The time I chatted on The Aussie Bloggers Podcast and with Clare Bowditch.

The first week of my holiday was really busy! Wedding prep took priority of course, but I had a couple of media commitments too.

The first was a chat with Amanda and Tan from the Aussie Bloggers Podcast. We chatted by Skype and while there were a lot of laughs, I covered some deep stuff. Something I've not gone into depth on this blog was an awful experience I had last year after I wrote an article and published a blog post about parents oversharing about their child's disability online. The piece was polarising, which I expected, but I didn't expect the nasty bullying I received from a few bloggers I know personally. I wrote about broad issues and these we're personal, immature and threatening attacks.

I chatted to Amanda and Tan about it on the podcast - mentioning the silent bullying, how it shattered my confidence and how scared I was to go to the Problogger conference shortly after that piece came out. Blogging isn't always roses. Fortunately, the friends and strangers who supported me far outweighed the bullying. I received a lovely message about that article from a stranger last week actually, which makes it all worth it.

Amanda and Tan have created a lovely page dedicated to my pocast.

You can listen to the podcast on iTunes here.

Amanda and Tan have interviewed lots off other bloggers - do subscribe!

The second, a couple of days later, was a radio interview with Clare Bowditch on ABC Radio. I've been a fan of Clare's music for years, and after hearing her talk about her Big Hearted Business project and her advice on a creative career at Problogger 2013 (I wrote about that here), I saw what a warm, funny, passionate person she is. I was excited to be invited to chat with her on her new radio show (1.00 - 3.00 pm weekdays on ABC 774 Melbourne).

When I arrived, she called me Carls, gave me a hug and asked me what song I'd like her to play at the top of the hour (Bob Evans of course!). And then we had a lovely chat about appearance activism, inspiration porn and the wedding.

There were a few listeners who called and texted in, and Clare was genuinely interested in their stories. She really does make everyone feel welcome. What a treat to be interviewed by this lovely, talented, friendly woman!

You can listen to Clare and I here.

Also, I can't recall if I posted this one, but I chatted on ABC Afternoons earlier in the year - here's that recording.

I hope you're having a lovely weekend!

 

Our wedding day: the ceremony

(Picture by Sandra)

Today's I am writing about the wedding ceremony. I promise my blog hasn't tuned into a wedding blog - but I want to tell the story of the day in several parts. Firstly, here's a photo of Adam and Jason looking amazing. I was upstairs waiting for our guests to enter the venue, so I had a quick flick through my phone. I smiled so big when I saw this.

(Picture by Jason)

Our ceremony started differently to any wedding ceremony I'd been to. Adam rode down the aisle to Queen's I want to ride my bicycle on his custom made 20 inch chrome cruiser. He took so long to polish it, and it was inconveniently in our living room for a week prior to the wedding. At least it was worth it for his grand entrance.

(Picture by Pauline)

I didn't see him enter, obviously, but I hear it was a hit. As I waited for Adam to ride in, our event manager came to tell us that the guests were getting worried that Adam had disappeared! He was just enjoying the music and didn't enter until the bike bells part of the song! So cute!

Then Darren Hayes' So Beautiful started, and Cassie and Camille walked down the aisle first. We waited until the second verse and my parents walked me down the aisle. I won't forget the gasp when everyone turned around to look at me. I wondered how Adam would look when he saw me in my dress for the first time. He was serious, not even cracking a smile. I think he was a bit teary. He was also serious all through the ceremony. I asked him why, and he said he was taking marrying me very seriously. I had never seen him in a suit until the wedding day - and he looked hot!

(Picture by Heidi)

We were able to sit down for most of the ceremony - it was lucky as I was sore. I remember thinking, is this really happening? Am I really here? It was a strange feeling of being the reason the wedding is taking place, trying to listen to what Debra was saying, and thinking "oh my god, I'm getting married right now!!!".

(Picture by Sandra)

Our ceremony was run by civil celebrant Debra Cerasa. Debra is a friend of ours - she and I met at a blog conference in 2013. She worked with us to ensure the ceremony was very personalised - she asked a lot of questions about ourselves so she could recall our stories during the ceremony. It was really lovely, and funny at times. Debra has just set up her celebrant Facebook page - you can follow her here.

Words are a big part of my life, as you know, and beautiful readings were important. I asked Adam to source some but he said it was up to me. My mum had given me a book full of wedding vows and readings, and Debra also gave us some ideas. None of these felt right for me - they were too generic. So I kept look out for quotes that I loved - mostly online. None were to do with weddings.

We had four readings through the ceremony - read by Leona (a school friend), Louis (we met on No Limits), Cassie and me. It was so lovely to have them be a part of the ceremony.

Read by Leona:

Read by Cassie:

Read by me:

Read by Louis:

I could see our guests really listening and thinking during those readings. Such powerful words.

(Picture by Sandra)

Our vows were personal and cute - Adam's made me cry. It was so beautiful to hear him make his promise to me. I know how much time he put into writing those words. I made mine a mixture of serious and silly - promising to always say I love you and I'm sorry, and to only request one outfit photo a day when you're my official Instagram husband.

We made a marriage equality statement - and I noted that we can't wait for the day marriage is an option for everyone.

I'd bought this beautiful ring plate for Jason to hand us. It was pink and blue clay, and it was the only thing Adam and I argued about during the planning. He wanted a box! In the scheme of things, it didn't matter because no one saw it! It wasn't even in any photos. It's a good reminder that the small pretty things don't really matter as it's the whole marriage that's important.

(Picture by Sandra)

We said I do and then we got to kiss. We'd been practicing this kiss - Debra said it was important for the photographer to capture this so we had to take our time. Adam and I are quite private, so I can't think of a time we had kissed in front of our parents before - and there were certainly no photos of us kissing online until our friends posted them during the wedding!

(Picture by Jarrod)

After the kiss and many cheers and claps, we signed the documents and our marriage certificate. There were two songs playing during this signing - Songbird by Fleetwood Mac (I saw Dad's eyes light up when this came on) and How Long will I Love You? by Ellie Goulding (Adam's favourite song). We chose two close friends who were not in our bridal party to be our witnesses - a friend I met at uni and a friend Adam knows from a bike shop.

While they were signing our documents, Jason called for a selfie. Of course. Gosh it was funny. We've got the selfie, and then saw many other photos of this selfie being captured. Love in the age of social media right?! I do, now let's take a selfie!

(Picture by Adam taken on Jason's phone, regrammed by Camille)

(Picture by Pauline)

(Picture by Sandra)

The ceremony ended with Keith Urban's Somebody Like You playing and us walking out of the ceremony room (I think we did this too fast - nevermind). We were so happy. (Adam said he was smiling on the inside the whole time - he was just taking the marriage thing seriously!)

(Picture by Sandra)

To be continued...

(I've already written about the venue, getting ready and the minimoon if you'd like to catch up. Thank you for your lovely wishes.)

 

 

 

 

Our wedding day: getting ready.

(Picture by Camille)

I covered the wedding venue on Monday, and this post is about getting ready for the wedding. Thank you for all your lovely comments on the previous post! I have so many photos from friends, it's so lovely to see the memories.

The day before the wedding, I came down with a cold. I dosed up on pho, vitamin c, lemon and honey and brandy - because I can't take cold and flu meds. Adam and I loaded the car with all our stuff (it was pretty hilarious stuffing three giant helium balloons in there!) and took one last selfie as an unwed couple. We delivered it to the venue, Laura was there to collect it, and then we said our goodbyes.

Adam stayed at his parents the night before the wedding - he said he relaxed. I asked him to elaborate for this post, and he said he did nothing but relax.

I had a manicure and pedicure - after a little drama of one business not wanting to touch my skin without gloves because they thought I was contagious, and then they didn't have vinyl gloves on hand. I had to speak loudly in the salon that I'm not contagious, and everyone looked. I left. Sigh. Why does it have to be so hard?! I eventually found a great nail salon and sat in a massage chair while my hands and feet were pampered. I provided my own gloves.

I booked an AirBNB apartment in St Kilda for Mum and I to stay the night prior to the wedding. I chose a fancy one for the purpose of photos! And for relaxation of course! It was stunning - so modern and perfect for a modern woman (beautiful furnishings and stocked with Girl Boss books - Tina, Amy, Lena). There was a bottle of wine in the fridge on arrival - it went down well with barbecued octopus for dinner. Mum and I had long chats and lots of laughs - it was nice.

On the day of the wedding, I woke up early as usual, and stayed in bed for a while. As mentioned, I wasn't feeling well, so I stayed in bed as long as possible. I called Adam to tell him I loved him, and Mum told me how soppy it was. He said he'd found my present and card I had snuck into his bag, and loved it. Naww!

The weather was perfect - sunny and cool - not like the previous week when it had been unseasonably hot and then rainy.

After a shower, I went to a new favourite cafe (Sister of Soul) for a hearty and healthy vegetarian breakfast and juice. The waitress asked me what I was up to that day, and I told her I was getting married - she almost cried with excitement!

I returned to the apartment at around 10.00 am and the girls started arriving. First Cassie, then Clare (our videographer), then Camille, Kendrie (our hairdresser), Souri (our photographer) and Jo (my dressmaker). There were so many people in such a small space, but it worked. It was fun! We played some wedding videos via YouTube, decorated the apartment with flowers, our clothes and trinkets in readiness for the photos, and snacked on cheese, olives, fruit and cold meats. My day job manager gave me some French champagne so we drank that too. Getting ready for the wedding was one of my favourite memories of the day!

(Picture by Camille)

A little note on our videographer: quite close to the wedding, I put a call out for a videographer in a blogging group. I suggested bloggers who are interested in making videos might like to video our day, and we'd pay. It'd be an opportunity for them to develop their skills and get a little promotion. Clare put her hand up and we are SO glad she did. She makes cute little videos of her life in the country, and I wanted her to capture moments of our day. Gosh she was great - and she learnt a lot from our photographers. She was calm and eager to learn and a lot of fun to be around. Adam and I gave her a meal and paid for her accommodation.

(Picture by Camille)

Kendrie from Chick Flicks Event Hair was busily doing the bridesmaids' hair - braids and curls. Souri was snapping photos - not intrusive at all, my bridesmaids were using the clothes steamer to iron my dress and jacket, and I was a bit stressed because I worried I was going to get my period (I did!). If that's the worst thug to happen on the wedding day, I'll take it!

I had another shower - this time lathering up with oil and sorbolene in the shower - I wanted my face to be less red and to last a long day - and moisturised my body well. If I didn't have that second shower, my skin would have felt dry as the evening progressed, and I would not have been comfortable. I was amazed at how quickly my face settled.

And then Kendrie styled my hair. A friend recommended Kendrie on Facebook, I got in touch, and we clicked on our first meeting.

(Picture by Clare)

Kendrie gave me big curls, even though I don't have a lot of hair. I loved it - it was my Rapunzel moment! And she placed my headpiece on my head so carefully. She gave my bridesmaids curls and braids - I had hair envy! And she was also an excellent suitcase packer. Love her! I had a Champagne as my hair was being done. It was nice. The time went so quickly!

I felt like we were running out of time (we had to be out of the apartment at 2.00pm - strict instructions from the rather terse AirBNB host). I apologise if I was a Bridezilla for five minutes - I had misplaced my recently sparkled engagement ring (thanks for finding it Clare!) and mum was MIA when I wanted her to help me with my dress! She finally came and this was a lovely moment!

(Pictures (above and below) by Cassie)

Jo, who had altered my dress, helped me into it. My dress - amazing as it was - wasn't the most practical! So many layers (six!).

(Picture by Camille)

All was well, though - my dress was perfect, we hauled the luggage to the cars, and checked out of the apartment. And then we were on the street. I took a selfie. I've never had so much confidence in my face as I did that moment.

It's a strange feeling being in a wedding dress in a non-wedding setting, though. I felt on show, in a good way. And I felt a bit like a newborn foal trying to find its legs - trying to manoeuvre my dress to walk stably. It was amazing how many people stopped and smiled, even just on the pavement outside the apartment.

I thought it would be cute to have some photos in the community garden across the road. We had visited there the previous evening, admiring the veggies and flowers. So we sat on a bench for photos, only to be met with a disgusting smell. Gardeners were shovelling manure! It was so bad Cassie exclaimed it was probably human poo! So stinky! We got out of there quickly! I feared I had got manure on my dress and the smell would be with me all day! Imagine!

How gorgeous are my bridesmaids?! (That selfie was by Camille.)

We had a few photos behind Luna Park, and again strangers stopped to watch, smiling. It was really nice to be stared at because I was a bride, not because of my different appearance. I actually had a few people track down my social media to tell me they'd seen us being photographed that day, and sent their congratulations and compliments. Gosh people are lovely!

(Both pictures above by Camille)

And then it was time to be driven to the venue.

(Picture by Camille)

We arrived way too early (I was worried about Grand Prix traffic!), and I had another Bridezilla moment, worried Adam would see me. We saw some guests walk to Red Scooter. And we parked in a glamourous car park between some cars and skip bins. And we waited. I ate half a muesli bar. We took selfies and checked Facebook.

Then we went to the venue, entering so Adam wouldn't see us, and went upstairs for a drink of water and more photos.

(Picture by Camille)

I felt like such a princess. I loved getting ready so much and really want to take the time to pamper myself like this more in future.

To be continued...

For information on our photographer, visit Fresh Photography. To book my hairdresser, visit Chick Flicks Event Hair. To talk to our videographer, visit The Life of Clare. Read about our venue here.

 

Our wedding day: many thanks and about the venue

(Picture by Cassie)

Our wedding day was the most amazing, fun, romantic, stylish, emotional, sigh inducing day. After almost two years of planning and saving, it came together perfectly. I am obsessed with poring over photos, recalling memories and debriefing about what happened on the day. And the two weeks since our wedding has been lovely - Adam and I are loving our time together. He told me yesterday it's been a lovely two weeks since we married.

Our wedding party was amazing - I love how they're all good friends now! Camille and Cassie (Adam's sister) were my bridesmaids, and Jason was Adam's groomsman. A really lovely, fun group of people.

(Picture by Camille)

 

My husband (my HUSBAND!!) and I are so thankful to everyone who came to celebrated with us, and who has sent wishes and presents from afar. 57 guests came to the wedding (four flew from the UK and a few made the trip from interstate!) - and hundreds followed along around the world, thanks to social media. We're overwhelmed with love. Thank you!

One of the many nice things to come in the mail was a card for Adam and I from the nurses who used to look after me on the kids' ward of the Albury Base Hospital. Each nurse wrote such a heartfelt message to us.I felt that for so much of my childhood, I didn't fit in or wasn't understood. And so when I went to hospital, the nurses and other patients on the ward were my friends - they valued me and took the time to get to know me. And so it means so much to receive their well wishes, to reflect on what I've achieved since those hospital days, and cherish the love I've found in Adam and countless other true friends. Thanks for the lovely surprise, nurses!

I've got so much to say, so I'll break this wedding story up into a number of blog posts. Let's start at the beginning. The venue.

We had our wedding at Red Scooter on 20 March. Red Scooter looks like a warehouse in a pretty industrial part of Balaclava. The outside features a red carpet, striped backdrop and a sprawling vine. Inside is stunning - there are two levels (ceremony room is downstairs and reception rooms are upstairs).

(Picture by The Good Girl Confessional)

The ceremony room (pictured above) is plain - taupe drapes, white patterned walls, clear seats and mirrored tables. The reception rooms are fancy. The drapes, the lighting, the feature wall and the table settings make for an opulent setting. Even though the reception room is opulent, it's quite a blank canvas, ready to be decorated however clients like. In the times we visited the venue prior to the wedding, we saw a few different styles of set up.

(Picture by Sandra Reynolds)

Adam and I found the venue in June 2014 and loved it from our first visit. We were impressed by the food (the chef offered us a sample that day!), and also the way Eammon was so accommodating, asking how he and his staff could make me comfortable on the day. In looking at venues and also attire, I found that accessibility and inclusion wasn't front of vendors' minds. Some vendors seemed surprised I was the bride, some sales assistants ignore me as I browsed their dress shops. Red Scooter were different - asking me what I need to be comfortable, and taking note of our diverse guests' needs. The wheelchair access was dignified - at the front of the venue, and the staff set aside a quiet area for breast feeding mothers. They created flattering lighting to reduce my redness, and raised the temperature a little. A+ for accessibility.

Laura was our event specialist - she was a delight to work with (our celebrant and wedding singer's manager told me they were impressed too!). Laura was in constant contact, providing us with all the information we needed, and sending us updated seating charts and run sheets as we made progress. She made sure everything was perfect on our day. The ceremony and reception rooms were so beautifully decorated - everything I'd dreamed of.

(Picture by Jarrod Marrinon)

Our guests commented on how much they enjoyed the food, and how attentive the staff were.

(Yes, Bob Evans was at the wedding! More about that in a later post. Click the image for the text in the tweet)

A few guests and service providers told us it was the best wedding food they'd had.

Between the ceremony and reception, there was a cash bar, and then canapés were served outside the reception room. Canapés comprised prawn dumplings (hard to eat in a white dress - very squirty!), mushroom arancini (a crowd favourite!) and lemon chicken skewers. Entree was spinach and feta ravioli with cherry tomatoes (again, tomatoes to squirty for me to eat!).

Mains were steak or pork belly (pictured below) and a tagine for the vegetarians.

Dessert was platters of eclairs, lemon sorbets with Persian fairyfloss, berry mousse cones and wedding cake.

It's safe to say no one went hungry. One friend had two servings! (The food pictures were by Camille.)

 

We were so impressed with the cost - we were under budget and had some change to splurge on our minimoon. Who knew a Melbourne wedding would be so affordable?!

Thank you Red Scooter for making our day so wonderful. Laura, Eammon, Sarah and the rest of the staff were amazing. We loved the food, the lighting, the disabled access (physical and attitudinal), the service from when we looked at the venue to the day after the wedding, and the staff's sense of humour.

(Picture by The Good Girl Confessional)

To be continued....

For more on the need for inclusion and accessibilty in the wedding industry and media, read my piece on Nu Bride.

This post was not sponsored or gifted. We saved for and paid for the whole shebang ourselves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn't want to be a burden on our minimoon.

(Photo by Souri from Fabulous Femme and Fresh Photography)

I tend to fall in a heap after a big, exciting event. As a child, I'd have my birthday or go on an excursion to the zoo and then spend a week in bed because my skin was so sore.

So it was inevitable that I'd be sick after our wedding. I was sore prior to my wedding, actually - on the day of my wedding I had a salt and oil shower and requested a chair for the ceremony as I didn't feel up to standing for a prolonged period. Adam had a chair too - so we were well balanced on stage.

I could feel a cold coming on the Friday before the wedding, so I dosed myself up with vitamin C, brandy, lemon and honey and pho. Miraculously it held off on the big day, but resurged with force the day after. And then my skin worsened.

I described the skin pain level as 90 late last week. Hospital stage. I went to an event on Thursday night, and while it was fun, the hugs were painful. Friday was spent in bed, with Adam making me breakfast and letting me sleep. I was determined to go on our minimoon - a weekend away to country Victoria, and we did.

I packed lounging pyjamas, a blankie for the car, painkillers, antibiotics, salt and oil for the bath, and the optimism that the weekend would be restful, not racing.

And it was. We had brunches and dinners out, short wanders through shops and the highlight - seeing the penguin parade. We gazed at each other, amazed that we're now married. He looked after me well. In sickness and in health, right?!

I booked beautiful, homely and luxurious accommodation - perfect for resting. I spent much of the weekend in bed or in the spa bath. We watched TV and aTe cheese and enjoyed a tipple. I read a book. I left feeling feeling well rested, but still a little sore.

I was upset that this trip away wasn't full of romance and site seeing and had a bit of a cry. I hated the thought that Adam might have gone from a husband to a carer in a week. While I'm very self sufficient, my pain meant there was a limit to what I could do. I encouraged Adam to see the sites without me. I didn't want to be a burden.

I had read how many carers and parents felt their Easter weekend was spoilt because of their disabled relatives' needs. Even when these comments aren't directly about us, they hurt. Because they perpetuate the idea that disabled people are burdens and embarrassing and restrict the lives of those who care for them. I didn't want to contribute to the "unfair" easter toll of a dependent with a disability letting their needs get in the way of the family's good time.

My beautiful husband didn't take to the Internet to complain that my pain ruined his weekend, but actually wrote a loving Facebook message about how amazing our accommodation was, that I am sore but it's nice to spend time with me doing nothing. It was so uplifting and reassured me he had a good time and I'm not a burden.

"Carly Findlay and I are on our minimoon in Phillip Island, Carly has booked an amazing hotel with an amazing view. She has been quite sore this weekend, she is sad that she hasn't made it as fun as she would have liked, but just soending time away with her in this lovely hotel is lovely.

I do hope she feels better soon, but for now she just need some rest before we head out to see the penguins tonight.

Love you so much Carly and love the time we have together."

What a loving, tender start to married life.