Songs of influence

It’s been my life-long dream to go on radio and play my favourite songs, especially Savage Garden - and last Thursday I did it! I was so excited to have been invited onto Are You Looking At Me? on 3CR - it's a conversation show about equality and difference, with conversations about disability and also the music the guests choose to play. The show is hosted by the lovely Liz Wright - she made me feel so comfortable and I could have spoken to her for hours. I think I've made a great new friend. It was a great afternoon having a chat about blogging life and music. I did sing in the studio (mics off) and I did have a cider. Doing the radio interview was ironic given I wrote about conversations that day. Listen to my interview here.

This little collection was really hard to curate. I love so many bands, and all music has had some sort of impact on my life. But alas! I was limited to three songs! I like Australian music and good lyrics - these songs fit that bill.

Savage Garden – To the Moon and Back

Darren Hayes has been the love of my life. I first saw Savage Garden’s I Want You video clip on Rage in August 1996 and loved the look and sound of the band. I made a decision that this is the band I was going to love and follow. To The Moon And Back is probably my favourite Savage Garden song, though I have a big list of favourites by Darren Hayes. I particularly love the acoustic version of the song. I’ve seen Savage Garden live three times – the first time was an under 18s show at the now-bulldozed Palace Theatre in St Kilda in 1997 (for $18!), then twice at Rod Laver Arena in 1998 and 2000. I’ve seen Darren solo lots of times, and met him too. Last time I met him I flew to Sydney to see him at the Enmore. About 30 fans waited for him outside after the show. He had lost his voice so couldn’t talk. When it was finally my chance to meet him, I whispered “I love you Darren” and he said “I love you too, Carly”. Neighbourhood noise restrictions prevented me from squealing loudly, but I was squealing inside! I didn’t only develop a love of Savage Garden’s music – the band brought me passion, excitement, a sense of identity and strong friendship. I love being a fan. I love the rush of energy seeing bands live, of meeting the singers and of collecting information about posters about my idols. I have a whole box of Darren Hayes and Savage Garden stuff, plus 90+ CDs that I asked my parents to save when the bushfires were close to their house.

Bob Evans - Nowhere Without You

I first heard Bob Evans (alter ego of Kevin Mitchell) in 2006 during a difficult part of my life. I had escaped an ongoing confidence-destroying situation in Melbourne for four months - I went back to live with my parents to get myself right again. I hated the regional commercial radio stations and so made the switch to Triple J on my 30 minute drive to work. I'd listen to the breakfast show, loving the variety of music, and one day heard Nowhere Without You by Bob Evans. It was catchy, jingly-jangly, singer-songwritery, and made me drum on the steering wheel. Then I heard Bob Evans was the lead singer of Jebediah - that band I was a bit scared of in my teens. I came to love Jebediah because of Bob Evans (I told Kevin that I was too busy listening to Savage Garden back in the day to become a fan of Jebediah). I've been a big fan of KevBob since 2006 - going to a show on every tour he's done since 2006 (except that small show he did when I was flying from London to Los Angeles last year). Two of my favourite moments at his shows have been when he asked me to hold his lyrics on stage at The Tote, and winning a competition to see him at a tiny show at Spotify HQ in Sydney. We chat on Twitter – it’s great that social media enables this. The line "I just can't make it on my own" resonates with me because it signifies me asking my parents for help again.

Silverchair – Miss You Love

Neon Ballroom was the album that got me into Silverchair. I was finally liking a band that was considered cool! I surprisingly enjoy the dark lyrics, and think the theatrical music is very uplifting. Miss You Love is my favourite song on the album, with Emotion Sickness coming a close second. I once wrote a very long blog post analysing Miss You Love. I listened to Neon Ballroom all through year 12. I spent a lot of time in the library “studying” – actually writing poems about boys I’d fallen in love with on the internet. My poetry was inspired by Silverchair and also Douglas Stewart, the Australian bush poet I had studied in year 11. A strange combination! Miss You Love is such an honest song, looking at the struggles Daniel had coping with fame as a young adult. That line “I love the way you love, but I hate the way I’m supposed to love you back” gets me every time.

I've got so many more songs that have influenced me and hope to play some more on radio one day in the future!

What are your most influential songs?

 

No more Tomorrow for Silverchair or Spicks and Specks. First Ladies of Style. A jam packed week.

This past week has been so busy I've barely had time to rest. It has all caught up with me and now I am sick with a cold. I have spent the day in bed catching up on blogs and watching the TV I missed out on in the week. A meal is cooking in the slow cooker but I cannot smell its deliciousness.

I've seen several bands, acquired two set lists from the concerts (Eskimo Joe and Bachelor Girl), and met most of the members of the two main acts. Here is a sneak peak of me with Bachelor Girl last night.

Concert reviews coming soon. I also interviewed Tania Doko last week. You can read the interview here.

Yesterday I had a girls day/night out with three of the lovely girls I met at High Tea. It was great to catch up and laugh and eat. We did some speed friending at Be My Wingman and had dinner before Bachelor Girl. We went for convenience over interestingness and dined at Nandoes next to The Forum. I had so much chicken at Nandos. I was starving after only eating my cold remedy of pho with chilli and lemon at 11 am. I can proudly say I wolfed down the burger minus the bun, all of the chips, and a quarter chicken with hot sauce. Go me.

I also did a speech at a Grit Media function - more to come about that later this week.

This past week saw announcements the end of two of my favourite things. The music game show Spicks and Specks and the Australian band Silverchair. Both want to finish on a high.

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Spicks and Specks is regular TV viewing for me. And when I go to my parents', Dad and I put our hands on buzzers and take the game very seriously. Mum usually annoys us with talking through the show, but it's all in good fun. I love the segment where singers sing the tune to a song from the lyrics of an eccentric book. Grace Woodroffe sung beautifully using a book about bowel movement. Spicks and Specks is side splittingly funny. Adam Hills has great one liners and team captains Adam Brough and Myf Warhurst know their music. The guests are usually the funniest part of the show. I will miss Spicks and Specks a lot.

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And Silverchair. They haven't released music or toured for a while so I guess it was inevitable they were going to call it a day. Or "indefinite hibernation".

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Their statement:

"We formed Silverchair nearly 20 years ago when we were just 12 years old. Today we stand by the same rules now as we did back then ... if the band stops being fun and if it's no longer fulfilling creatively, then we need to stop.   Therefore after much so...ul searching we wanted to let you know that we're putting Silverchair into "indefinite hibernation" and we've decided to each do our own thing for the foreseeable future.   We assure you that this decision has not been taken lightly. In fact we've been struggling with it for quite a while now.   Back in 2009 we went into the studio to start work on a record. Initially things were going well and as a result we did some shows in 2010 to maintain creative momentum. However, over the months that followed in the studio it became clear to us that we were moving in different directions. Despite our best efforts over the last year or so, it's become increasingly clear that the spark simply isn't there between the three of us at the moment.   As a result we've decided to put the band into 'a deep sleep' while we all do other things that we find more inspiring right now. This means that Silverchair won't be making music together or playing shows any time soon. It also means that the three of us won't be working together unless and until it feels right again.   We understand some of you may be disappointed by this news but we really see it as a liberating and positive step for us at this point in our lives.   We also want to make it really clear that this decision has been made with the best possible intentions. We've always tried our hearts out to make the best music we could possibly make at the time - regardless of commercial consequences.   The three of us still truly care about each other. At the moment Ben’s busy in the studio recording his own music, Chris is working on various business, musical and charitable ventures while Daniel is creating a film soundtrack and working on other musical projects. We hope you'll continue to take an interest in our individual work over the years ahead.   In closing we'd like to acknowledge all the people 'behind the scenes' who've helped us keep this train on the tracks since we first started playing in a garage. There are too many to name but they know who they are and we truly appreciate all their love and hard work.   Above all though we want to thank you for all your support in good times and bad. You've put up with our long breaks between albums, our constantly changing musical styles and lots more. The unbelievable loyalty we've been shown by you our audience, and our friends, has never gone unnoticed or unappreciated. That’s why we wanted to tell you first.   With Sincere Thanks For Your Understanding.   Sweet Dreams.   Daniel, Ben and Chris"

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Silverchair marked the maturing of my music tastes. I loved Neon Ballroom especially Miss You Love, which I wrote about in depth. I wrote poetry inspired by Daniel Johns' lyrics - they helped me explore my own issues of isolation. The Across the Night tour in 2003 was the reason I chose Melbourne as a place to work - I received job offers in Canberra and Melbourne and had bought tickets to Silverchair's Melbourne show so I thought if I lived in Canberra I couldn't make it to see them. I returned to Albury to see them with Powderfinger in 2007.

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And I have always admired Daniel's courage and honesty about his struggles with anorexia, bullying and arthritis.

Silverchair have written and recorded some brilliant music. It is complex and theatrical. I look forward to their solo pursuits.

Emotion Sickness is also a favourite of mine. I think it's a masterpiece.


Vale Spicks and Specks and Silverchair.

Lastly, like so many others, I was inspired by Princess Kate Middleton and Michelle Obama's fashion frenzy when they met in London last week. Stunning. So elegant.

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I tweeted this story and my friend stated "only Carly shares the important news". Indeed. The dresses made world headlines - particularly Kate's which was a steal at 175 GBP. Shoppers eager to dress like a Duchess made the Reiss website crash. You can buy your own Shola bandage dress here - just make sure you call Kate to see if she's wearing it the same time as you. You don't want to be mistakenly papped while wearing it.

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Kate needn't worry about me turning up to the same party as her in the Shola dress, but Michelle Obama better watch out. I am stealing her style.  Raiding her wardrobe. I LOVE this!

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I think these First Ladies can run the world simply on their fashion choices.

Freak

I had the worst end to the best day. It was spent with friends having 2 pm breakfast, wine and lots of laughs. Fantastic company, lots of fun.

I headed home on the train about 6.30. I put my headphones on and noticed a group of four teenagers staring at me. My music was on softly so I could hear them say how red I look, and laughing about my appearance. The ones who could see me pointed me out to the ones who were facing away from me. For them to get a better view, two of them took photos of me on their iPhones and showed them to the others. The angles they held their phones at made it pretty obvious they were photographing me. They continued to take photos of me, and when I stood up to exit the train, there a mad scramble to put their phones down.

I rarely confront someone if they aren't directly speaking to me about my appearance. Today I did.

When I reached the door, I said 'hey guys, could you please stop taking photos of me and showing them around. It's disrespectful'. Of course they denied it, muttering how stupid I am to say that. I said 'I may be red but I'm not stupid. I could see what you were doing'. Smirks continued. I said something else about them not understanding or respecting disability, and mentioned that my appearance has got me a role on TV. I was shaking, and even almost an hour later, I am still shaking.

Then, for the kindness of strangers, a man who sat opposite the kids took out his headphones and gave them a serve, telling them to stop harassing me and that he'd take them all on. It was quite a hallelujah moment for me. He really did improve the situation.

It's rare that strangers come to my aid when others stare, point and harass me. I thank this man so much for doing so. He's a really good person for doing so.

I doubt these kids will even reflect on what they've done and I've said. They're probably laughing about the crazy red girl who told them off in the train, and comparing pictures of me with their other small minded mates.

I was speaking to someone yesterday about the hot weather, and how I hate it. She sympathised with me. I said that the weather is physically difficult for my skin, but the thing that is often worse is peoples' reactions and assumptions about it. Times like today I feel like a freakshow. Like the silverchair video. But without the botox or Daniel Johns.

I know I'm not a freak. But I am someone whose appearance is ridiculed on a regular basis.

I do know, however, that I am courageous, smart, positive, and beautiful enough to rise above their shit. I also have enough self worth not to carry this day with me for the rest of my life, and remember that the peoples' opinions about me that really matter are those who love me for who I am. And I'm stronger than these fuckwits will ever be.

Miss You Love - an analysis of a beautful Silverchair song

The other day when I was searching for a video of Silverchair's Freak song on YouTube, I came across their song Miss You Love.

Miss You Love is maybe my top favourite Silverchair song, and up there with favourite songs of all time. I adore it.

I also love with equal parts: Ana's Song, Emotion Sickness, Without You, Across The Night, Cemetery and The Greatest View. I pretty much like their old stuff better than their new stuff.

My love for their music is very specific. It starts at Freakshow and stops at Diorama. I think Daniel Johns looked his best in this period (despite his unfortunate illnesses of anorexia and arthritis) and their music was the most imaginative and beautiful.I love the metaphors in the lyrics, the theatrics of the music particularly with the Neon Ballroom and Diorama albums. I am not keen on Young Modern nor Frogstomp apart from Tomorrow.

I think Daniel Johns is so creative and articulate, and damn good looking to boot. His honesty is refreshing. I really admire how he has overcome his adversities. I once met Ben Gillies when he played in Tambalane. I asked Ben how Daniel was. He said 'aren't you going to ask how Chris is too?' - I was very embarrassed.

I digress.

You may recall in this blog entry that Neon Ballroom was one of the albums that influenced me during 1999.

I loved the darkness, and could relate to some of the isolation Daniel Johns wrote and sang about.

Miss You Love was of course my favourite song, The lyrics are beautifully sad. There's a sense of love and despair because of the adoration from others.

Daniel said that at the time of writing Neon Ballroom, he was in a dark place and he hated music.

"I wrote . . . Neon Ballroom in that time where I hated music, really everything about it, I hated it. But I couldn't stop doing it and I felt like a slave to it."

I believe Miss You Love was written about the pressures of stardom Daniel (and probably Chris Joannou and Ben Gillies) felt at such a young age.

'But I'm not too sure
How I'm supposed to feel
Or what I'm supposed to say
But I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day'

That fame they had, at what, 15 years old? I can't imagine.

On Andrew Denton's Enough Rope in 2004, Daniel spoke of the overwhelming feeling of fame:

'I think having three million people owning the first thing that you've ever recorded makes you kind of have to live up to it, in a way. It kind of puts pressure... It put pressure on me and I was obsessed with spending every second of every day studying music and becoming better and better and... Just because I felt like I wasn't worthy of what had come to me at a really early age. I needed to live up to it, I guess, you know?'

I guess that is where my favourite line of the song comes from - 'I love the way you love, but I hate the way I'm supposed to love you back'. This line is beautiful, and selfishly, I always wanted it to somehow relate to me - where I wanted to be adored by someone but wasn't sure how to feel. I guess it does apply in reverse though - I am always on the unrequited end of unrequited love!

The video clip of Miss You Love is equally compelling.

Many of Silverchair's videos tell a story or are artfully directed, like short films.

Miss You Love tells a few stories of love. The detail is amazing.

It details difference audience members' feelings as they watch a film, and also the feelings of the film's characters, too.

Silverchair enter the cinema theatre via a back entrance. Maybe to avoid the crowds and the attention that goes with fame. Yes. They don't look on comers in the eye.

Daniel sits away from Ben and Chris, tense, wary, hands clenched and teeth gritted. Isolated. Thin. I feel sad for him. Like the song Ana's Song, this video probably reflects his life back then quite truthfully.

I love how immersed in the film and music the audience members are, to the point where Chris catches Ben singing along and they both laugh.

There's the guy who looks reluctant when his girlfriend takes his band in the first 'I love the way you love...' line.

The film's characters are two lovers on the verge of break up. Their subtitled dialogue says:

~'Are you falling asleep?'
~'No I'm falling apart.'

Sigh.

There's the usherette who is reading by torchlight through the film. I can't figure her out. She's emotional.

Sometimes I think she is immersed in the sadness or love story of the book she is reading, imagining herself as a character, trying to escape from he mundane reality of her job as an usherette.

Other times I think just wants to be noticed amongst the crowd because she feels insignificant - being stepped over by audience members. I can't help think she wants to be noticed by the reel operator. But he's being more than just noticed by another girl. And this probably happens every film he reels.

And then, the handsome guy watching the film intently. He sings along with the song. He looks uncomfortable in some parts of the film. Like he's identifying the situation of the lovers on screen. Like he's got a lover he's about to break up with. Is he walking out of the cinema before the film's end to make up or break up with his lover?

I love the way the video to Miss You love shows so much emotion from different characters.

Gosh that was an in depth analysis. I have not analysed something that much since year 12 English. But I love that video clip and have thought about its meaning a lot over these past 11 years.

I would love to chat to Silverchair about the thought process behind the making of the clip.

What are your thoughts on this remarkable song and video?

Here is the video and the lyrics.



'Millionaire say
Got a big shot deal
And thrown it all away but
But I'm not too sure
How I'm supposed to feel
Or what I'm supposed to say
But I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love

Make room for the pray
'Cause I'm coming in
With what I wanna say but
It's gonna hurt
And I love the pain
A breeding ground for hate but...

I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people

Remember today
I've no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love

I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I'm supposed to love you back

It's just a fad
Part of the teen, teenage angst brigade and
I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people

Remember today
I've no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love

Remember today
I've no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love

I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I'm supposed to love you back'

(Miss You Love - written by Daniel Johns, performed by Silverchair)