So beautiful.

My love, he's got this joke with me. It's a play on everyone who intrusively asks me about my face.

"What's on your face?", he says.

Then he adds, "Oh it's just beautiful."

And boy do I smile when he says that. I am the luckiest.

I don't need anyone but myself to make me feel happy with my appearance. But it is amazing knowing and seeing how someone else sees me. It's such a joy to love and to be loved. And I love how it shows. This isn't vanity. It's seeing myself as my love sees me. When I see a photo he's taken, I see the beauty he sees in me.

How wonderful that a camera can capture that - I thought only a human could, not a machine. I thought that beauty was fleeting, merely dandelion fluff that can never be caught.

I read a blog post by a woman who wrote about how she was 'exposed by her children for what she really looks like'. She wrote about how she wasn't comfortable in her own skin, but her children saw such beauty. She was the beauty queen in their eyes. The way someone who loves you sees you is often poles apart from how you see yourself.

I never thought someone could stare at me lovingly when I have skin hanging off my face - when I'm the bearded lady that you never see here. I've been so sore lately and he's seen all of it. My wincing and asking for panadol after a shower, me delicately tearing the stockings off my legs, leaving perfectly straight wounds and tiny drops of blood dotting them like rubies. He's seen me cry in pain and want for this to be better again.

We write each other cards. I left him one on his pillow - with an illustration of two rabbits on the front, the caption "you're gorgeous". Because he is, and I could stare at him all day. Inside I wrote a thank you note, telling him that without him I wouldn't be able to smile through this pain without him.

Darren Hayes is right when he sings "you make me feel so beautiful". Because even on my sorest days, when I am in my pyjamas, braless and have knotted hair, my love looks at me like I'm his world.

 

Songs of influence

It’s been my life-long dream to go on radio and play my favourite songs, especially Savage Garden - and last Thursday I did it! I was so excited to have been invited onto Are You Looking At Me? on 3CR - it's a conversation show about equality and difference, with conversations about disability and also the music the guests choose to play. The show is hosted by the lovely Liz Wright - she made me feel so comfortable and I could have spoken to her for hours. I think I've made a great new friend. It was a great afternoon having a chat about blogging life and music. I did sing in the studio (mics off) and I did have a cider. Doing the radio interview was ironic given I wrote about conversations that day. Listen to my interview here.

This little collection was really hard to curate. I love so many bands, and all music has had some sort of impact on my life. But alas! I was limited to three songs! I like Australian music and good lyrics - these songs fit that bill.

Savage Garden – To the Moon and Back

Darren Hayes has been the love of my life. I first saw Savage Garden’s I Want You video clip on Rage in August 1996 and loved the look and sound of the band. I made a decision that this is the band I was going to love and follow. To The Moon And Back is probably my favourite Savage Garden song, though I have a big list of favourites by Darren Hayes. I particularly love the acoustic version of the song. I’ve seen Savage Garden live three times – the first time was an under 18s show at the now-bulldozed Palace Theatre in St Kilda in 1997 (for $18!), then twice at Rod Laver Arena in 1998 and 2000. I’ve seen Darren solo lots of times, and met him too. Last time I met him I flew to Sydney to see him at the Enmore. About 30 fans waited for him outside after the show. He had lost his voice so couldn’t talk. When it was finally my chance to meet him, I whispered “I love you Darren” and he said “I love you too, Carly”. Neighbourhood noise restrictions prevented me from squealing loudly, but I was squealing inside! I didn’t only develop a love of Savage Garden’s music – the band brought me passion, excitement, a sense of identity and strong friendship. I love being a fan. I love the rush of energy seeing bands live, of meeting the singers and of collecting information about posters about my idols. I have a whole box of Darren Hayes and Savage Garden stuff, plus 90+ CDs that I asked my parents to save when the bushfires were close to their house.

Bob Evans - Nowhere Without You

I first heard Bob Evans (alter ego of Kevin Mitchell) in 2006 during a difficult part of my life. I had escaped an ongoing confidence-destroying situation in Melbourne for four months - I went back to live with my parents to get myself right again. I hated the regional commercial radio stations and so made the switch to Triple J on my 30 minute drive to work. I'd listen to the breakfast show, loving the variety of music, and one day heard Nowhere Without You by Bob Evans. It was catchy, jingly-jangly, singer-songwritery, and made me drum on the steering wheel. Then I heard Bob Evans was the lead singer of Jebediah - that band I was a bit scared of in my teens. I came to love Jebediah because of Bob Evans (I told Kevin that I was too busy listening to Savage Garden back in the day to become a fan of Jebediah). I've been a big fan of KevBob since 2006 - going to a show on every tour he's done since 2006 (except that small show he did when I was flying from London to Los Angeles last year). Two of my favourite moments at his shows have been when he asked me to hold his lyrics on stage at The Tote, and winning a competition to see him at a tiny show at Spotify HQ in Sydney. We chat on Twitter – it’s great that social media enables this. The line "I just can't make it on my own" resonates with me because it signifies me asking my parents for help again.

Silverchair – Miss You Love

Neon Ballroom was the album that got me into Silverchair. I was finally liking a band that was considered cool! I surprisingly enjoy the dark lyrics, and think the theatrical music is very uplifting. Miss You Love is my favourite song on the album, with Emotion Sickness coming a close second. I once wrote a very long blog post analysing Miss You Love. I listened to Neon Ballroom all through year 12. I spent a lot of time in the library “studying” – actually writing poems about boys I’d fallen in love with on the internet. My poetry was inspired by Silverchair and also Douglas Stewart, the Australian bush poet I had studied in year 11. A strange combination! Miss You Love is such an honest song, looking at the struggles Daniel had coping with fame as a young adult. That line “I love the way you love, but I hate the way I’m supposed to love you back” gets me every time.

I've got so many more songs that have influenced me and hope to play some more on radio one day in the future!

What are your most influential songs?

 

What I know about remembering.

"Memory was a curse, yes, he thought, but it was also the greatest gift. Because if you lost memory you lost everything."

~ Anne Rice



My memory is cumbersome. Sometimes I lug it around like a heavy book. Other times it's like feathers, allowing me to softly escape. It's full of beauty, of people, of good times. It can wear me down, but also lift me up. It reminds me I have lived.

I used to write poetry. It was all dark and romantic and naively sexual. So very Silverchair in their Neon Ballroom era, mixed with a bit of Australian bush poetry studied in my senior school years - a strange appropriation of diverse Australian culture. It sort of just stopped when I got happy. Maybe when I got rid of those loser boys left my life - the ones who just weren't good enough.

I was searching for an email the other day, and found this poem that I had sent to a friend, from back in September 2010.

I cringe at my poetry. I cringe at the sadness and the cliches and the vast amount of love that filled me to the utter brim. I never used capital letters. And how did I know what word should spill to the next line?

if i am the sunshine of your life,

why am I the one that clouds fall upon?

you make me feel the full spectrum of emotions,

but i heard about a girl who had a brain scan and felt no emotion,

so i guess i should feel lucky i was over the moon last night and devastated tonight. I am the one who will always love you more than you love me, and

you are the final decision maker, you pull the strings.

my response may have been diplomatic

cool, nonchalant - yeah, it's best we stay as friends

but the truth is, i'd like nothing more than for you to hold me and love me.

I couldn't work out whether it was a song lyric, or if I had written it. I even googled it. I wondered why I would have written a poem then, in 2010? I was all about blogging and writing meaningful, long winded text messages. And then I remembered, I wrote it about him. Because he was also one of those boys that just wasn't good enough. That unrequited love dragged on for so long. I must remember not to let that happen again.

-

It is a year ago since I had set off on my mini Darren Hayes tour. One night in Melbourne and the next in Sydney. That time marked the week I began to feel happiness again, after a couple of months of not. I was so broken. Darren's album helped me heal, his live shows helped me come alive again. I listened to and watched Darren in absolute awe. I remember when he looked at me during the shows. I remember the emotion I felt when he sang Talk Talk Talk and Bloodstained Heart. His voice found its way to my soul as he sang The Siren's Call.

"I can almost taste happiness, it's such a long way off..." and then,

"I've seen a hint of it, this happiness, this bliss. Just knowing it exists, I know that I must try..."

His words were like medicine, like a hug. I could feel them healing me.


I remember when we waited for him out the back of the Enmore and I whispered that I love him, and he whispered back to me. "I love you too Carly". I remember the elation, the internal shrieking, the validation I received from my ultimate idol.

I met a new friend that week - a Darren Hayes fan who was also in the queue at the Melbourne concert. I have her number stored in my phone as Candice Darren Hayes. She was the first person I called when Darren told me he loved me. I called her from a cab at midnight, because I knew she'd understand. We squealed and I talked at a million miles, recalling the joy of the moment with Darren. We Oh My God-ed a lot. And I'd only known her for 30 hours. She understood the power of being a fan.

I spent time in Sydney with good friends, eating, drinking and shopping. I walked the streets of Sydney alone in the day on the Friday, the sunshine on my face, just so happy, smiling about what had happened after Darren's concert the night before.

Those memories, they make me smile so much. My eyes light up and my hands gesture dramatically. I'm full of life when I tell people about the time Darren Hayes said he loved me out the back of the Enmore.

-

This week I feel happy. Because of a boy. He is kind, funny, happy, smart, community focused and cute. I think he's pretty awesome. I don't know what it is - probably friendship, maybe more. It doesn't have to be a definition, does it? And I don't want to share too much - I want to protect it, so we can keep creating these new memories. It's fragile and magic, like a handful of stardust. It feels good. I really enjoy the simplicity of our time together. It has been laughter and hugs and a wonky dink on his bike and him saying I've got such a happy face...that I'm beautiful. I smile when I think of him. And that's a lot.

But my memory is a lesson. I'm trying not to run ahead. I'm trying not to over think it. And I'm remembering not to let it get too complicated and enjoy this time for what it is. Happiness.

This is my entry for Sarah Wayland's What I know about... series. This fortnight's theme is Remembering. You can join in too.

-

PS - today I am guest posting at Styling You! I am writing about taking my blog to the public speaking circuit. It's a thrill to have my work on Nikki's blog - I have been a fan for years! Thanks for having me Nikki!

 

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On being a fan

"Make me feel like I'm the one who moves you,
The only one you see"
~ Fans - Kings of Leon

After I wrote the review of the Sydney Darren Hayes concert, and emotionally expressed my joy in meeting him, I received a comment from an anonymous reader expressing concern for my emotional wellbeing. Here is the original comment:

 “I enjoy reading your blog Carly... But this is an interesting read. I know you find comfort in Darren's lyrics and music however I feel that you are in a little too deep here... I feel that you are slightly obsessive and almost 'drowning' in what he gives to you. The fact that he is a gay man makes this 'relationship' you feel you have with him even more uncomfortable to read at times :)”

After a number of people went in to bat for me (thank you everyone) the anonymous reader replied:

“I'm quite happy to read your opinions on my original post and please let me clarify that I was not alluding to the fact that Carly's love for Darren can not be reciprocated in a traditional sense. I perfectly and honestly respect the love you have for him as a musician... I too believe that he is freakishly talented and I enjoy his lyrics too. My concern and question stems from the fact that Carly has obviously had heartbreak, distress and upheaval relating to her personal relationships and she is very open in discussing this. My post came from a place of concern for her emotional well-being. l just think the level of adoration she has for Darren is somewhat concerning... Gay or not gay has nothing to do with it. I'm only posting anon as I don't have any other sign ins.”

I also replied to the comments, ending with:

“Let me have this happiness without criticism or condescension. Maybe one day you'll experience the joys of being a fan too.”

While I wasn't upset by the comments made, I was disappointed that I was criticised for taking joy in meeting my idol and expressing how much he and his music means to me, after having such a shit time recently. Last week was truly the start of me getting back on track and feeling like the old Carly again.And that feels great.

And today I want to tell you about the joy I get from being a fan. Of Savage Garden and Darren Hayes more specifically. Laugh. Diagnose me with some sort of obsession. But also take the time to realise how the music moves me. It really does. And music and fanship moves other people too. I've got some friends' comments about being a fan too. Here goes.

 

I can recall the very moment I became a fan of Savage Garden. It was August 1996 and I was watching Rage. I saw Darren Hayes on the back of a truck on a Brisbane highway – reddish long hair, sounding a bit like Roxette. Daniel Jones, also on the back of the truck, was playing a guitar. The song was catchy, they band was cute. It was the I Want You video clip. “I am going to be a fan of everything this band does” I told myself. In September 1996 I went to Geelong on a family holiday with a friend. I remember buying the blue I Want You CD single, the one with the garden gnome on it, in a cardboard case that pulled out like a drawer. At the end of that year, I wished I had spent my $5 pocket money a few weeks before on a much coveted red version of the CD single, with a rare b-side. About three years later, a penpal sent me a signed red I Want You CD. Rare. And in November 1996, I remember seeing To the Moon and Back on Hey Hey It's Saturday. The song confirmed Savage Garden would be the band of my life. I bought that CD single too, and every single and album after, even the rare ones from overseas. I think I have around 80 Savage Garden and Darren Hayes CDs. I know people who have more. When my parents' house was under threat by bushfires, Mum asked me if there was anything I'd like saved. “My tower of Savage Garden CDs”, I told her.

Since I became a fan of Savage Garden, and continuing on with Darren Hayes, I've amassed a lot of stuff. Articles, CDs. Posters. Setlists. Merchandise. And memories. Memories are the most precious. I can recall all the concerts I've been to – even what I wore to the Savage Garden one in 1997. And I remember the moments that I've met Darren (I haven't met Daniel).

People laugh at me, and are also critical. Even I take the piss out of this particular love of mine sometimes. But I am a proud, dedicated and committed fan. Why am I a fan? And why Savage Garden and Darren Hayes?

When I was younger, I think it was an obsession. I couldn't stop thinking about how hot Darren was. I'd be inspired by his lyrics. My friends and I would analyse his interviews so much, and dream of what it'd be like to marry him. He had not yet come out. 15 years after I became a fan, my fanship is more realistic and mature. I don't want to marry him. I still think he's incredibly attractive. But my love goes deeper than the superficial. The music gives me incredible joy. It takes me back to a place when my life was simpler – before adulthood, but also provides hope for each day too. It's Darren's lyrics, perspective and experiences that I can relate to, and as he's grown. I've grown too. As I've matured, I've taken some solace (and sadness) knowing that some of the very things I've experienced (isolation, bullying, difference) are some of the things Darren's experienced too.

 (If you look closely you can see me in the background. Darren took my camera and took this photo himself!)

 I think Savage Garden and Darren Hayes helped to shape my identity. The music gave me something to believe in. It was there through my headphones when I've had needles, and posters on my wall when I've been sick in bed. I made many friends because of my fanship – penpals and face to face friends. I'm still friends with many of these people today. And just last week, at the Darren Hayes concert in Melbourne, I befriended a girl who was also there by herself. She read my review and couldn't believe how much she could relate to the way I feel as a fan. 

The music has also been a friend – for during the many times I've felt lonely or rejected or love-lost, or even so overwhelmed with love, I can immerse myself in it and it's like receiving a reassuring and loving hug. However, despite me and my fanship maturing, I can still be reduced to a puddle of tears (rather than screaming with awe) when faced with Darren Hayes in person.

The thrill of being a fan is what brings joy too. The race to stand at the front of the stage (and the standing that often accompanies it). The breath held as he walks out on stage. The rush through my veins as he sings live. The special moments when he's looked at me during a concert – and the kisses and hugs he's given me from the stage. And the wait outside the venue, hoping to meet him. And when the meet happens – wow. The shaking and immense happiness afterward.

Darren Hayes is a fan too. He's spoke at length about being a fan of Michael Jackson (and was very affected by his death - to the point of writing Glorious about Michael), Bono and Madonna. He has mentioned the excitement when he's met his idols, and his experience seems very similar to mine.

It's not only Savage Garden and Darren Hayes that I am a fan of. I love so many other bands, though not to the extent of getting super knowledgable about them. Probably the closest would be Angus and Julia Stone, Bob Evans and Genevieve Maynard. Back when I was young (and possibly dumb in one case) I was a super fan of Southern Sons (it was the long haired boys that caught my eye) and then cricketer Shane Warne (the dumb phase for me, pre-text messaging phase for him). I must say, I liked the look of Warnie when he looked more natural – bleached hair and tubby. I've actually met some wonderful friends through being a fan of other bands – Bob Evans in particular (I've met some great girls out at his gigs and online), and even become an online friend of one of my favourites – Genevieve Maynard. Genevieve has commented on some of my blog entries and has told me she's a fan of me too! And this means so very much, being a fan of her!

  

My Dad is a huge fan too. I think I get my dedication to the cause from him. He loves Liverpool Football Club, and I have not known him to miss a game. Before Albury received SBS on TV, we'd travel to Melbourne to watch big games. He'd listen in for the football scores on his shortwave radio at 7.55 am every night. Now he uses the internet to find the scores, and watches most games live on pay TV. It was Dad who encouraged me to go see Savage Garden live when I was 15 – I thought the idea of going to a live concert in Melbourne was pretty out there, but I am so glad I did.When Savage Garden broke up, a Brisbane radio station dedicated an hour of airtime to them. At this time, we only had dial-up internet so streaming radio stations online was a very slow option. So Dad encouraged me to call the Brisbane radio station and ask to be put on hold, so I could listen to the tribute. I did. Dad encouraged me to call the radio station, because that's what he'd do to hear information about Liverpool, back in his youth.
 

Before I was born, and when I was very young, Dad was out of work for some time. He used to do a program on community radio. This radio show saw him wrongly pronounce INXS as 'inksess'. He is not from Australia. Anyway, Dad was telling me about a man who also used to have a show on the same community radio station. This man was so committed to his passion he'd source rare music from rare record shops in Melbourne, and play the types of music he truly loved – cutting edge punk in the early 80s. He'd do fill in shifts. He loved his music, and he was dedicated to the cause. I admire that commitment and passion. I think it can give people something to live for.
 

So that's my story. I could write forever about being a fan. As mentioned above, I've got some more stories from friends about their fanship.When I read Edenland's blog about meeting Bono, I cried. Not because I am a huge fan of Bono, but because I could relate to the joy, and was so happy she got to meet her idol. I love reading/hearing other fan-meets-idol moments.

This one is my favourite, from Carmen, who I met at Bob Evans last year. She's a fan of Josh Pyke, and when I read on her Facebook that she met him, I was so excited for her, as I know what a great feeling it is to meet an idol.

“I am a fan of Josh Pyke. Haha. I love his music more than any other and it satisfies me in some way I cannot define.

It was like it was familiar to me even before I had ever heard it. A big part of it is that it provides me with an escape from the mundane and his voice & lyrics comfort me. I know that would probably sound ridiculous to a non fan.

He has songs that suit my best and worst days. Seeing him live is the ultimate and the times I have met him are like treasures I carry in my heart. I know it's soppy but if I can't say it here where can I? 

I also like the thrill of the hunt in finding him after a show and talking to him, it is never easy. I am very shy and it takes a lot for me to approach him but I do it as the rewards are great.
If I didn't find him to be as warm and sweet as I have done, he wouldn't be quite as special to me as he is.

I certainly don't think I am lacking anything in my life. My love for Josh is just an added extra.

Social media has had a big impact (mainly Twitter for me) as it has provided me with direct contact with him.

I could really relate to your latest Darren story as last time I met Josh he held out both his arms to me and pulled me in close and cuddled me. It was one of the best moments of my life. You have to be a fan to understand the thrill of that. It has nothing to do with him being 'known'. It is just him. Sorry if I sould completely mad, just had to get it out!”

Dane, a guy I work with, loves musicals. 

“I've had people comment that I'm crazy for seeing musicals all the time. If someone finds solace, comfort or escapism in someone's art, talent or interactions - no matter how deeply they feel it - it shouldn't be denied”.

Ellie K loves Bob Evans. Lucky Elly gets to have him sing at her house! 

“You will not be surprised to hear that I am a Bob Evans fan. I became a groupie at the ripe old age of 35! His music simply makes my life better. I can't explain it and people think I'm nutso but I don't care. There is just something about his music that satisfies my soul. I enjoy being enthusiastic and passionate about something so joyful. And my friends get pleasure and amusement from my joy. I had an amazing response of support (both financial and emotional) when I bid for Bob in the EMI auction. And because of them I won! In 15 days he will be in my house...And as an added bonus, through my fandom I have met some gorgeous fellow fans on-line including your lovely self.”

Joel, a guy I met at Steve Poltz earlier this year, and presenter on the Stibbard-Me-Timbers Radio Show, said this:

"For me, I grew up with Australian and New Zealand Rock, I really love the songwriting of Richard Clapton and Tim Finn. To me they represent a time when I was a young tacker growing up in the late 70's into the 80's so add in there Split Enz. Noel Crombie from the band also designed and sewed their costumes, creativity like that I regard highly.
I also really love the late 70's to early 80's underground British music - Simple Minds and anything experimental. Also punk but more The Clash style than Sex Pistols.

Moving into the 90's, I took a liking to a band from Sydney called 'The Clouds', Jodi Phillis and Patricia Young were a great songwriting combination and they played my hometown of Hobart on Hobart's second warmest day recorded at 40.8 degrees in December 1994.

Also Nirvana, I loved the fact that they totally transformed the music scene in 6 months then moving onto 'Foo Fighters'. I probably don't say I'm a fan of anyone too much but Dave Grohl for me is a total legend!”

And I think this is something that sums it all up for me. Tim, from the Stibbard-Me-Timbers Radio Show said: 

 “David Francey, he's a true folk singer and very creative, he worked in construction for years then developed a career in music. Sings about working class, poverty, cause he has been there and done it. His songs have timeless youngness about them. I can kind of relate or at least dream that I can inspire somebody in the same way, I think that what makes you like someone. If they write the song you feel you should've written or want to sing”.

I feel exactly that about Darren Hayes. He writes the songs I feel I should have written or want to sing. Especially this song. The Siren's Call. I recorded it in Sydney.

Who are you a fan of? And what joy does being a fan bring for you?

A Sydney adventure - guest post by Sydney Shop Girl

My regular readers will breathe a sigh of relief to know that this is the first post in November that does not feature Darren Hayes. And my concerned commenter can rest assure that I haven't drowned in my obsession (I will address that perception when I'm not so busy living a Hayesless life this week). This is a story of the other things I did in Sydney. Mostly eating and drinking. Fact.

Tonight's post is a guest post by the equally lovely and beautiful Sydney Shop Girl. When In Sydney I was privileged to spend an evening with her and Sandradee from St Frock. It was a gorgeous night harbour-side, and as I sat eating and drinking extravagantly, I realised I was in the company of two smart, funny and strong women, who have overcome such adversities. I admire them a lot, and I am so glad that we are friends. 

Sydney Shop Girl wrote this post on her blog so brilliantly I wanted to reproduce it on my blog. (It's actually lazy blogging - I am still in a food coma from my Sydney eating, and asleep on my feet from my Darren Hayes OBSESSION. Actually I am about to prepare for a pretty big week ahead. Got stuff to do). Take it away, SSG!

I'm a bit of a nanna when it comes to going out on a Friday night after work.

I like catching an early evening bus because they're usually pretty empty city bound and I get a seat and some piece and quiet whilst I listen to my BBC podcasts and try not to smudge my dramatic evening makeup.

This usually means I get to my destination early enough to have a soothing cup of tea before pre dinner drinks.

Soaking up the atmosphere outside Jamie's Italian on Friday night.  As you do.

And I also have an older persons dislike of queuing for dinner.  Or in the case of Jamie's Italian on Pitt Street (really hard to find actually), lining up in the the line to wait for the chance to have dinner.  Apparently, if you get to the start of the queue I was in, you get to wait 2 more hours for dinner.  7.30pm on a Friday?  I think not.

Luckily, Carly and S, who I was meeting for dinner felt the same about all the waiting.  We met, turned on our heels and walked to the Opera Kitchen, which is a relatively new development in the concourse area of the Opera House.

Where good food, seats and a bit of quiet came our way pretty quick smart.  We were blessed with perfect weather and clear skies.  The Sydney sky line at night always takes my breath away.

We decided to sample dishes from a few outlets at the kitchen, starting first with Kenji.  Kenji Nishinikagawa was originally the sushi chef at Koi in Woolwich (one of my favourite local haunts and I'm so sad it's now closed) and this sushi kitchen at the Opera Kitchen is his latest venture.

I'm cursing the decision to try and take photos in total darkness but I had no other choice.  The photo above was meant to be of our bento tower which was served high tea style.  We also each had a bowl of miso.  This wasn't overly salty but lacked a strength of character.

The top layer was an assortment of vegetable, prawn and calamari tempura. The batter was crisp and the vegetables had bite to them.

Underneath was a platter of mixed sushi and sashimi.  I was pretty impressed with the freshness in a 'food court' setting though the flavours were not as delicate and refined as at Koi.

The final layer was sashimi.

It wouldn't be a Friday night amongst friends without bubbles.  For me it was also a celebration of surviving a rather long and draining week.

I think Miss Chu will forever remind me of Carly, S and K (who was unable to join us on Friday).  We met earlier in the year at the original Miss Chu in Darlinghurst and now here we are at the Opera Kitchen ordering a few of our old favourites.  Unfortunately, they were all out of rice paper rolls.  I can safely say that this outpost of Miss Chu's is every bit as delicious as the mother ship.

The pork dumplings were juicy and well seasoned.

The 3 of us all eyed the final duck pancake.  But alas, there could only be one winner of a second serve.

There's always room for a bit of the 80s on a Friday night and we had our flash back with a prawn cocktail from the Cloudy Bay Fish Co.  It was deluxe.  The dressing wasn't fluorescent pink or too thick and there were plentiful prawns and a crisp vibrant bed of greens and red onion to boot.

We still had so much to talk about after all that food that ending the night with a dessert stop was the logical next step.  S and I managed to sweet talk (love the unintentional pun) Carly into going to Guylian for dessert.  Carly isn't the biggest chocolate fan but we convinced her that there would be non chocolate items on the menu - macarons, danishes and the like (or at least we thought we'd seen these foods at Guylian the last time we checked).

We needn't have worried.  Once we entered the chocolate coated world of the Guylian Cafe (link to menu) at Circular Quay, Carly decided that she'd bat for our team just this once.  We ordered a tasting plate which included a hot chocolate that our waitress kindly offered to divide into 3. In hindsight I wondered how 1 person alone could finish a hot chocolate as well as the array of desserts that accompanied it.

The hot chocolate is served with a Guylian chocolate seahorse at the base of the cup.

Then someone with a steady hand like S pours hot chocolate over the seahorse and you stir the 2 together.

It was heaven and a little goes a long way.  Carly was impressed.  Here she is modelling the Diva replica of the Duchess of Cambridge's sapphire engagement ring.  We were both lucky to get ours as they sold out at full price at practically every Diva store in Australia.  Apparently Kim K's version is now going for half price.  I might investigate this during the week.  Carly, if you want me to pick you up one, please let me know ASAP.

Yes, that's the tasting plate.  The scoop of vanilla and berry ice cream was delicious actually.

A cup of chocolate dipping sauce with strawberries and a selection of beautifully decorated cakes.

I am pretty sure at least one of them was a chocolate sesame cake, another a chocolate mousse cake and the pure pleasure cake with almond in it.  There were also chocolates.  There was too much choice.  The orange gold flakes scattered on the plate looked gorgeous.  If I wasn't so full I would have tried them too.

What more can I say?  Here's to friends, food and Friday nights!

Sunday Sessions - Darren Hayes, I don't know you anymore, live from Sydney

I am still on a high from the incredible Darren Hayes concerts this week! It's my last day of holidays today, and I have a little bit of stuff to do. I predict this coming week will be hard to get through without a Darren concert. (There will be a Kings of Leon concert next Sunday though!)

This is one of my highlights from The Secret Tour - the classic I don't know you anymore, from Savage Garden's Affirmation album. Hauntingly beautiful. I recorded this in Sydney.

You can also take part in the Sunday Sessions link up.Head over to Do I really wanna blog? to enter :)

 

Darren Hayes in Sydney - the full concert and meeting experience

Seeing Darren Hayes live at the Enmore Theatre in Sydney was amazing!

Musically and performance-wise, I think he was more energetic than Melbourne. He jumped around the stage with boyish abandon - punching the air, dancing and running about. His voice was so powerful. The way he danced to the beats of Billie Jean felt so relaxed. “Of course I can dance, I’m gay”, he said, to which the audience erupted into cheers and applause. He was so passionate. I loved it!

I think I took the time to appreciate the music in Sydney, whereas in Melbourne I was overwhelmed by the whole experience - taking everything in. I sang along last night, not too worried about capturing every moment on camera.

My friends and I were in the front row - it was so good to be able to lean on the railing. My legs are like jelly and feet like rocks. I feel asleep on my feet. So very tired.

I adored I don’t know you anymore even more than Wednesday night - I think it’s the vulnerability he showed in it. Such a powerful song.

The absolute highlight of my night was waiting for him outside the venue after the show. We waited for about an hour with around 30 other fans. And the tension built as we waited for Darren, scoping the best vantage point around the van. Security was beefed up. And then his manager arrived, telling us Darren would be out but he lost his voice so he wouldn’t be talking to us but would sign merchandise. And the crowd was warned against screaming, as we were in residential street. And I took note (be very proud).

So Darren came out. And when he reached me, I whispered ‘I love you Darren’, my hand outstretched. He whispered in return ‘I love you too, Carly’, and touched my hand. ♥

Such a precious moment. Amazing. He signed the venue running sheet I got too. And signed my friend’s setlist. He is very giving and lovely. 

I am so incredibly happy. My life is complete. I shed a few tears at his concert, during the Siren's Call and when I met him. Unbelievable.

I can’t explain the feeling I get from loving Darren. Only other fans understand. The energy that surges through me when I experience his music - live or recorded, and the excitement I get from listening to him speak in interviews is so powerful. Today I’ve had a smile in my face as I walked the streets of Sydney, just knowing the night I’ve had.

I wrote him a note on his Facebook wall today:

Thank you Darren for an amazing two shows in Australia. I’m not going to Brisbane but I’m so glad I had the privilege of seeing you twice this tour. You sing amazingly and I love the passion and energy you have on stage.

This album means so much to me - I feel most of the songs were written about some of the things I have experienced. Your lyrics are universal. Seeing you sing it live brought me to tears, at both shows.

Keep making this beautiful music. You and the talent you possess means the world to me and so many others.

And thank you for meeting fans last night. You made my year after I said I love you and you whispered back ‘I love you too’.

Thank you. I love you :) ♥