out soon, and the website updated, so you may see some stories about No Limits in your local newspaper.

The show airs on 6 December. You can get it on channel 44 on Australian digital TV, and channel 31 on analogue.

I love the No Limits cast and crew. The friendships I've formed are great - everyone's so supportive. And funny. I feel like I can be myself around them. I feel like I fit in.

Heath the guide dog. Named after Heath Ledger.
He was born on the day Heath Ledger died.

Sort of meeting a celebrity.

This is what I wore for the first episode I was in:

Dress by Sportsgirl, top by Miss Shop, jacket by Target, headband by Witchery, shoes by Diana Ferrari.

I have had this top since Christmas 1999. I love it. Heath the guide dog loved it too.

I wore the above outfit, minus the jacket, for the second episode I was in. Dress by Temt.

After filming we went to the pub. The night ended very messily for me. And one of my No Limits friends deserves an Australian of the Year award for looking after me. Enough said. But here are some of the funny Facebook statuses that I made, as a result of some highly philosophical and alcoholised conversation.

Carly Findlay: was stuck between two men who couldn't feel either side of their body.

Carly Findlay: I'm actually really good looking. (Someone told me this!)

Carly Findlay: Beauty is only skin deep. But my skin peels off So beauty is only temporary for me.

Heheheheh. I guess you had to be there!

Good times.

Crowded House concert review

Crowded House
Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne
Friday 5 November 2010

Crowded House are a band I thought I'd never see live in my lifetime. I have only been a fan for around 10 years, but after their Farewell to the World performance at the Sydney Opera House in 1996, I thought I'd missed the boat to see them live. I thought they'd gone forever. After the tragic death of Paul Hester in 2005,I think Neil Finn and Nick Seymour were inspired to reform the band, make more music and tour with a revised lineup (currently Mark Hart and Matt Sherrod on drums). And as a result, last night was the fourth time I've seen Crowded House live. And like every other time, I marveled that I was really seeing these beautiful, classic songs played on stage.

The concert opened with Oh Mercy, a young Melbourne band. I liked some of their songs after hearing them on Triple J a year or so again, so I was pleased to see them live. They were good. Big sound, melodic, and lyrics that told a story. They complemented Crowded House's sound. I was so impressed I bought their album.

Here is Alexander Gow from Oh Mercy. He admitted most songs were about 'chicky babes'. Cute.

Crowded House opened with I Feel Possessed. It was energetic and clearly showed how excited the band was to play. The crowd was reserved for most of the night until the song before the first encore. There were three ladies in the front row, dancing and jumping, but otherwise, the crowd stayed seated until Something So Strong.

The second song was my favourite, When You Come. I find this song lyrically amazing - passionate and sensual. Here are the first two verses and chorus.

When you come across the sea
Me like a beacon guiding you to safety
The sooner the better now
And when you come the hills
Will breathe like a baby
Pulled up heaving from the bottom of the ocean
The sooner the better now
When you come to cover me with your kisses
Fresh like a daisy chained up in a lion's den
I'll know you by the thunderclap
Pouring like a rain of blood to my emotions
And that is why
I stumble to my knees
And why underneath the heavens
With the stars burning and exploding
I know I could never let you down
When you come.

And here is a small recording I did of last night's performance of When You Come.

Crowded House played many songs from their current album Intriguer. But they played so many greatest hits too. Something So Strong, It's Only Natural, Private Universe, Chocolate Cake. They admitted they have so many songs and could play all night. I wished they could. I went to the concert with my die-hard friend A, who has a fan club membership so we got seats eight rows from the stage. I felt a bit of a fraud sitting there given I only knew the lyrics to their greatest hits. It was good to see passionate fans singing along to every word.

The stage was decorated with childrens' lights - bears, deer, geese, rabbits and toadstools. It was quite cute. Crowd members brought along small animal lights and one handed Neil Finn one. Here is the deer light.

This is my other favourite song, Don't Dream its Over.

Apologies for such brief recordings - on the only night at Rod Laver Arena that I have gotten away with recording, my memory card was full. On a side note, I was impressed with Rod Laver's lax security rules last night. Bottle caps were allowed, no bag checks so I took an opened drink in. Alcohol allowed on the floor area. And 'not a security guard in sight', to quote Neil Finn. He was impressed with the fun we were allowed to have, saying he wants to raise the roof of the arena!


The band played like it's their first gig, like they wanted to be there. I love this - I appreciate seeing how happy a band is on stage, despite the enormous and hectic touring schedule. Nick Seymour smiles so much. Often he looks at Neil Finn, adoringly. They brought Neil's wife Sharon on stage to sing two songs. It's nice to see a band do it for the love.

The band also loves and encourages a crowd singalong. This happened in Four Seasons in One Day ('This is your song, Melbourne', Weather With You (complete with parts of Hot Chocolate's You Sexy Thing and Frankie Goes to Hollywood's Relax thrown in) and Better Be Home Soon. The crowd also led Mean to Me, of which the band started half way through. It was magical. Audience participation at its best.

This is the crowd singing to Four Seasons in One Day. Beautiful.

In the song before the first encore, we walked to the front where we were around four people from the stage. Here are some of the photos taken there.

Last night's concert was amazing. The band showcased how many timeless songs they have - both in their back catalogue and new music. I hope to see them play many more times. They've still got it.

The set list can be found here.

A funny thing happened on the way home. There was a guy on the train, with his partner, who had a setlist. I commented that it was so cool he got the setlist, assuming it was from Crowded House. They'd actually seen Ed Kowalczyk (from Live) at The Forum. I told them I'd seen Crowded House. The guy asked if they played Private Universe. I said yes, and then said last time I'd seen them at The Forum, the band asked people from the crowd to play with them on stage, and that I had just said to my friend A that I thought that was one of my favourite things I've seen at a concert. The guy said that he was one of them that played on stage! What a small world!! Here is the video from The Forum.

Smile, you fool!

A planned impromptu photo session in Bourke Street Mall between work and the No Limits meeting.

Scott said 'smile, you fool.'

And so I did. Except when I yelled at him. He said I look scary when I yell.

It was a great outfit for a spring day - though pity it was so cold!

Dress by Harris Scarfe (thanks to everyone who complimented me on it!), jacket by Sussan, headband by Mimco, shoes by Scooter, stockings by Myer.

Vietnamese penis rolls (and more)

I met my lovely friend Steph for dinner after work. Steph and I have been friends for many years now. We always have a laugh when we see each other - she takes the piss out of me a lot!

Example.
Me: "I am so sniffly today, allergy season."
Her: "Is it because you're so red?"
Us: "HAHAHA."
I guess you had to be there.

We went to Melbourne Vietnam Noodle House on Swanston Street. It's fast, cheap and delicious.

We both had pho. I love pho. Steph is a new convert to pho.

Though I love the delicateness of the pho broth, my favourite parts of it are the lemon, basil, mint and bean shoots you add to it.

We also had Vietnamese penis rice paper rolls. Steph is the only person that I use the term penis rolls around. I once heard someone who referred to rice paper rolls as penis rolls, and I had a big 'ohhhh yeah!' moment. Not ohhhh yeah as in pleasurable , but ohhhh yeah as in a lightbulb moment.

Perhaps I can influence 'penis rolls' into your vocabulary. I guarantee that if it does enter your vocabulary, or even your mind, you will have a lot of trouble not saying 'penis rolls' to the waiter. I did!

Or you can keep yourself nice, and keep referring to them as Vietnamese rice paper rolls. I could eat them every day. Rice paper rolls I mean.

This is Steph. She said she doesn't mind featuring on this blog entry. She is awesome.

This is me with my Vietnamese rice paper roll.

And this is what I wore to work and to dinner. I love this dress but don't wear it much because it's restrictive. As a result I feel sore.

My dress is by Target, jacket by Veronika Maine, necklace is Sussan, headband by Witchery and shoes by Diana Ferrari.

I am off to watch The Librarians, which will no doubt contain more crassness than my reference to penis rolls.

And hopefully my favourite character from The Librarians won't be killed off like in last night's epsiode of Packed to the Rafters. I loved Mel.

The Social Network

I saw the highly anticipated movie The Social Network the other day.

(Source)

In brief, it's about Mark Zuckerberg's (played by Jesse Eisenberg) creation of Facebook and his rise to billionairedom. I don't know how biographical the story is, but it's certainly a story to make you think about success and relationships.

He developed Facebook one night with friends in his dormitory room while drunk.

(Source)

There was a lot of technical code and legal speak in the movie. Initially Zuckerberg collaborated with his Harvard university friends, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, and Chris Hughes. But as he envisaged and created Facebook, he saw opportunities in other, more established places, and consequently didn't do the right thing by his friends by slashing their shares in Facebook. The movie shows him being sued by multiple parties, though the cost of the lawsuits is just loose change for Zuckerberg.

It was alleged that Zuckerberg stole the idea of Facebook from the highly esteemed Winklevoss twins after they asked him to collaborate on a dating website with them.

Sean Parker (a very suave Justin Timberlake) from Napster wormed his way in on the collaboration, leaving his friends in the financial cold.

(Source)

I thought the movie was a bit slow, and heavy on (intelligent) dialogue (why is it that American college students portrayed in TV and movies talk at a level that I never did when I was a 'sophomore'?), but I saw some really interesting themes in it.

The tagline of the movie is 'You don't get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies'. Zuckerberg was a lonely guy with a handful of friends before he generated the Facebook phenomenon, and he lost these when he seemingly used them to build Facebook.

(Source)

Zuckerberg is portrayed as socially inept, apathetic and preoccupied with the finer points of programming. While he shuffles around Harvard in a hoodie, jeans and Adidas flip flops with socks (I am sure I saw him wearing the flip flip-sock combination in court), he uses conversations with acquaintances to develop the next big thing on Facebook.

Perhaps his social shortcomings is why he was influenced so much by Parker. He wanted to be in the elite finals clubs of Harvard, and it was through developing Facebook could he achieve a sense of this.

My favourite line of the movie was early on, when he was dumped by his girlfriend Erica Albright (played by Rooney Mare) in a bar: "You’ll go through life thinking girls dislike you because you’re a nerd. But that’s not true. They will dislike you because you are an asshole." This line was pertinent through many scenes in the movie, right to the very end when it hit home how lonely Zuckerberg was, despite his raging financial success (he is the world's youngest billionaire).

The movie made me think about how social networks aren't separate to one's 'real life' - it's still a popularity contest, elitism is rife and the term 'Facebook me' easily slotted into peoples' vocabulary within two weeks of Facebook's Harvard launch.

It also reiterated about the importance of being discreet online. After Zuckerberg was dumped, he wrote disrespectful comments about his former girlfriend on his blog. When he apologised some months later, she made a comment along the lines of content on the internet is not written in erasable pencil.

Be nice to people. Treat them well. Nastiness and deceit will come back to haunt you.

The biggest realisation I had in the movie was that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Facebook started off as a small university website and now has more than 500 million users world-wide. The uptake of Facebook was huge, and is continuing. I wonder whether there will be another thing in my lifetime that generates so much uptake so fast?

(Source)

You can read a great article about the portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg in the New York Magazine.