One Saturday night earlier this month, Adam and I went to his parents’ house for dinner. My mum was there too. Our mothers are around the same age and have similar music tastes - Creedence Clearwater Revival, Lionel Ritchie, Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell. His mum played Bette Midler’s Wind Beneath My Wings - which I came to know through Beaches, which I’ve watched many times since I was nine years old. I dramatically serenaded Adam (twice), moving my arms to simulate wings, and pointing at him during the "you, you, you’s”. Pretty sure he had cold feet about our wedding! Just kidding. It’s still happening.
I listened to the song again the next day, taking in the lyrics:
"It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you."
And it occurred to me that Adam is indeed the wind beneath my wings.Not in the "walking a step behind" me way that Bette sings about. But in the supportive way. Because we walk together.
And I don’t want him to be the beautiful face without a name - I want everyone to know his name and how wonderful he is (well, as much as he is comfortable with - I never want to compromise his integrity or privacy online, and always ask him permission to post or run updates and blog drafts by him). When we were at Layne Beachley’s fundraiser last month, she introduced herself to him, saying she knew who he is as he’s famous on the internet, and he looked so chuffed.
Before I’d even met Adam, I wondered how I’d have time to have a boyfriend. When would I fit it all in? How could I do all the things I wanted to and commit to a lover? I was Miss Independent.
But pretty soon, I found out I can have it both - a loving, busy relationship and my independence. And looking back on these almost 18 months, I’ve managed to do so much - buoyed by Adam. I am thankful.
Now, I am busier than ever. I attribute my achievements to his love and support. While I put in the work - writing and preparing and promoting and talking - he gives me the time and confidence to do this.
This man is the most supportive, interested, generous, proud partner I could ever wish for. As I write this, he’s given up his Sunday to make a chalkboard for the Ichthyosis meet. He comes to see me talk and gets involved in things that I do. Last month he drove me on a three hour round trip on a weeknight so I could speak at an event. He came to the event - the only man among 30 women - mingling and laughing along. Amazing.
I hope that I’m as equally supportive and nurturing of him. I try. Every day I see something more to love about him. He’s come out of his shell so much - his confidence is soaring. I am so proud of him.
We were talking about the good things we in our relationship. We agreed that one of the best things about it is being able to be ourselves, with each other's support. I honestly think we've found each other which has meant finding ourselves.