Ichthyosis and pride. A bloggy break.

Photo by Rick Guidotti

As Ichthyosis Awareness Month came to a close, I thought of the stories shared on my blog and across social media - people have been courageous for starting out. There are so many variations of the condition, and so many different experiences.

Many people have not ‘come to terms’ with their condition - hiding it - and that’s ok. Others believe it hasn’t taken over their lives - that they haven’t become Ichthyosis - and that’s ok too.

But it’s also ok to see Ichthyosis as part of our identity, and to be proud to have the condition. Many disagree with me but it affords us so much: a point of difference amongst the clones, a conversation starter, the ability to think and act deeper than the superficial, a great sense of perspective and the option to be part of a supportive, connected community.

Be proud of your identity - Ichthyosis and all. Work at being proud every day. 'You get proud by practising.'

-

This is a busy week at my day job and with writing and speaking projects, plus I put in a lot of work on the blog in May. I'm taking this week off blogging. See you next week. Have fun, be safe. 

Recovering from blogger burnout. Losing myself in shaping my blog.

I wrote some of this post, ironically, after I said I need to take a short break from blogging. I was writing again pretty much immediately after pressing publish. I got this amazing comment on my blog, after that post. It spoke to me:

"This is just my opinion, so take it for what it is worth.

Content does not always have to be "research, back linking, proofing, social media promotion" - I'm reading *your* blog, and it is ok to be you. Not some content producing robot. It is ok to just post a photo and/or a quick thought, or a link to something you read which you found interesting.. a memory, a this is what I did today, a recipe you love..

"bloggers are being encouraged to"

And who exactly made that person king of blogging? :) I think "problogging" can be a great thing at times. Sometimes, it can put massive amounts of pressure on people to be a certain way or produce posts which totally and completely bypass the reason we - their readers - loved them in the first place.

I find this seems to happen a lot after "conferences" where people are told all kinds of wonderful things and then they want to come home and put all this stuff they were told into action, and in the process they lose the one thing which most of their readers loved about their blog - themselves. :(

"I want each blog post to move a reader."

And wouldn't that be an exhausting blog to read, not to menton write - for every single post to move your readers. It is ok to move people on an irregular basis. It is ok for moving people to come as a surprise to your people, and not be an expectation for every single post written. I think you want to move people once a week at most, otherwise you'll burn out your readers as well as yourself. :)

Just be you. I like you, for who you are, not the "content" you produce and twist yourself into pretzels to create. Pretzels can be fine, they can be awesome, but if you have them each and every day, you crave icecream, or a macaron, or a cat photo. :)

Do your own thing. Be who you *are* - not who someone else says you should be, not someone you are "encouraged" to be. That is the reason I subscribed to your blog, and I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way."

Thank you so much Snoskred. That comment! I needed it! I get you and agree with you and this is what I wanted to read. Somehow I may have lost myself in shaping the direction of my blog. Somehow I've made myself busier!

I do feel the pressure to write, to perform, and like everything I do in life, I'm a perfectionist. I write for me - and so my theory about perfection vs excellence means I strive for perfection rather than excellence. It's silly isn't it? Feeling the most pressure from ourselves.

I came back from Problogger with so many good ideas. I've already been filling up a notepad, talking to people who can bring these ideas to life. Funnily, many of those don't involve actual blogging. Those ideas are all about blogging, but use the blog as a springboard. And so while I want to focus on building those projects - all will be revealed soon - I need to just be. And I've enjoyed taking some time out, reducing that pressure to have something on the blog every second day.

A blog conference always leads to heightened inspiration - the content coupled with being in the presence of like minded people really does make you realise your potential. But there is overwhelm - of the crowds, the wonderful inspiring speakers, the ideas that you come back with, and also the experience of being away for a weekend. If there was a scale of overwhelm, I'd say this type is at the good end. I'd much rather be overwhelmed with excitement and inspiration than anxiety, fear and idea blockages - but I acknowledge that for many, these conferences might leave them feeling all of those things on the not so great end of the scale. When I got back from Problogger, I did notice bloggers wonder if they fit in; if they're doing it right. The ever lovely Pip Lincolne has some nice advice about how to overcome the overwhelm.

After blog conferences there's a danger of comparing ourselves to each other. The thing for me is that I keep comparing myself to what I've already done and want to do more. I compare myself to my last achievement and want to do more, do better. This is blogger burnout.

While blogging hasn't stopped being fun, the pressure to produce a post - or content as it's known in the industry - is tiring. For now, this isn't a full time job. I've been looking to decrease my day job hours so I can do more of this amazing writing and speaking career. I don't want to just be producing content, because that seems robotic. I want to keep it interesting and topical and continue to educate. But as my dear commenter said, it is ok to move people on an irregular basis.

This isn't a whinge about the sheer volume of wonderful opportunities that have come my way because of blogging. But the input definitely doesn't match the output. I did some invoices in bulk recently and the money I've made in projects away from my blog was more than 10 times the amount I've made through ads and sponsored posts here. It is hard work.

I've also found recently I've began to temper myself more online. The more of a following I have, the more conscious I am about what I'm saying, how I'm presenting myself online. There have been times I've been questioned for having an opinion on experiences and issues - because there's the belief my opinion contradicts my appearance activism.

I don't style my life online, but I am focused on what I write here - trying to ensure I set a good example, that don't contradict what I stand for, and knowing that what I do write may be scrutinised and criticised. But sometimes I will have an opinion that doesn't seem like 'me' - the online Carly that readers are used to seeing online - and that is ok. Please don't be disappointed. Hell, I commented on our Prime Minister's budgie smugglers recently and was hauled over the coals for not being true to my appearance activism work - I was told I was body shaming him. I wasn't.

I read an article about whether personal blogging can survive monetisation and this paragraph resonated with me the most:

"Most of all, when you blog about yourself, you’re putting YOU out there for strangers to judge. Most 99% of the time it’s good. But there will be times when people will judge, say they don’t like what you’re doing, or what you’re wearing and you will have to be tough enough to live with that judgement."

You do have to be tough. It's funny how out of a bajillion lovely comments, the not so nice ones stick.

There are opinions I'd love to share but, for many reasons, I can't. Having an opinion has cost me friends. And truthfully, I'm devastated. Having an online opinion is probably harder than in 'real life' opinions because there's no body language or fluid back and forth conversation for the intention to be interpreted clearly. And it seems that it's more difficult to clear the air in person when communication with them is mostly online. And the worst is when people who don't ordinarily contact me do so just to disagree. I'm all for differing opinions but if a differing opinion is all you're going to offer, then I'm going to feel hurt.

I've recently seen some commentary about blogging (and other issues) online that has caused some heated words. Looking at these examples, and also experiences I've had, I wonder whether we are able to ever ask questions about blogging/bloggers' behaviour/social media online or is this something to ask in person? Does this commentary get more dramatic online because of:

-the chance of misinterpretation

- the length of question and answer

- the pack mentality of the replies

- replying in the heat of the moment

- the ease of typing something compared to talking in person?

I don't know. I do think conversations aboutblogging issues, online behaviour and etiquette need to be had - the more transparently the better, but I question whether having them online all the time is the right platform. (I saw this post about that topic on Facebook - must listen to the podcast soon.)

We're making this blogging business up as we go along. That's how new it is. Sure, there are many experts providing us great advice. But the great thing about blogging and having our own blogs is that it can be anything we want it to be. It's ok to slow down or change direction or only post on Sundays.

Me? I've got to keep telling myself that it's ok not to go at full speed with everything I do. It's ok to let some of the day-to-day posts creep back into this blog. And it's ok not to be liked by everyone. It's good to find myself.

 

 

 

 

Advice for attending a blog conference.

I'm super excited to go to the Problogger Event next week. It's a four day weekend for me - a holiday in the sunshine state and a catch up with good friends, plus visiting the breakfast buffet more than once. But it's also worky - I'm going to drink all the bloggy advice (and the wine) and feel a sense of rejuvenation and leave filled to the brim with ideas.

There are a few awesome posts offering advice for attending blog conferences - check out Kiki and Tea, Talking Frankly, Kidspot and Impactiv8.

So I will just give three tips. I've been to a few conferences now, and here's what I've learnt.

What to take:

Your tablet or smart phone - for live tweeting and note taking, and for photo taking. A spare one if you have one. Usually you can connect to wifi there.

Your charger, or portable charging devices and a power board. Because lots of tweeting and photo taking drains batteries. There are never enough powerpoints at these events - a power board means you can buddy up charging with your blog buddy. I have a cool portable charger - I bought it from a vending machine at the train station. It's by PowerPod. I cannot believe I got it from a vending machine!! The charger can be recharged by plugging it in to a USB wall charger or computer.

A notepad and paper - for old-school note taking.

Comfortable shoes - you will be dashing between rooms for different sessions, standing up for lunch and dancing the night away.

Business cards. I get mine made by Vistaprint.

Use social media during the conference:

I like to live tweet. I see it as a double service - making notes for yourself and sharing the conference with the outside world (or those in other sessions). Taking notes this way is a great way to save your ideas via tweets and to make blog posts from them afterward.

Announce to your social media followers that you'll be live tweeting (some may be unimpressed by voracious tweeting but for many not attending, the live tweets are gold). If you can't be there, follow along #pbevent - I'm on twitter @carlyfindlay.

Here are my tips for live tweeting.

Being social:

Please say hello. Not just to me but to other bloggers you're connected with in cyberspace over time. We don't bite. I'm always so disappointed when someone says they saw me from afar but were too scared to say hello to me.

Don't place anyone on a pedestal and feel intimidated to speak to them. The blogger you think is a rock star is just like you. We all started without a blog. I once sat next to journalist Jacinta Tynan at a blogging session and struck up a convo with her via twitter before she turned to me with a friendly smile and a hello.

Blogging conferences can be a great change to meet up with friends, but the information overload, big crowds and hyper-catch ups can be tiring.Take some time out if things are overwhelming. I went to the pool and sat in the sunshine last year instead of going to a session.

I hope this is useful for you.

I've got another post coming up before Problogger - it's a prelude to my panel talk on blogging for social good - look out for that next week. And no doubt I will write lots of Problogger-inspired posts after the conference, like I did last year.

See you on the Gold Coast, or see you online!

 

What I know about conversations

 

(Source)

I love talking to people - to friends, to strangers. It's great getting to know someone, to hear how they pronounce words and listen to their laugh. When I was in England I'd try to talk to someone new on the train every day. The friends I stayed with freaked out because I was talking to strangers, even letting them carry my bag. But it was a great way to stave off being alone in a foreign country.

I used to have lengthy phone calls but these have reduced considerably. Who talks on the phone anymore? Now most of my conversations are online. This doesn't detract from the quality or depth of them at all. There's always someone to talk to online, always someone to listen. I hunch over and cup my phone like a steaming mug, and spend my time crafting words on my phone. I think the evolution of posture will be called iPosture.

I fall in love during conversations. I know when I am not falling in love because I don't get that excited feeling in my tummy during a conversation. I fall in love with people's words, they're honey, a trap.

I wrote this almost a year ago. It was a difficult write. Been thinking a little about it lately, even though I shouldn't. And then I remember how good things are now.

What we had was so intangible – pretty much two years of words on a screen, dancing over both our hearts. There were breathy phone-calls and mutual realisations of love – the kind of stuff that unleashed a kaleidoscope of butterflies in my stomach...

In this digital age, it is easy to be consumed by words. We are wrapped up in communication. For me, words have more power on the screen – I can feel the emotion in each syllable, and if there is love intended in the message, I can forgive the sender not knowing the difference between you’re and your. Maybe, because I am a writer, and communicating via the internet has been a large part of my life for 15 years, words can make me fall in love before I even get to breathe the person’s scent. Words have created the personas I’ve come to love. Am I an idiot?

I felt something for him in his first message to me, back in May 2010. He was dangerous, but I wanted more. And I got more. I should have put a full stop on his words, before they hurt me further. But I let the sentences run on too long, only punctuated when he wanted to stop what we had. Again and again. He was so bad that the good shone brightly around my perception of him, like stars peering through a night sky...

There’s a blank page now, where new words are invited to bring me new happiness. And when they come, I’ll try not to read into them too much. It may just save my heart.

A good conversation is like a journey. Long and winding, with many discoveries. I never feel like anyone is too important (or not important enough) to talk to - I will talk to anyone.

I used to be told off for talking too much. It's paid off. And now I do it with purpose. I talk in front of many, making them think, laugh and sometimes cry, and I'm not afraid. Today I'm having a conversation on radio, about the influential songs in my life. I've waited for this moment forever.

This is a writing prompt from the lovely Sarah Wayland - the theme is What I know about conversations. You can join in too.

 

Introducing Neil from Bushwalking Blog: a BUPA Health Influencer award winner

The winners of the BUPA Health Influencer blog awards are fantastic people, and I am proud to be in their company. I want to introduce you to them each week, and I encourage you to read their blogs. They've all made a positive difference in their communities and also in their own lives.

Today's post features Neil Fahey from Bushwalking Blog. Neil provides all sorts of tips about bushwalking. He won the Healthy Lifestyle category. I first met Neil at the BUPA blog awards but had chatted to him on Twitter before that. Aside from being happy he is a winner, I'm also happy he's making my friend Lori so very happy too :) Meet Neil!

"Bushwalking Blog started when I booked a hike on the Inca Trail in mid-2009, and realised I was completely unprepared. I started hiking regularly and found myself visiting some amazingly beautiful places, which I thought it would have been a shame not to keep a record of. It grew from there and now features everything from how-tos and trip reports, to news, outdoors photography, safety tips, and gear reviews.

My aim with Bushwalking Blog is to make hiking more accessible, and inspire others to get off the couch and enjoy the many benefits of a walk in nature. I do this by providing readers with helpful tips and advice but most importantly, I provide ideas for places to hike that can easily be found by location, length, or difficulty.

Writing is one of my favourite pastimes. I feel a certain satisfaction every time I hit the Publish button on a blog post. It's one of the things I need in my life in order to be happy.

Aside from that, blogging has enabled me to gain more exposure for my skills in writing, editing, social media, and web design and development, which has led to quite a bit of freelance work. I'm currently looking to get out of I.T. day-job and work full-time in the online communications field, and I believe blogging has ultimately provided me with the experience and skills to do so.

 

It's amazing just to be officially recognised for something that I've poured my heart and soul into for the last 5 years of my life. I'm hoping that it will help in building Bushwalking Blog's audience and, ultimately, lead to more people taking up hiking as a hobby.

I'm continually trying to grow Bushwalking Blog and expand its reach, so one thing I'm planning is to start increasing the frequency of my posts. I have a few other blog-related projects in the works, but I can't be specific about those just yet.

 

I've got a few tips for new bloggers. Firstly, make sure you're passionate about your chosen subject. Blogging is bloody hard work, so you'll tire of it in no time if you're not passionate. Secondly, if you're sure that you're up for the challenge, don't sit around thinking and planning - just go for it. Write interesting blog posts that people will connect with, let your personality shine through, and find an audience by connecting with potential readers via social media. You'll need to be patient and determined."

You can follow Neil:

Blog: Bushwalkingblog.com.au

Facebook: facebook.com/BushwalkingBlog

Twitter: twitter.com/BushwalkingBlog

 

Introducing Lee from Supercharged Food: a BUPA Health Influencer award winner.

The winners of the BUPA Health Influencer blog awards are fantastic people, and I am proud to be in their company. I want to introduce you to them each week, and I encourage you to read their blogs. They've all made a positive difference in their communities and also in their own lives.

My first featured blogger is Lee Holmes from Supercharged Food. She was the overall competition winner as well as winning the Healthy Eating category. I adore her blog header - beautiful graphic design - and I really want to make this blueberries and brown rice recipe. Meet Lee!

"Supercharged Food is a book and website which helps people make nutritious food choices; if you take a visit you'll find healthy recipes, a shopping list, meal planner, cooking tips and wellness information. I hope you come and take a look and try out some of the recipes!"

People visit Supercharged Food to discover new recipes which are nutritious and healing. They also can look through tips on how to get started and improve health from a cellular level. People can come and read in depth information about aspects of cooking and preparing healthy food such as juicing, dehydrating, what appliances and tools to use. There's a review section about many of the latest wellness products and a lot of people like to enter the monthly competitions to be in the running to win healthy prizes and nurturing gifts.

I see blogging as a creative outlet and to be able to inspire others is such a fantastic gift. It's fun to create new recipes and share them with others. I learn a lot from other bloggers too, and it's a wonderful network of people to be involved with, especially in the health and wellness arena. I've met so many inspiring people. Especially you Carly!

Bloggers aren't always immediately recognized for the work that they do so it's great to be able to be involved with BUPA who have created the awards to highlight and recognize the current influencers in the health space. Personally I was shocked to have won because there were so many blogs of a very high caliber not only my category but across all categories so it was very exciting to be selected as the overall winner and the winner of the healthy eating category.

My plans for my blog have always been to keep it real. I have an anti-strategy when it comes to my blog, because I work in marketing and social media and plan strategies all day long for other people I wanted my personal blog to be different. You won't find any behind the scenes publishing calendars or strategy documents :) I write when I feel like it and when I have content that I think will help either educate, inform or inspire others. I have a new recipe book for kids coming out next month and also another book called Eat Yourself Beautiful coming out at the end of the year through Murdoch books. It's all about anti-inflammatory foods and how to eat for certain auto-immune, digestive and inflammatory conditions. I'm also expanding my cooking classes and health coaching business.

My tips for new bloggers are: Be prepared for criticism. Write what you believe in. Network with other bloggers and mostly enjoy what you do."

You can follow Lee's work:

share: www.superchargedfood.com
like: www.facebook.com/superchargedfood
follow: www.twitter.com/LeeSupercharged
blog: supercharged1.wordpress.com
link: www.linkedin.com/in/leesupercharged
watch: www.youtube.com/leeholmes67

 

Blogging tip: Are you driven by statistics or the desire to write?

Blogging can make you feel great. Your writing develops to a point where you beam with pride. Your words on a screen look so shiny! They're quality. You make new friends. Oh my god, so many friends! It’s perfectly acceptable and sociable to spend a Saturday night at home, talking to your friends you made in Blog Land, while drinking a bottle of cabsav, LOLing in your loungeroom over hashtags while your family and cat look at you like you’re a little bit weird.

Having a blog is instant validation. You write something and 10 minutes later, you have an email telling you what a wonderful piece you wrote, what a wonderful person you are, that your reader can relate to your story, and how your style is fabulous, darling. You receive five hundred likes. And you feel pretty damn good about yourself.

I love looking at my stats – mostly seeing how readers reached my blog, but also seeing an increasing readership from a wide range of locations. I seem to attract a lot of people interested in Callan Mulvey, short shorts, disability sex workers and Icthyosis. And those personal Googles – at first it was freaky knowing that people were entering my name into the internet. But then I became comfortable with it (I’m on someone’s mind!), though still find it strange when I see a Google search like “Carly Findlay Depression” (as was searched for on Sunday 24 March) – and I wonder what made them think that I have depression, and subsequently search the internet to see whether I do. (I don't, FYI.)

High readership and social media followers can buoy bloggers (and bloggers buy page views and Twitter followers - who does that??!). As readership increases, confidence can increase too. The more friends you have, the more popular you are, right? And popularity seems to equal happiness and success. At least on screen..

But then when the popularity and validation reduces, it can leave bloggers feeling like they’ve got no friends. And drama can ensue - who's unfollowed who, whether disagreement is trolling or just disagreement, and passive-aggressive tweets and blog posts. Bloggers get caught up in the tangle of worrying about lack of validation, and perhaps the writing comes second. And I think this is dangerous, particularly when a blogger may already be lonely or isolated in the offline world. While contentious, I'm going to call it: I think there's a danger of validation social media heightening insecurity and worry. I've seen many examples of it.

While blogging can be great therapy, sometimes it becomes too introspective, and hanging out too much online can fuel a cycle of sadness. The instant contact and validation can make you feel very wanted and loved, and lack of it can make you feel low. I have been there - when I first started using the internet and had more friends on ICQ than in real life, and also when I felt addicted to words in online relationships.

I think constant commenting on a reduction in validation by blog comments, social media fans and page views indicates insecurity. I see conversations about losing Twitter followers and Facebook fans. Bloggers pretend they’re not worried about their statistics (especially a reduction in visitors or subscribers), but harp on about them anyway. This seems tedious to me. And a little narcissistic. So much is invested in a follower count.

When blogging stops being fun, stop, at least for a little while! I think when you feel a little excluded because your page views are lower than they were last week, or you lost a couple of followers, switch off your screen. Disconnect from social media for a while – spend time with your family and friends in person. Enjoy your own company. And remember, your blog and its statistics do not define you. It’s ok to take a little break – the world will continue without your online presence.

The resurgence of the 'slow blogging movement' encourages bloggers to let go of the immediacy of blogging - the immediacy of posting and the immediacy of receiving validation and blog when inspiration strikes. I really like the idea to reject page ranking:

"Slow Blogging is a response to and a rejection of Pagerank. Pagerank, the ugly-beautiful monster that sits behind the many folded curtains of Google, deciding the question of authority and relevance to your searches. Blog early, blog often, and Google will reward you. Condition your creative self to the secret frequency, and find yourself adored by Google; you will appear where everybody looks – in the first few pages of results. Follow your own pace and find your works never found; refuse Pagerank its favours and your work is pulled as if by riptide into the deep waters of undifferentiated results. Its twisted idea of the common good has made Pagerank a terrifying enemy of the commons, setting a pace that forbids the reflection that is necessary to move past the day to day and into legacy."
(From the Slow Blog Manifesto)

I asked my friends on Twitter what switching off from the Internet means for them.

Amelia_Draws says "sanity... talking less crap... not getting mired in shite that doesnt count. Living gives you stuff to blog about."
Adam Samuel says "disconnect and recharge. Fresh air and find new ideas. Then when you come back your readers will be there waiting :)."
Billy Greene says "perspective. That, and balance. Living a life gives experiences and fresh material."
Kelsey Cooke says "the big one for me is having more time to live out the things I'll later write about."
I Am Evil Cupcake says "Stepping away from any drama. Helps to refocus."
And Mrs CeeCee says "It's always good to have a 'holiday' from anything that takes a lot of your energy."

When you do return to your blog or your social media platforms, have a think about your initial motivators to blog. Was it for the instant validation you’d receive by statistics, or your desire to write?

I really like what Undead Dad has written:

"...I have to remember my priorities. Although I love seeing a new “like” on the screen or a new person following my work, I have to remember that blogging is about giving my thoughts the chance to expand, and extending that process into my personal relationships. That is where the heart of the growth lies. I am forever indebted to readers with whom my words resonate, because they emphasize that this process of growth and learning is a valid one, and one that deserves further investment.
I would chance a guess that this process motivates the writing of many other bloggers. Blogging is a chance to expand upon one’s thoughts in order to develop further as a person. It gives the writer an opportunity to reflect on one’s self and perhaps carry those insights into other, more personal relationships. For this reason I have a new appreciation and, dare I say, love for blogging."

Looking back on my thesis, I thought about what motivated me to start writing this blog:

Nardi et al (2004, p. 9) raise the idea of the “blog as a muse: thinking by writing”, and discuss bloggers who have been “forced to keep writing” because of their blogs, and who believe “material in their blogs might have another life in future magazine articles, scholarly research or other forms of publication”. This idea of the blog as a muse certainly applies to my experience.
(Nardi, B, Schiano, D, Gumbrecht, M and Swartz, L (2004), 'I'm Blogging This: A closer look at why people blog', Submitted to Communications of the ACM.)

A brand new blogger, Melissa Savage, has been blogging since late January 2013. We met last year, after working at the same organisation for a year or so, and I've encouraged her to start blogging because she's a great writer, active on social media and she also enjoys reading blogs.

She enjoys the validation, writing about how quickly came to love blogging here. “At first I kept the blog private and didn't want to show it to anyone, and then one day I accidentally linked it to my Facebook and Twitter, and then people read it, and then I got addicted to seeing how many people read it, and getting their feedback”, Melissa says.

But the pride she has in her writing means just as much. “Then I wrote a series of posts that connected, and I suddenly got comments and messages from everywhere and it was amazing. I am still trying to recapture than magic and build an audience that is bigger than just my family and friends on social media.”

“Most of I all enjoy making the blog better, working on my writing, engaging with people and learning about linking it all up and using my networks to get people to read my work. And as long as I keep putting my heart into it, my readership will keep growing”, Melissa told me. I love her attitude!

Sometimes people will visit your blog, sometimes they won’t. People are entitled to unfollow you on Twitter or Facebook. People are busy, with online and offline lives. Sometimes current topical issues will win you readers, sometimes personal stories will resonate, and sometimes being shared in a wider network will too. Other times, none of these things will work. I haven’t yet found a formula for writing a post that’s successful – other than writing from the heart.

It you've got any questions about blogging, do send them my way.

Previous blogging tips:

Write like someone's watching

Invest in those who invest in you

Being a responsible employee and social media user

Taking your blog to the speaking circuit (guest post on Styling You)

What I know about writing (Tale Teller podcast)

Blogging tip: Write like someone's watching.

 

There's that saying, "Dance like nobody's watching" - where you're encouraged to let yourself go and just have fun, be silly and not be self conscious about what you may like when you're dancing. I'm a big believer in doing the opposite of this when blogging. As in, Write like someone is watching. Actually, write like someone influential is always watching. Write like someone's going to find you. Especially if being a published writer is something you've always aspired to. (This is not to say don't have fun with your writing.)

This mantra could mean be mindful of what you blog about. I believe this is very important as an employee, a parent, a friend, a partner and within the blogging community because you need to protect your reputation and privacy, not reveal too much about your family, friends and employer, and maintain good netiquette. But in this instance I mean you should write in such a way that others would want to publish your work. Blogging is such good practice. I've heard it being described by a prominent writer as "an apprenticeship". Use your blog to prove to an editor why you should and can write for their publication.

Write blog posts that can be pitched to other publications.

Ensure your blog posts contain correctly spelled words, good grammar and punctuation, and original content that has some currency, relevance and interesting and unique perspectives. And make sure your pictures are quality too - clear, and the right way up! While I tend to write more conversationally than formally, I follow a style guide to an extent - for example, using UK English, spacing after full stops and paragraphs (sometimes paragraphing is tricky when using HTML, especially blogging on blogging apps on the iPad, so do take care), the way I write numbers, and capitalisation in headings. I base my style a little on the style guide I use in my day job (a variation on the Commonwealth Style Manual), and a little on the journalism techniques I learnt at university.

Some online publications don't pay their writers, but they will take previously published blog content, and I believe this is a great way to get a start with freelance writing and get noticed more widely. I've submitted my original unedited blog posts to The Peach and Mamamia, and they've republished them, often with a little editing.

Other publications take original blog posts and ask the writer to edit them or have their own editor edit them - and offer payment. Last week's publication on Daily Life was an example of this - I had such a great response to my original blog post that I pitched it to the Daily Life editor, she suggested some changes, and I spent two hours editing my original piece to suit Daily Life. The spelling, grammar and content was already fine, so the only editing needed was reducing the word count and rejigging the order of some paragraphs.

Editors are also great at offering writers advice they can use for future pieces. I used to have a mentor in my day job who would make red pen corrections to everything I wrote and distributed to staff - after I'd distributed the messages - and then I'd review her corrections, and take these on board for the next time I wrote to staff. Each subsequent piece of writing was corrected less and less.

 

And other publications pay their writers but only accept previously unpublished content. So your blog is a great portfolio to show to prospective editors (and also PR companies if pitching for a sponsored post - like I did when pitching to the publicists at the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival) when submitting a pitch.

 

When I started this blog, I did it to develop my writing skills and also to create some sort of portfolio. And I refer to it in almost everything I pitch in my writing, speaking and TV work. Writing this blog has worked for me. Many people ask me advice on how they can get their message out there. I always recommend they start a blog, write a few pieces on their blog and use them (and the contacts built through blogging) to pitch to relevant media outlets. Your blog is your resume.

 

It's hard to write consistently. It takes practice and if you're writing from the heart, it can wear you out emotionally. I joked that writers (especially personal bloggers) should receive emotional compensation for giving a piece of themselves to readers. Sometimes you may write a blog post that comes from being inspired by a joyous or an upsetting event, or you're spilling your emotions onto the screen. I find these posts are always from the heart and often make me feel like I've run a marathon writing them and give me shivers when I read the ones written by others. They usually get the best reaction from readers because they're relatable and evoke empathy in the reader. And they deserve to receive a wider readership.

Here are some bloggers who write consistently high quality blog posts that could easily should be picked up by a range of other publications. They are well written and some have beautiful pictures accompanying the writing.

Edenland

Tiny Savages

Apples Under My Bed

Rellacafa

The $120 Food Challenge

Anna Spargo-Ryan

Big Words Blog

Jouljet

Be your own promoter.

A friend told me I am a good self promoter. I told him that if I don't promote my own work, who else will?! I use social media to promote my writing, and this has got me noticed. Don't be afraid to tweet your posts, share them in relevant Facebook groups, and pitch them to editors of relevant publications (I highly recommend doing a course at the Australian Writers Centre to learn about editing and pitching). Include social media sharing buttons on your blog too, so readers can easily share your work.

By promoting your writing, it gets seen and shared by a huge amount of people - some who could help you with your writing career.

Keep the testimonials you receive.

Screen shot blog comments, tweets and Facebook comments, especially testimonials from editors or prominent people, or members within the community or area of expertise you belong to (I keep positive messages from those in the Ichthyosis community for use on my resume).

Thank people who have helped you.

Finally, if someone helps you with your blog post or freelance writing, such as providing information or a quote, write back to them thanking them and including a scan of or link to your published piece. You never know if they'll offer to republish it or send it on to someone who will, or better still commission you to write an original piece for them!

I can no longer count just how many opportunities have come my way because of blogging. And it's all because I've made a conscious decision to write like someone's watching - and promote my blog posts so that someone does notice. Have confidence in your ability and don't be afraid to promote your blog.

It you've got any questions about blogging, do send them my way. I'm thinking of making blogging tips a regular feature on my blog. What do you think?

Previous blogging tips:

Invest in those who invest in you

Being a responsible employee and social media user

Social media and employees

Being a responsible patient on social media

Blogging as therapy

Taking your blog to the speaking circuit (guest post on Styling You)

What I know about writing (Tale Teller podcast)

Finding the blogging balance

Six tips for new bloggers

 

Heathivate: The discussion about sex. Awkward.

I'm not one to talk about sex. I watch scenes on TV and films and I read about it, but it's not something that I comfortable talking about. I had to talk about sex on radio once and I came out of that interview feeling tense and ill-prepared. I don't write about it much, though I am sure I could if I put my mind to it. I have written about it specifically here and here, if you are interested. Oh the other day, I saw Pacific Magazines googled 'Carly Findlay Sex' twice and reached my blog. Slow news day? Sensationalist voyeurs.

There's something about sex and disability/chronic illness/visible difference. That it's assumed people with disabilities are not sexual beings. That we have never had sex, that we don't want sex, that no one would find us sexually attractive. There is the deeply personal question that strangers feel comfortable enough to ask: "can/how do you have sex?". There's also the idea that we may only want to or be destined to have sex with other disabled people. Maybe that's why I avoid the topic. Because none of those things apply to me, and I don't think they apply to the disabled people I know.

I don't talk about sex with my female friends like they do on Girls (how good is that show by the way?! I'm late to the Girls party, and finally watched the whole first season on the weekend. I love it - especially how open the characters are about sex. And I love the music. And Lena Dunham is so talented. I digress.). When it comes up in conversation, I tend not to look at the person I am talking to, and then hope the topic changes. The last person I properly discussed sex with was the last person I had sex with. And that discussion wasn't verbal, it was through text, so I didn't have to awkwardly avoid eye contact. And I have certainly not discussed sex with my Mum. Unless you count that awkward conversation back in 2003 when I have her a receipt with a petrol voucher on it and she read the receipt, noticing I had bought condoms. And that's been the extent of our discussions about sex.

So when sex therapist Doctor Gabrielle Morrissey spoke for a lengthy period at about the benefits of sex for our health, it was certainly an interesting experience. Ordinarily I would have quietly taken it all in, but my Mum was at the table with me. And I tweeted my way through the weird situation. Others did too - like Jessica Gottlieb.

Doctor Gabrielle certainly reinforced that a healthy, fulfilled sex life applies to everyone in the room. And when she asked us to write down our sexual fantasy on a piece of paper and put it in a box, I left that one right alone (though if I had to answer it, it'd probably be just to have sex regularly). Only, out of the corner of my eye, I caught my Mum participating in the activity.



I can't even.

Anyway, I popped out to the loo to avoid five minutes of going redder than usual. And then I tweeted a little, had a little fun. Doctor Gabrielle talked about red lingerie being the type that men most want a woman to wear. So I figure it's probably ok for me to go naked. Right?

 

She spoke at length about sex toys, and cleverly linked this into blogging.

And finally, the topic that I most related to: touch.

Recently I spoke about touch and skin hunger on ABC Radio National's Life Matters. I also wrote about skin hunger a few times. It's definitely something that I'd like to discuss more with Doctor Gabrielle Morrissey.

While awkward, the session was enjoyable. Doctor Gabrielle had the audience laughing, which is probably the next enjoyable activity after sex.

-

This is my second Healthivate post, more to come. View my first one here.

How do you feel discussing sex? Is it something you're comfortable with?

Up close, delicate and fleeting.

I have been taking a lot of pictures on my phone. I walk around, phone in hand, it's an extension of my body, just like the theory I studied during Communication and New Technology at university. I am always on the lookout - everything is a story. I focus up close, making acute observations, looking at the detail. These small things really do make the world brighter.

Look at the seeds in these strawberries! The plumpness, the light and shade, the richness of the red. They were the sweetest strawberries of the summer.

Look at this fleeting rainbow! Look! It existed, right there on a flight of stairs. I marvel at the rainbows created by the sunshine and glass, reflecting onto the concrete jungle. I love that I'll only see them in the early morning, when the warmth of the sun is delicious, and there's the prospect of a great day ahead of me. Sometimes when it's grey, the rainbows aren't there at all. We are lucky to catch them, even luckier they'll let themselves be photographed.

I've been enjoying this summer more than usual, and I think it's because I am noticing the small things, having fun and being thankful. I guess these photos represent this summer so far, and especially the night I just had. Up close, delicate and fleeting.

I was invited to do some reading at a Midsumma event this week. It was at a performance art show called Quippings, a regular event in the disability community, held at Hares and Hyenas in Fitzroy. Some extremely talented people spoke and played music. I love the diversity in the room. It was inspiring, moving me to write more and get up and read. I saw some old friends there, and made new ones too. I was told I saved their bacon, agreeing to read at last minute, and so unprepared I was, I chose to read two pieces from my blog. Untouched and Our disabilities do not inconvenience you. I'm glad I had no time to prepare.

I used to read poetry at readings around the city. I'd stand in front of strangers, telling them my inner most thoughts in rhyming, alliterative verse. Now I tell strangers around the world my thoughts. You, my readers, don't see me when I write, and I don't see how you react, at least not your facial expressions and gestures only your comments if you choose to leave them. It felt strange to be so openly vulnerable, so vocally sincere. The buffer of a screen disappears. The audience was able to hear my voice soar and waiver, maybe even see me thinking back to the time when I wrote it. I could ad-lib anecdotes. Strangely, and thankfully, I didn't think of him when I read Untouched.

It felt good to receive such an instant positive response from the audience. In this new media world where instant validation is encouraging and ego boosting, and harsh comments can make you question your worth, I do recommend reading your writing out aloud at least once in your life.

I bared my soul by reading my blog posts aloud to an audience of mostly strangers. So different to writing silently. Exhilarating in a different way. I feel appreciated. I received hugs. They saw me up close, delicate yet strong, and the recital was fleeting.

A boy kissed me at the end that night. It was fumbly, friendly, quick, on the run. Permission sought. Twice. I guess it was in response to my vulnerability of my blog post (but I don't want to be a pity kiss). His stubble scratched my face. He apologised. I told him it's ok, I like stubble.

I kept on waking up at intervals through the night to feel whether his kiss really happened. And my lips bled gently in the morning. It confirmed just how sensitive to the touch I am. And so I wrote a poem. That doesn't happen so much now. I like that it happened. I still haven't asked what it was, and truthfully, I don't want to.

-

i can feel the pins of your bristles throb on my lips,

leftovers from our fumbled kiss

I smiled as it happened, I'm smiling now,

it's nothing and it's everything,


 

and you stay on my lips for hours more than seconds,

lustful bruise

hopeful scrape

bloody beautiful memory in the morning,

a reminder that you were there.

 

Blogging back in the Diaryland days. Evolution.

(Photo by Tash)

I've been blogging for years. I've been reading blogs longer than I've been writing them, and I wanted to join in. I felt like I had something to offer, even when my writing wasn't so refined. I started my first blog on Diaryland when I was 19. It was 10 April 2001. I had printed out some of the 'best' (read: not that good in hindsight) entries, and I found the wad of paper when cleaning my spare bedroom over the weekend. My posts were written almost 12 years ago, and though it doesn't feel like very much time has passed, reading through my words shows just how much I've grown.

While I am mindful of being a responsible blogger in my current blogging foray, I had a lot to learn back then. I'd blog about working at a department store, mention other peoples' names (though seemingly never mine) when they probably didn't know I was writing about them, and I would copy and paste a lot of sad song lyrics. I'd write about Big Brother and Popstars - two things that I have no interest in now. I did write a lot about Felicity though - that love hasn't gone.The writing wasn't great - in fact, it was lazy - with excessive use of "cos", "kinda" and ellipses... The blog post topics were not so cohesive, some were brief and many were just Twitter-length fleeting thoughts (but not so quick witted) rather than exploring topics on a deeper level. To be honest, it was a boring read. Maybe it's because I hadn't had enough life experience as a 19 year old? Or maybe it was because I didn't give enough of myself on my blog.

What struck me most about these blog posts from 2001 was just how little I revealed about myself. It was as though I kept my online life so separate to my "real life" - I suppose hid my face and any information about my Ichthyosis from the world so that I could be a different person to people I had never met.

I was so reserved about the real me then. I was too scared to show my face on my blog because I feared no one would like it, just like no one liked it in the world I lived in then. 

I blogged about being proud of my low weight and being ashamed of my appearance. Two things I never do now. How I've changed - now I edit for better quality writing, and not so much parts of my life I think others won't accept. 

From 5 August 2001:
Seeing I was feeling a bit down, and found out I only weighed 50.5 kg this week, I decided to splurge and buy a Wonka Wicked Choc Mud Sludge bar, because there was a chance of winning a golden ticket.  

I wondered why weight was so important to me then? A low weight especially. Did it come down to the magazines I read? Was it the nightclubs I visited, the way I'd get excited that a drunk boy had noticed my cleavage before my face? Was it that I was finally starting to feel like I was fitting, and so had to maintain some sense of normalcy? The way my body feels, moves and copes is far more important to me now. 


I remember my online interactions from 1999 to 2001 (and probably beyond) - I'd use ICQ, and later online dating, fall in love with boys on there, they'd reciprocate (I think?), and I'd take a big metaphorical breath before sending them my photo, because I feared knew they wouldn't like me beyond my words. Some did. Many didn't, and openly mocked my appearance

From 4 April 2001:
I get worried about sending people my picture online, so I have devised a strategy to overcome the nerves: I send a pic of me next to a gorgeous person, and that way, the gorgeous person would take the attention away from me. Kinda like a decoy.

There seemed to be a mix of mistrust and kinship in the early days of interacting on the Internet. There probably still is. Mistrust in the sense that you thought anyone you spoke to online could be a murderer or a fraudster, and kinship in that you experience the "oh my god someone relates to how I feel and what I'm experiencing and that's never happened in my real life before!!". These two feelings tumbled around each other, never quite stopping to a calm. I didn't show my face or mention my name on that blog.

I hinted that there may be something wrong with me, that I may look different on that Diaryland blog. But I never came out and said it on that blog, nor the two subsequent blogs I had after that. And then one day I did. I introduced myself in my first post on this blog as having a chronic illness, as looking different. I don't know what prompted to be so open about my appearance on the internet. I guess it was the realisation that life online was real life. And the more I wrote, the more I became comfortable with the way I look

How long have you been blogging? What does your first blog or blog post say about you? Have you grown through writing?

Kirsty has a little link up over here - how fitting, considering my weekend find!