tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post3211242966019525934..comments2024-01-16T01:42:41.699+11:00Comments on Tune into Radio Carly: Overwhelm – the perils of living what I am writing about.Carly Findlayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01368145710452826385noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-36358200744532933112016-08-23T20:59:36.660+10:002016-08-23T20:59:36.660+10:00Thank you for writing about this Carly. Over 20 y...Thank you for writing about this Carly. Over 20 years of working in nursing and care sectors (most recently with women with cancer) and I'm only now realising the importance of self-care. Here is a piece that was helpful for me. Take care x<br />http://heatherplett.com/2015/03/how-to-hold-space-for-yourself-first/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-92038308252206324822016-08-23T20:59:01.235+10:002016-08-23T20:59:01.235+10:00Important and powerful writing Carly Findlay Morro...Important and powerful writing Carly Findlay Morrow. This gives us a true insight into what you do and what you live every day. Take care of yourself for you, your loved ones and those that need you. It's your life first and foremost. That you choose to help others is a bonus for them and not a right. You come first. Take care. You are a wonderful person. XAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-63586264371662831632016-08-23T20:55:34.208+10:002016-08-23T20:55:34.208+10:00Important and powerful writing Carly. This gives u...Important and powerful writing Carly. This gives us a true insight into what you do and what you live every day. Take care of yourself for you, your loved ones and those that need you. It's your life first and foremost. That you choose to help others is a bonus for them and not a right. You come first. Take care. You are a wonderful person. XAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-78042837673322090492016-08-23T20:54:52.241+10:002016-08-23T20:54:52.241+10:00I follow you precisely because I learn, and am cha...I follow you precisely because I learn, and am challenged to adjust my thinking, from the issues you discuss. I appreciate what you do and the effort you make to encourage discussion, sharing and the way in which you speak out. I've been meaning to say it recently, this post gave me the motivation to say it publicly instead if sending you a message. Thank you for all that you do!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-14429801769342939262016-08-23T20:54:18.531+10:002016-08-23T20:54:18.531+10:00Excellent article Carly... the lines are so blurre...Excellent article Carly... the lines are so blurred now, and there is part of me that understands so well that your unique and unaltered voice is what makes you so effective, and part of me wonders if some professional training in handling the trauma that naturally comes with providing support (which you are doing) is needed?? As part of that self-care? I don't know, but I do know that you open up new worlds and new ways of looking at those around us all. You do good work. Be proud. xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-81362491198648854052016-08-23T20:53:42.010+10:002016-08-23T20:53:42.010+10:00Thank you. I can truly relate. While it is a passi...Thank you. I can truly relate. While it is a passion to advocate, and offer help, it can be very overwhelming. What a breath of fresh air to know I am not alone, and read your perspective along with the perspectives and input of your friends and advocates here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-56626748542568028342016-08-23T20:53:12.647+10:002016-08-23T20:53:12.647+10:00Fabulous stuff, Carly. Just sharing here in case i...Fabulous stuff, Carly. Just sharing here in case it is useful for you or for any others... Rape and DV Services provide support to professionals experiencing vicarious trauma in their work. I think you would be included in that. I've heard very positive things about them from advocates I work with. Please be gentle with you. You make such an important contribution to this world; it must be protected! :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-43887153654808271742016-08-23T20:51:53.036+10:002016-08-23T20:51:53.036+10:00Carly this is great. As someone who had struggled ...Carly this is great. As someone who had struggled to be useful to anyone else during my own personal health crisis this year, I can relate. Take whatever time you need for you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-25310684460380847932016-08-23T12:52:19.423+10:002016-08-23T12:52:19.423+10:00This is one of your best, Carly. Absolutely brill...This is one of your best, Carly. Absolutely brilliant and so important. I have been feeling a lot of the same things lately.Raynanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-10696650141480870092016-08-23T12:08:15.953+10:002016-08-23T12:08:15.953+10:00Thanks for sharing this. I can relate. About five ...Thanks for sharing this. I can relate. About five months ago I started working for a disability website. I think it's one you're not a particular fan of, but regardless… My job involves reading at least a dozen stories every day written by people with disabilities and/or their families. I knew when I took the job that it wouldn't always be easy, but I didn't really think about the fact that I would sometimes be reading stories from parents whose child died. The first one I read was a gut punch. I can cope with many of them now, but when one of my best friends passed away a couple of months ago, I had to ask others to handle them for a few weeks.<br /><br />There is such a diversity of experiences. Many of our writers are positive and strong advocates. Some are afraid of society or of what effect their condition may have on them now or in the future. Some are bitter and angry. Some deal with internalized ableism or project their unhealthy feelings about disability onto their loved ones. We don't publish those stories, but we still have to read them, and respond to them politely. <br /><br />We have many, many people who hope we can help them in some way, whether it be connecting them to others with similar experiences, spreading the word about an incident of discrimination they faced, or asking readers to help them get a treatment or piece of medical equipment they desperately need but can't afford. We talk to people who have misinformation about what they can and can't do in their situation, or who don't know there's a program that could help them. When I communicate with them, I try to offer a little bit of support, something I've learned from my experiences. But I have to make choices about whom I will invest in emotionally. I have to know which issues are triggers for me, and just respond politely and not get involved in those situations. <br /><br />Sometimes I have to say I can't deal with a particular person or circumstance, and ask someone else to do so instead. I felt bad about that at first, but now I know it's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength and knowing my own capabilities.<br /><br />It does take a toll. Some days are more difficult than others. It's hard for me because I often spend my days off dealing with issues related to my own disability, like going to doctors' appointments or dealing with the complicated system of rules and paperwork that allows me to have my job and still get disability benefits. I also have my own blog to build a readership for, and other interests and business opportunities I'm pursuing. I don't always get enough time for self-care. But I do try to do something fun every Saturday, even if it's just taking one of my dogs on a run around downtown. It sounds like you understand the importance of self-care, and I hope you can find methods that work for you.<br /><br />We all have the ability to make the world a better place through our advocacy and actions. However, we can't save or help every person. Like triage in an emergency situation, we have to decide who we can help and who we can't. However, that doesn't mean those we don't help are necessarily beyond help. It just means we may not be the right person to help them, or they need to get to a place of wanting to help themselves first.<br /><br />I hope you can find a balance. Please know that your voice is really important and valued.<br />Karinhttp://www.freewheelintravel.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-36669620669607143892016-08-23T11:42:54.319+10:002016-08-23T11:42:54.319+10:00Such a great article Carly. So many things to cons...Such a great article Carly. So many things to consider and I am so happy that your voice is out there. I think it's really important to recognise that it can take its toll. It can be so exhausting to constantly educate and have so many questions, advice seeking etc from everyone I'm sure. <br />I think you are the shit! Yes. <br />And I love your balance, the cute outfits, the watermelon face etc. Total cuteness. <br />I hope you have a beautiful day full of cups of tea and crumpets or whatever floats your boat, and know that you are appreciated by so many. Your voice is so important. But so are you. Yup xxxxxx❤️Edienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-17572362703613600132016-08-23T11:31:08.125+10:002016-08-23T11:31:08.125+10:00<3 We're so glad to have your voice out the...<3 We're so glad to have your voice out there Carly, I hope you get the self care, as well as the community support you need to keep going- & I'll happily throw some vicarious love your way <3Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-1805679124235066862016-08-23T11:23:05.892+10:002016-08-23T11:23:05.892+10:00Thank you Carly. Something I've learnt to acce...Thank you Carly. Something I've learnt to accept is that there is always some whose situation/suffering/burden is greater than our own but this does not minimize what we are living and the impact it has on our lives and our loved ones. We/you don't need to apologize for that. <br />Self-care for women is a passion of mine. Particularly women who lead lives supporting others. It comes in all shapes and sizes yet is as vital as oxygen and water. Do what it takes to take care of you. <br />Thank you for all that you do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-9345843455762385442016-08-23T10:17:16.480+10:002016-08-23T10:17:16.480+10:00Such an important post, Carly, and very well writt...Such an important post, Carly, and very well written. Everyone uses the aeroplane analogy for mothers - put your own mask on before you help children - and I think it's just as fitting here. On top of the awareness work you choose to do, there's the work you end up doing because people contact you, or the incidental awareness 'work' you do simply by existing with a visible difference. Take care of you xxEmilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15636757667368447102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-56382046603866093812016-08-23T09:26:03.171+10:002016-08-23T09:26:03.171+10:00One of the most powerful posts I have read this ye...One of the most powerful posts I have read this year. I'm so glad that you are using this platform to share your experience. Much love to you Cheryl @blissandmayhemhttp://www.abitofblissandmayhem.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1720872153813357167.post-37978859614340411882016-08-23T08:07:26.635+10:002016-08-23T08:07:26.635+10:00"I have a disability. I live the discriminati..."I have a disability. I live the discrimination and the ableism and the pain."<br /><br />I agree, and other people should not be using social justice to put down and demean you. That is a perversion of what social justice is. Asking you to examine your privilege is one thing if you're showing your ass. Telling you in essence that you have it so good so stop whining is something different, and it's unacceptable.Tiger Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17314304221425930905noreply@blogger.com