I am feeling heaps better than Friday :) Though my body seems to go through a cycle everytime I go to hospital (even if this stay was so short!) and my skin still isn't at its best, I am pleased with my improvement. I survived the hot weekend, I got through a day at work today and I have cleaned the house.
Although I went to work today with my face feeling really good, and so I was more confident looking at the world, I felt pretty terrible inside. I know I get dangerously close to making this a medical/illness/skin related blog sometimes, which I don't want to do, so I'll be brief in my medical talk. My dad once said to me that it's funny that every day he asks me how my skin is. That skin should be such a big topic of conversation. I guess sometimes I feel defined by my skin because it is such a talking point, but I try not to let it define me.
Anyhow.
The antibiotics prescribed are much stronger than the ones I usually take. They make me feel so nauseous. I have painkillers that also make me feel this way, and honestly, I would rather put up with the pain than feel nauseous. I hate it. So this afternoon from about 1:45 pm until about 6:00 pm I felt like I was on the boat to Tasmania again. Really really shitty. But hey, my skin looked better than it did on Friday!
It's unlike me to go without food, but the only food I've eaten tonight is a piece of dry wholegrain spelt bread, and a cup of hot water mixed with a teaspoon of vegetable stock. And I just took the last antibiotics for the day so I ate a small piece of cheese afterward. I'm not even hungry, but I'm dreading the nausea tonight :/
On a brighter note, I know you'll all be envious at the rate my skin is regenerating - you can say since Friday I have rejuvenated to the point of that woman in the Silverchair Freak video. That's right - I don't pay for chemical peels and botox - my youthful looks are all in the genes and the vaseline.
Since I've had this blog I've 'met' so many lovely readers and received great comments. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to read my last post about the hospital trip. Thank you especially to those who left kind words of support and admiration. For me to be myself through this blog (and there are rarely instances nowadays when I'm not myself, but I have always been wary of revealing the true me online) and to have so many strangers and friends read my writing to see parts of me that many will never see and still accept me feels pretty amazing.
What I have been amazed at is the comments I've received on this blog (and also in real life) about the way my openness and honesty in the way I tell my story has made others ore confident to be more open and honest and to share their stories too. That is a big compliment.
Melanie in the UK and I 'met' years ago because we both used the Savage Garden forums. It turns out Darren Hayes fans in Australia were mistaking me for Melmo (Melanie's nickname) and would ask me if I was her. I often wondered why they asked. Somehow we got talking a few years into the future and she told me that she too had ichthyosis. And that is why I was mistaken for her? Anyhow, Melanie has started a blog too and she told me she now feels more comfortable discussing her condition because of my blog. Check her blog out, she writes really well, and she has great taste in music ;)
I've had a few offers and instances of real life help too these past few days which has been so lovely and reminded me of the great friends I have.
Thank you everyone for your care and concern. Your kindness really means a lot.
Tomorrow I have orientation at uni. I am excited and nervous about this coming year. It will be difficult and challenging and at times frustrating (just like every other semester, really) but I know I am going to enjoy it, especially seeing it's my final semester of my Masters. I love learning and I know I will enjoy researching and writing about my chosen topic.
Today I emailed the guy in charge of this semester's subject. I articulated the topic for my thesis in the email. It felt good to do this. Especially at the start of the semester. Sometimes I've gone through the whole semester just winging it. I felt good knowing that maybe I'll be flying toward a clear goal early on, rather than scrambling to make it at the end.
I was thinking, as a journal for my thesis, I might start another blog, devoted solely to that. Because the plan for my thesis topic is around Web 2.0, I may as well demonstrate my use of it. I'm not sure yet, but maybe it will help to articulate my thoughts and get some different perspectives. I will keep you posted.
It is almost bedtime. I am listening to old school Silverchair (Neon Ballroom period) before I sleep. I wish you a happy Tuesday :)
